


Legato

by captain_lupin_x



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Coming Out, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Gay Remus Lupin, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Indian James Potter, Internalized Homophobia, James Potter is a Good Friend, Karaoke, M/M, Marauders, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Multi, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Nymphadora Tonks, Oblivious Remus Lupin, Pansexual Sirius Black, Remus Lupin has Self-Esteem Issues, Sarcastic Remus Lupin, Severus Snape Bashing, Slow Burn, Texting, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, drunk, fenrir is abusive, im scared to say slow burn in this fandom LOL, poc characters, sirius black is oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 43,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_lupin_x/pseuds/captain_lupin_x
Summary: “In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”A story of two silly boys falling in love during University through the method of drunk karaoke, just dance and friendshipWOLFSTAR FIC (background Jily and Darlene)Rated M for language and possible scenes in future.
Relationships: Fenrir Greyback/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Remus Lupin/Fabian Prewett, Sirius Black/Gideon Prewett, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 38





	1. Rasputin

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone!  
> Welcome to my first multi-chapter Wolf-Star fic! Please bear with me on this one, updates will be coming out as soon as I can :)  
> I have particular fan casts in my head for the marauders, the most important being Dev Patel for James Potter.  
> I also have a playlist which I will be updating with the songs used in the fic! You can have a listen here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgM2Opou2_SKff4hGUBjf58PcvHWdHjC1 or search: Legato (captain_lupin_x) on youtube.  
> I will be putting it at the start of every chapter to get your head into the fanfic!  
> BIG BIG BIG shout out to lovely Shay (winterscaptsam) for helping me out with this fic. She's been a true creative genius and given a lot of advice. 
> 
> So here's the first chapter! I really hope you enjoy, leave kudos and comments I would love to hear what you think! And, if you have any songs you think would be great to use, comment them too! I may use them for the fic or as a separate one-shot in the future. - Captain_Lupin_x

** CHAPTER ONE- _Rasputin_ **

_“In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”_

Remus Lupin had been in his University Accommodation in busy London for approximately three days before he got a knock on his bedroom door. 

Placing down his first Literature book of the term, he sauntered over towards the door, barefoot. When he opened it, he was greeted by an Indian lad with glasses, sweating a fair amount- _James Potter_ \- an excitable, athletic, cheeky soul, one of whom Remus felt drawn to immediately, something about him was screaming _home_ and _family._

“Hey!” he panted, resting his hand on Remus’ door frame. “James Potter, remember? We met first day.”

“Yeah, we also share a kitchen.” Remus chuckled, knowing full well the other boy hadn’t noticed Remus’ entries and departures due to his obvious stress of _first-time-cooking_ (pasta and cheese)

“Right! I know that, well, I’ve noticed you've kept yourself to yourself a little bit, and I don't want you to think I don't want you to hang around or anything! Well, you know Sirius Black right?”

Oh yes, he did know Sirius Black. 

Remus squirmed thinking about the other boy’s angular face and high cheekbones, and the shoulder-length black, silky hair. Oh God and those _eyes._

“Mmhm.” He chose to reply, not trusting what would come out of his mouth if he had chosen words. 

“Well, the absolute nutter bought a Wii console, we are playing Just Dance with Peter- you know, Peter Pettigrew-”

Peter: the fairly large, fairly short boy with mousy curly hair and an upturned nose, who helped Remus with his bags to his bedroom. ( _well, he held two saucepans for me)_ Remus couldn’t imagine him wanting or enjoying playing _anything_ on the Wii, but he was a kind, smiling boy- the type to do what his friends did to try and fit in. 

“James, yeah I know, I’ve met you all. The girls there?”

“Oh, of course, sorry, Remus. Sorry, I’m just so _giddy!_ We have _Just Dance!_ Do you want to join us? We are having a bit of a party, that Marlene made some vicious concoction.”

“Oh- James, I’m not sure, I have some reading for my class and -”

“There are _four_ Wii remotes.”

“I’ll be out in a sec.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus entered the common room holding the cheap bottle of vodka he had kept in his room for a rainy day. He didn’t want to go to his first official Uni party empty handed and it was either this or the half-eaten chocolate bar he kept in his top drawer. 

The people in the common room, _my flatmates_ Remus thought to himself, were all whooping at the two boys standing flailing their arms around in front of the TV. 

“Remus, right?” One of the girls said, turning her attention away from the, quite frankly, hilarious scene. She had an ombre effect on her afro, it looked really pretty. Her hazel eyes complimented the purple crop top and cargo trousers she wore, adorned in chains. “Come sit here and look at the song list with me, maybe we can duet. I'm far too sober to be dancing alone.” She winked as Remus flopped down next to her. 

“Marlene, you can’t _possibly_ be sober after two glasses of whatever the _hell_ you bought with you.” Chuckled the short girl with the braids down to her waist. _Dorcas._ Remus thought to himself. _Marine biology, met her when moving in._ He remembered liking her, she held herself in a cool manner and wore oversized jumpers, much like Remus’ grandpa sweaters. She was also very naturally pretty, she had clear, golden brown skin and tonight, her chocolate brown eyes were lined with a hot pink eyeliner and he thought she couldn’t look any cooler if she tried. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Dorky my dear. It’s because _you’re_ a lightweight.” Marlene replied with a smug face.

“You want a glass, Remus?” Another girl said from behind the sofa. “ _Ooooh_ vodka!” She cheered, swapping the bottle he still clutched to like a life support, with a red cup filled with liquid. He watched as the girl, long red hair floating behind her like an angel, ran back into the kitchen. She was also petite, wearing a flowing skirt and billowing shirt. From his space on the sofa, he could tell her face was dusted in freckles, and her green eyes could capture anyone’s attention. She was smiling at Remus’ vodka bottle as if it told her a joke, and he knew they could be great friends, their shared love for cheap vodka said it all.

Whatever dance was on ended and the dancers showed their opinions of their performance. One of them, being James, groaned and flicked his glasses up his nose, and the other _oh god-_ Sirius, with his unfairly gorgeous eyes, cheered and jumped. 

“How do you always win, Sirius? You got this thing rigged or something?” James huffed. 

“Not my fault you haven’t got hips.” Sirius retorted, wiggling his hips in the process, making Remus blush.

“I’ve got hips! Evans! I’ve got hips haven’t I?” James screeched, directing it towards the kitchen to the red-headed girl who had given Remus his drink. 

“I wouldn’t know, Potter.” She replied, coldly.

“Like to find out?” James winked and started gyrating his hips _horrifically_ and without rhythm. 

“In your dreams.”

“Yes, you are, my sweet Evans.”

“Okay!” Another girl in the room interrupted, someone Remus hadn’t met. “As _romantic_ as this is, Sirius, love, you’ve hogged the Wii remotes can I _please_ dance now?” The girl had bright blue eyes, they were large and her nose petite to match her frame. She had wavy brown hair that sat on top of her slightly tanned shoulders, of which were on show as she dressed in an off-the-shoulder, low-cut, figure-hugging flowery top. 

“Of course, Mary. Need to give my _active_ hips a break anyways. Hey, Lupin!” 

Sirius handed Mary the Wii remote and she eagerly set herself up to dance to _Proud Mary._

“Scooch.” Sirius ordered Peter, who moved to sit in Mary’s vacant seat, leaving the space next to Remus empty, to which Sirius unceremoniously flopped himself on to with a big sigh. 

Remus gulped and shook himself internally. In no way shape or form was he ready to have a full conversation with Sirius Black. He was wearing some ridiculous floaty black top, that was a little bit see-through and Remus made the effort to not _stare_ any lower than his chin- Okay neck- okay, shoulders- okay- _ah fuck._ A wave of expensive cologne bombarded his senses and he was reminded of the first time he had met the man…

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_“I’ll take these pans into the kitchen, okay? Do you have labels or anything? I’ll put them in my cupboard for now just remind me because I have the brain of a goldfish.” Peter said to Remus, holding up the said pans almost comically._

_“No labels, but go on ahead, Peter, thank you I appreciate it.”_

_The short boy nodded at him and made his way to the shared kitchen as Remus made his way to his new room._

_“Room B, room B, room B” He muttered to himself, lugging his bags behind him, his eyes narrowing on to the door letters- and not noticing the body he ran into._

_The first thing he noticed was the incredible smell, almost musky, but definitely a bit flowery. The next thing he noticed, the only part of the body he could instantly see was a head full of smooth black hair, the top of the person’s head hitting him directly in the eyes. The final thing was the strong, muscular hands that gripped on to the tops of his arms, making him feel safe and warm._

_“Hey, you alright, mate? You lost?”_

_The first words Sirius Black ever said to him. His voice was smooth and rich, maybe a bit gruff, and he enunciated every word as if they were the most important words in the dictionary. He had good posture and a chiselled face, clearly depicting a past of wealth. His clothes were all black, complete with a black leather jacket. This man was the most beautiful man Remus had ever seen, he was almost_ starstruck. _He only gaped at the gorgeous man, mouth not willing to cooperate as he opened and closed it like the goldfish Peter apparently had the brains like._

_“Sorry, are you lost?” He repeated, giving Remus a little shake._

_“Oh-” He had to clear his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”_

_He looked down at the man’s hands which let go of his arms and inwardly cringed at his baggy grey cardigan and brown trousers. First Dorcas- the cool girl, then Peter, who at least dressed in a normal checkered shirt and jeans, and now -_

_“Sirius Black, by the way.”_

_And now Sirius, looking like every inch of sin, and Remus was dressed, in the presence of such cool people, like his grandfather._

_“Remus, Remus Lupin.” He replied, stretching his hand. They shook hands briefly, Sirius’ eyes lightening from a stormy grey to more of a clear blue-grey._ How did his eyes _do_ that? _Remus thought to himself, staring into them without any shame._

_“Cool name. Well B is at the end of the corridor, I’m opposite in room A if you ever want to stop for a chat, or a drink, or a smoke.” Sirius grinned, taking a cigarette from behind his ear and sticking it between his lips. His stunning, pink, kissable lips-_

_“See you later then? Heard one of the guys, James, is cooking us pasta tonight as a welcome home thing. The guy is way too friendly.” Sirius chuckled, patting Remus on the shoulder._

_“Er, yeah sure.”_

_“Cool, although I think I’ll try and convince the bloke that we will order pizza instead- think we are going to have plenty of pasta living in a uni complex.”_

_“I’d say you’re probably right on that one.” Remus felt himself laugh._

_Sirius looked at him with some sort of affection in his eyes._

_“Alright, Remus Lupin. Operation abolish pasta is a go!”_

_With that, Sirius headed towards the exit punching the air, and Remus finally felt like he could breathe._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shaking himself from the memory of the beginning of his torture, he asked, nonchalantly, “Alright?” 

_Alright? Of all the things to say, you said alright?_

“Yeah, I’m just dandy. _Jump_ is one of my favourite songs on here.” He pointed to the TV where a girl in an orange dress clicked her fingers to the beat of the song, mirroring Mary in front, who started to roll her hips, making eye contact with Remus. He looked away with a blush, taking a sip from the drink he still hadn’t tried. 

“Hm. I’m a Rasputin man myself.” Remus replied.

“Oh, well yes, of course, that's the _best_ dance on there. No one has ever beaten my high score.”

“Bet _I_ could.” 

Sirius stared at him intently, almost _offended._ As Remus was about to look away from the intense glare, Sirius held up his hand for him to shake.

“Alright, end of the night when we are delightfully drunk, I challenge you to a Rasputin dance battle. Loser buys the winner a drink. Deal?” 

Remus shook Sirius’ hand, trying to ignore the sparks he felt jump from his hand and through his arm.

“Deal.” He muttered, snatching his hand away before he had the temptation of pulling Sirius on to his lap. 

“Oh _mon loup,_ You’re about to get absolutely wrecked.” Sirius smirked, shooting him a wink. 

_For fucks sake,_ Remus thought. _I’m not drunk enough for this shit._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After three cups of Marlene’s Magic Mix (dubbed such a name by Sirius) Remus felt buzzed. He had watched Dorcas dance to _‘It’s Raining men’,_ James and Peter, who didn’t want to dance but was egged on by the former, dance to ‘ _Girlfriend’_ , Lily dance, sensually to ‘ _Crazy in Love’_ with James watching the entire performance with his mouth wide open, and reciprocated by dancing to _‘Iko Iko’_ to impress Lily, which, of course, didn’t work, and left the group in floods of laughter at the ridiculous scene.

“You all laugh now, won’t be laughing when Lily is dressed in all white in a couple of years!” James huffed.

“Aww, James, you want us to wear _white_ to your funeral when Lily ends up murdering you? Damn, I love it when traditions are broken.” Sirius teased, making the group erupt in laughter again. 

“I hate you all.” James replied dryly, but with a slight smirk on his face. He then turned to Remus. “Speaking of breaking traditions, does the Welsh boy want to remove his arse from his seat and have a dance? You haven’t done one yet.”

“I like my arse where it is, thank you. And that’s not true! Marlene hasn’t danced yet!” Remus protested.

“Actually, I did before you came in.” Marlene supplied, grinning at Remus’ discomfort.

“Thought you said you weren’t drunk enough?”

“Eh, you can either be completely sober or completely drunk for Just Dance, everyone knows that.”

Everyone apart from Remus hummed in agreement.

“Well, I’m neither completely _sober_ nor completely _drunk._ ”

“Another rule is you have to dance when the drinks maker tell you to, and seeing as I’m the reason Dorcas is currently emptying her stomach of the terrible pasta James made earlier-”

“Hey!” James interjected but Marlene paid him no mind.

“- It means that _I_ am the drinks maker, and I certainly do insist, Mr Remus Lupin, that you _dance!”_

The room began to chant “Remus” over and over again until he sighed and stood up, igniting cheers, whoops, and whistles across the room.

“You lot are absolutely ridiculous.” He said, snatching the remote from James, freeing him from standing up. 

“Oh go on, Remus, give us a show.” Sirius pestered.

“I bet you’re a good dancer, Remus- you’re so tall.” Mary encouraged in awe, her eyes scanning his body.

Remus cleared his throat and turned around to face the TV. His face heated at the attention everyone was giving him.

He chose ‘ _Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’,_ That being his feel-good song and reminded him of his dad. A wave of homesickness rushed over him as he pressed the A button and heard the group chatter in excitement.

_Jitterbug_

Remus copied the dancer in the eighties attire, clicking his fingers and rocking on his feet, his gangly knees popping out and in again. He heard a loud wolf whistle from the sofa but chose to ignore it.

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_You put the boom boom into my heart,_

He began to bounce from foot to foot, his hand slapping the knee that came up. 

_You send my soul sky high_

_When your lovin’ starts,_

_Jitterbug into my brain,_

He then placed his hands on his hips and swayed them left to right, fully aware that Sirius was the one sitting directly behind him. 

_Goes a bang bang bang til my feet do the same._

He hit the palms of his hands against the side of his head.

_But something’s buggin’ you_

He began to elongate his arms and pull them back in again, changing his splayed hands into fists in a dramatic pose, feeling himself loosen up from his prior stiffness and awkwardness.

_Something ain’t right_

_My best friend told me_

_What you did last night_

_You left me sleepin’_

_In my bed_

_But I shoulda been with you instead!_

Remus lifted his fists to his head again, one arm raising, one arm falling as he prepared for the chorus.

_Wake me up,_

_Before you go-go_

And there it was. The room was engulfed with awful drunk singing as Remus began to do the Carlton, quite impressively for a 6’3 man with alcohol in his system.

_Don’t leave me hanging on_

_Like a yo-yo_

_Wake me up_

_Before you go-go_

_I don’t want to miss it_

_When you hit that high_

Oh God. He thought perhaps maybe, for once in his life, he could be around a guy he fancied without making a fool of himself, but he seemed to have forgotten about the knobbly knees and knocking his fists together movement, which he now saw himself doing, in unison to Marlene’s shout of “Yeah! Bash those knees, son!” Which he thought was best to disregard entirely.

_Wake me up_

_Before you go-go_

_Cos I’m not planning on_

_Going solo_

_Wake me up_

_Before you go-go_

_Take me dancing tonight_

And then began the hip movements- which he, also, _conveniently_ forgot about. Lunging on his left leg, he took the arm holding the stupid remote and swung it in a circle, thrusting his hips forward. His make-shift audience seemed to like this as they wolf-whistled, cheered, and he could have sworn he heard James say: “Yeah you show that wall in the far corner who’s _boss!”_ he felt himself smile a little, these were the people he would be living with for the next year and they honestly weren’t so bad. They were watching him thrust in the middle of their common room and still hadn’t punched him in the face so that was a good sign, right?

_I wanna hit that high!_

Oh, of course the cursed game of Just Dance 2 wanted to embarrass him further… He jumped, circling his arms to his sides, extending them like bird wings and swung his hips around in a circle, which, of course, led to more inappropriate heckling. The star move was coming up, and Remus remembered from his childhood what he had to do. Raising his arms above his head, he held his hands together and circled his hips even more ferociously and got the points for it. 

“Remus Lupin giving us sexy circles from Year 6 PE everyone.” Lily laughed, clapping her hands together.

“What the fuck are sexy circles?” Peter guffawed.

“Now, now, Peter, if we watch Remus you may be lucky to see them again. I sure hope _I_ do.” Mary said with a flirtatious tone. 

“Well well well, McDonald, it sure sounds like you have a crush on George Michael 2.0 here hm?” Marlene teased. 

“I said nothing of the sort! I’m just a fine, confident woman with _eyes.”_ Mary said nonchalantly, taking a sip from her red cup, going back to eyeing Remus eagerly.

Remus also decided to ignore those comments as he continued to dance the same routine again. The instrumental section soon came, and he faced to his right, kicking one leg up and directing his arms in a running motion. Facing this way, he was directly in front of Peter. He laughed at Remus and imitated his moves from the safety of his deck chair. Remus laughed at him in return, getting a little out of breath. He then lifted his arms and swivelled to face the wall again, a smile plastered on his face. _Yeah,_ he thought to himself _I’m going to make some great memories here._

_Cuddle up baby,_

_Move in tight_

Remus lifted his arms in the air, and subsequently dropped them to hug himself.

_We’ll go dancing tomorrow night._

_It’s cold out there_

_But it’s warm in bed_

_They can dance_

_We’ll stay home instead!_

He lightly shimmied and went back to enthusiastically slapping his hand against his knees.

When the song came to a close, everyone roared with excitement, James even stood up to hug him and lift him off the ground.

“Where the hell have you been hiding, Remus Lupin?” He questioned, placing his new friend down.

Remus only beamed in response.

“ FOUR STARS?!” Marlene screamed, pointing a finger to the TV.

“You were robbed, mate.” Peter supplied. 

“Totally!” Marlene actually sounded offended. “I’m almost scared to duet with you now. Here, sit down, I’ll get all your drinks for you tonight after that beast of a performance.” 

She promptly stood up and shoved the man by the shoulders to the sofa. He flopped down into Marlene’s seat, his drink being passed to him straight away. 

“Evans! Come do this dance with me? The characters look like us!” James called, pointing the cursor to ‘ _A Punk’._

“Will you leave me alone if I do?” Lily groaned in return.

“I’m not making any promises.” James replied with a large grin. 

If someone was close enough, they may have been able to see the slight quirk of Lily’s lip, but she played it off with an eye roll and sigh as she stood up.

“Go on then, Potter.”

“Yes! So, if I win, can I take you out on a date?”

Lily actually did laugh out loud then. 

“Seeing that _my_ chances of winning are pretty much certain, I can agree to that. But-” She said quickly before James continued. “If _I_ win, you have to go on a date with whoever _I_ set you up with. I seem to recall you have a _wonderful_ relationship with a certain biology student downstairs.” She smirked at James’ newly pale face.

“Oh, Evans, you wouldn’t.”

“Oh yes, I would. If I win, _you,_ James Potter, are going on a date with Severus Snape!”

James visibly cringed at the thought, but reluctantly held his hand to shake.

“Alright then. The things I’d do for you, Evans.”

“Shut up and put on the dance.”

“They’d actually make a fantastic couple.” A voice murmured directly by Remus’ ear. 

He shuddered as he realised Sirius hadn’t left the sofa the entire time. He turned to face the long-haired man whose eyes were hooded and content. 

“Yeah, I see it.” Remus confirmed, sipping from his cup so he had something to do, but soon realised his cup was empty. Sirius must have realised too as he suddenly clapped his hands twice.

“Mr Lupin has an empty cup! I repeat: Mr Lupin has an empty cup! Look alive, Marlene!” He boomed in an overly-posh accent. 

As soon as he said it, Marlene was behind Remus, reaching for his cup.

“I am so sorry, sir. I will try better next time.”

“That you will, Miss Mckinnon, as Mr Lupin’s manager I am highly disappointed, I wouldn’t want to fire you on your first day.” Sirius replied before Remus could object to this ridiculous pampering.

“Of course not, Mr Black.” 

Marlene handed Remus’ cup back, full. She saluted and went to sit with Dorcas who had returned from the bathroom and was sat down by the door cradling her stomach. 

“So, I’ve seen the goods, Remus Lupin, and I am very impressed, however, I still believe I have _Rasputin_ in the bag.” Sirius said, manoeuvring himself so that he was closer to Remus and facing him. Remus gulped, trying to maintain eye contact to avoid suspicion.

“Ah, I wouldn’t be too sure, but I’ll let you have your confidence.” He shot back, taking large gulps of - _straight vodka._ He coughed and shot his head to Marlene who only gave him a thumbs up and a wide, mischievous grin. 

“Her drink is amazing, right?”

“Er, yeah, so is this cheap vodka I bought.” Remus chuckled, lifting his cup in a cheers motion and downing the whole cup. 

Sirius watched his Adam's Apple bob with wide eyes and shallowed breath. Remus pulled back and smacked his lips together, turning to face Sirius again. He watched, as the man in front of him cleared his throat and moved his desired gaze to his lips.

_Shit._ Remus thought, feeling his face grow warmer and his hands grow shaky. _Shit shit shit._

“Remus?” 

He whipped his head to the other side of him, a delicate hand grabbing his upper arm. Mary McDonald smiled at him and nudged her head towards the kitchen. 

“Fancy getting another? I promise I’ll pour it to maintain this whole worship act.”

“Oh, er, yeah. Sure- sounds good.” Remus replied, croaking a little. 

He got up, not daring to look at Sirius until he was far far away from him. _It’s your first uni party and you’ve already got yourself flustered over the first guy you see. Get a hold of yourself!_

“So, that was a performance and a half. You have some good hip action.” Mary said, trapping Remus against the counter and reaching for his cup. He was at least a whole foot taller than her and he looked down to her lithe frame.

He blushed slightly, rubbing his hand through his curly mop of hair. 

“Ah, well, I um-”

“You know, I can probably put those hips to good use.” She interrupted his babbling with a sultry look, batting her eyelashes.

“Oh, er, is this- are you- sorry, are you flirting with me?” Remus questioned.

“Oh, now he’s caught on!” She giggled, placing her hand to his chest and fiddling with his cardigan. “I’ve been flirting with you all night, love.”

He blushed further.

“Oh! Well, I um, I’m _flattered_ but I-”

“You really don’t know how attractive you are, do you? You’re hot stuff, Remus.” She murmured, pushing him further against the counter and leaning up. 

“I’M GAY!” He near- screamed, causing the whole room to look at him. 

Mary stepped away from him slightly, putting an amused Marlene in sight. 

“I’m gay.” He repeated quietly, just to Mary- not like there was any point as the rest of the room were still staring at him. 

“Oh, Remus- I’m so sorry!” Mary shrieked. “I am so so sorry! Oh my god I am _mortified.”_

Remus chuckled nervously, “No, no, it’s okay, honestly don’t worry about it.”

Mary still looked a bit on edge so he put his hand on her shoulder.

“ _Really,_ it’s okay.” 

She looked up at him and smiled.

“Well, well, well, Remus. Now I know why I liked you so much.” Marlene said, fully joining the two. “Hi, I’m Marlene and I’m a raging lesbian.” She introduced, putting her hand forward for both Mary and Remus to shake. 

Mary laughed and replied, “Hi I’m Mary and not gonna lie, I’m a bit of a slag.” 

That caused Marlene and Remus to crack up in tears of laughter. 

“Hi I’m Remus and I just really love giant co-” 

“Alright alright, let’s reduce any discussion about the male anatomy to a zero when I’m around alright, _hot stuff?”_ Marlene cringed but soon smiled at the way both of her new friends rolled their eyes at Remus’ nickname.

“You’re never gonna let me live that one down are you?” Mary asked.

“Absolutely not. Come on Remus, I just thought of the best song we can duet to.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Remus and Marlene finished their rendition of _Hot Stuff, (Really, Marlene?)_ She was ready to dance by herself and chose _Call Me._ (“It’s my anthem, I was always going to choose it!”) James was sulking in the deckchair, nursing his cup of Marlene’s Magic Mix as Lily laughed at him, giving him ideas for his date with Snape. Mary and Peter were discussing economics, the subject they both had taken, and Dorcas had said a farewell and taken herself back to her room. 

Remus smiled, sat on the kitchen island with his portion of Marlene’s Magic Mix, his legs feeling wobbly from the amount he had drunk. He almost didn’t notice Sirius jumping up to sit next to him. _Almost._

“So, _hot stuff_ huh?” Sirius said cheekily, bumping his shoulder against Remus’. 

“Ha, yeah apparently. I really hope that’s not my nickname for the rest of time.”

“Well, first of all, _yes,_ yes you _are_ and secondly, I have a feeling it may stick- unless something else arises.”

Remus blushed at the compliment, shaking his head.

“I mean, my friends at home call me Re, or sometimes Rem- you guys can use that too, not sure _hot stuff_ would go down well trying to find each other in a bar or something- or if my parents hear you over the phone.” 

“Rem. I like it, but I am _definitely_ finding something else.” Sirius smirked. 

_Oh god- he said my name- not even my name- my nickname- it sounds so cute when he says it- why is he looking at me like that?! Oh god this can’t be happening-_

“So, gay, huh?” Sirius whispered.

“Hm? Oh- um-”

“Don’t worry, we all heard you scream it from the top of your lungs earlier.” He chuckled, nervously, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Ah, yeah I was a little panicked at the prospect of having my first heterosexual kiss.”

“You’ve never kissed a girl?” Sirius asked in shock.

“Well- I mean, I like _guys,_ Sirius, so… no?” 

“Oh of course, sorry, it’s just-” Sirius raked his eyes over Remus’ form. “Er- nevermind. How did you know?”

“That I was gay?” Remus continued after seeing Sirius’ shy nod. “Er, well, when my classmates in Year 9 kept commenting on Mrs Ravenclaw’s arse, but all I could contribute to the conversation was that I liked her scarf, and proceeded to daydream of Mr Dumbledore’s arse bent over the desk in front of me.” He said, matter-of-factly, smiling inwardly as he saw Sirius scrunch his nose up in a delightful cackle. 

“Oh, so this Dumbeldore fellow had a gorgeous arse now did he?” 

“Oh so plump and oh so round.” Remus replied sarcastically putting his hand over his forehead in a dramatic pose.

Sirius laughed again, in unison to Remus’ chuckles. They both silenced fairly quickly, watching their legs kicking in midair. 

“Have you, er- had a relationship?”

“I did. But I also live in a small village in Wales so no one else was really _gay._ But yeah, I had a few encounters with some guys who were questioning, and I had a boyfriend for 7 months. In secret, of course. He broke up with me because his parents found out and he insisted he was straight. He started dating some girl the day after.” Remus explained, looking at his feet with a sad smile.

“What a dick.” 

“Ha! Yeah I suppose, but I don’t blame him, it was difficult, for the both of us. Bounced back quite quickly when our college had French exchange students and one snogged me behind the bike sheds. Oh, did we have some fun.” 

“Alright, don’t get a hard-on thinking of your French boy will you.” Sirius sniggered, raising his hands up in surrender.

“Ah, but he had such wonderful lips.”

“...You’re talking about snogging behind the bike sheds still right?”

Remus only looked at Sirius and winked. Where the surge of confidence came from he did not know ( _Probably Marlene’s murderous concoction.)_

“I’m part French!” Sirius blurted out, immediately widening his eyes and looking away from Remus’ stare.

_Well shit._ Remus told himself in his head. _May as well just die_ _now. Fucking French? Really?_

“Oh! Mum or dad?” Remus chose to say, trying hard to sound unaffected by this new and, quite frankly, _arousing,_ information.

“Er- dad. Yeah, I’m actually studying French with modern Arabic.”

“Ah, that’s really, er, really-”

_Sexy? Hot? Alluring?_

“Well, it gets all the ladies.” Sirius strained, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter.

Remus went cold. A tickle of embarrassment rested at the back of his neck and he tried to scratch it away.

“Er, yeah. I’m sure.” He muttered. 

They both sat in awkward silence, longingly looking towards the others who were engaged in another dance. 

“ _Mon loup_.” Sirius whispered.

“What?”

“ _Mon loup._ My wolf in French.”

_“Oh mon loup, You’re about to get absolutely wrecked.”_

Remus held back a whimper remembering the words the man next to him had said earlier and looked back to Sirius, who looked almost _sad._

“I think that should be your nickname for me to use. Your name is very wolf-like.”

“Ha, yeah- My dad is called Lyall too. Old Norse for wolf. Think he finds it funny.” Remus said, not really present as his mind kept rushing over the fact that Sirius had called him _his_ wolf.

“That’s pretty impressive. You know, we’re quite similar, my name-” 

“Dog star, yeah.”

“You know your constellations, do you Remus Lupin? You truly are a wonder.” 

“Hm. I wouldn’t say that. Maybe I could call you _Star_ or something.” He mumbled, not even sure at this point if what he was saying was coherent. 

“A wolf and a star-”

“Feel like there’s a joke somewhere in there-”

“I was gonna say something more like fate. Do you believe in fate, _mon loup?”_ Sirius asked, staring into Remus’ eyes so intently, that Remus felt like he couldn’t reply otherwise he would break something, or he would say or do something so stupid he would never be looked at the same way again. 

They stayed staring at each other for what felt like a _lifetime._ Remus could have sworn Sirius could actually _hear_ his heart beating frantically in his chest; it was beating that hard. 

_No, Remus, he’s straight. Turn away, turn away now._

As it happened, it turns out he simply _couldn’t._ He was drowning in Sirius’ black-rimmed blue-grey eyes. The more he tried to look away, the more his attraction betrayed him, and he felt himself falling further and further into the dark abyss, the only light he could see were beautiful _blue-grey._

_Beautiful blue-grey who would never see Remus the same way Remus could see him._

“Guyyyyssssss! You guys need to dance! You haven’t duetted yet and you’re both the best at this game!” Mary called to them, slurring a little on her words. She had just duetted Marlene to _Jump in Line_ and judging by the smirk on Marlene’s face, she lost.

“I think you need to reconsider who is the best, Mary love, and also consider sitting down and switching to water.” James added.

“Well the best certainly isn’t you is it?” Lily jested. 

“We can agree to disagree.” 

“We all disagree, James.” Marlene sighed flopping down on the sofa.

“Didn’t I tell you he lacked the hips?” Sirius raised his voice, standing up. “Remus and I are doing _Rasputin_ as discussed earlier in the evening.” To that, everyone ‘ooh’-ed, causing enough of a distraction that they didn’t notice Sirius lean to Remus’ ear and whisper: “Come on, _mon loup.”_ and step back to see Remus shiver… and _fucking bite his lip_ with a hungry gaze that lingered _far too long_ on his lips, before swaying his hips _purposely_ towards the Wii. 

_What the FUCK was he doing?!_

Remus let out some sort of strangled noise and began the treacherous walk towards the Wii. He was in some sort of daze as he took a spare remote from the little table next to Peter. 

“Please thrash him for us, Remus? We’re all counting on you to make sure we don’t hear Sirius’ god awful boasting for the rest of the week.” Peter begged.

“ _Year.”_ James shivered, sitting up and leaning on his knees as if the dance was the most exciting thing in the world. 

“ _Decade.”_ Marlene supplied.

“ _Century”_ Lily piped in.

“ _Mileni-”_

“Alright! Alright, he gets it guys, _jeez.”_ Sirius interrupted Mary with a snarl. 

“Ah, he didn’t mean to snap, Mary, he’s in the _zone.”_ James comforted with a hand gesture resembling a rainbow, seeing Mary’s face drop.

“Yes, yes I am, I’m gonna win my drink off Remus Lupin even if it kills me.”

Before anyone replied, Sirius pressed the A button on _Rasputin_ and everyone went silent, not daring to distract the two who turned to their left, arms crossed for the beginning of the song- the pose clearly memorised by practice and Lily tried not to snort with laughter at the sight.

Drums began to echo the room and the two boys switched between clapping and crossing their arms together. Remus was to Sirius’ left, so he could see his tense shoulders and fought the urge just to _touch them_ to _calm him the fuck down because it was only a game of Just Dance for fucks sake!_

But maybe it wasn’t the game Sirius was so worried about? Surely no one was this serious ( _haha serious!)_ over a game? It had to be something else, and it surely could not be the bet they made because either way it meant they were going to have a drink together- _Oh shit! He was going to have a drink with Sirius Black!-_ and Sirius made it clear he was straight… until he straight up _flirted_ with Remus before coming to dance? Unless he was imagining it. _No._ He _was_ imagining it because there was _no way_ an adonis of the likes of _Sirius Black_ wanted someone like him. Someone who wore old jumpers and preferred to stay in and read a book over go outside and share a cigarette. Someone who was ill on the regular. Someone who was too tall, had messy hair, had scars and freckles and didn’t work out and- He felt a pang somewhere inside him and pushed it away. _Not tonight._ He thought. _Not ever._

The dance moved on to having their arms straightened like a plane, fingers wiggling and hopping from foot to foot. He tried his best to just focus on the screen, but every few seconds he checked on Sirius, his face stern in concentration. 

The Russian man on the screen began to crouch a little, kicking his legs outwards and making ‘L’ shapes with his arms at the same time to the rhythmic “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!” of the song. 

And that led to Remus smirking as he watched Sirius doing a half-assed attempt at the classic Russian dance of squatting and coming back up with raised arms- something Remus had _mastered._

When he started doing it, he heard James mutter: “I don’t fucking believe it.” As Marlene let out a gasping laugh. Even Sirius looked at him with wide eyes- not noticing ‘Funky’ (“ _I obviously have to choose Funky, I am the most funk!” “Nah, you should have picked Noisy, mate.”)_ receiving a crusade of crosses, as ‘Jumpy’ ( _“After your performance, you have to be Jumpy. No arguments.”)_ hit plenty of ‘Good!’s and even a handful of ‘Perfect!’s. 

The violin commenced and Remus threw himself -with way too much energy- into it, feeling slightly light-headed. Sirius elegantly played the air-violin, even angling his neck to make it seem he was holding one. 

_There lived a certain man_

_From Russia long ago_

They bent their arms towards their heads, before crashing them back down to their sides.

_He was big and strong_

_And his eyes a flaming glow_

They stepped side to side with their arms pumping up and down by their heads. 

_Some people looked at him_

_With terror and with fear_

_But to Moscow chicks_

_He was such a lovely dear_

They repeated the same two moves again, gradually gaining more confidence. Remus found himself to be clunky in his movements, but Sirius was dancing with grace, which felt weird to think over a game of Just Dance 2 under the influence of a lot of alcohol. 

_He could preach_

_The bible like a preacher_

The move was simple, prance to the left with your arms guiding the way, however, it seemed as though Sirius _had_ been practising and begun the motion before it even came up, able to sway to the right soon after, not caring that he had just knocked into Remus. He stumbled a little bit, Marlene shrieking: “Don’t you _dare_ fall on me, Lupin! I’m too young to die!” and he looked at Sirius, who had begun marching as the next lyrics sung through the room.

_Full of ecstasy and fire_

He was prepared for the move this time, noticing Sirius wink at him. 

“Two can play at foul play, Mr Lupin.” He shouted over the song. 

He only scowled in return. 

_But he also_

_Was the kind of teacher_

_Women would desire_

_Ra-Ra-Rasputin_

_Lover of the Russian Queen_

_There was a cat that really was gone_

_Ra-Ra-Rasputin_

_Russia’s greatest love machine_

_It was a shame_

_How he carried on_

The chorus ricocheted through the room as the men bounced from one foot to the other, arms forming in a ‘C’ shape and switching to its inverted doppelganger. Remus noticed how Sirius shook his head at the same point as the animated character did; he found it quite cute but, ultimately, grinned at how much of a waste of time it was. The group were quiet, save from the loud stomping on the ground and occasional gasps of shock and interest from watching the score bars rise, and catch up with each other. 

The dance continued, the same moves coming up that Remus was prepared for without having a cocky Sirius laugh or smile at him- _or fucking wink at him that was not allowed to happen again._ The scores were fairly close, With Sirius just ahead, and Remus felt a fire of determination deep within the pits of his stomach. The mission was to win, the method was to distract Sirius as much as possible. He felt a mischievous grin elate his face as he briefly turned to James who mirrored the same look. 

Clearing his throat, James began to _yell_ at the top of his lungs, the lyrics that came on the screen. 

_But when his drinking_

_And lusting_

_And hunger for power_

_Became known to more_

At that moment, Remus knew to trust James with his _life-_ but maybe not trust him in his accents… but the horrid sheerness of his voice made Sirius snap his head at him. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Shut up!” 

The animated Russian was hitting his head slowly, alternating hands, as his knees bent to lead the two men to the ground, Sirius slightly behind, receiving an ‘Ok.’ whilst Remus inwardly cheered at his ‘Perfect!’

James didn’t back down, igniting the others to join in. 

_The demands to do something_

_About this outrageous man_

_Became louder and louder!_

Remus alternated his balance between his two palms as he kicked his legs. It was a complicated flurry of limbs, but seeing Sirius fall directly on his arse made the ‘Perfect!’s more satisfying. 

The “Hey!” section came up again, and Remus did what he did before, James laughing in disbelief and Sirius, again, half-assing the job next to him with his eyebrows furrowed with focus. 

There was repetition of the same dances again, this time Remus was overflowing with confidence as his bar moved to five stars whilst Sirius’ was left behind at four. 

_He drank it all and said_

_“I feel fine”_

Remus jumped in the air with his arms outstretched, collecting a gold ‘ _yeah!’_ for his star move- seeing Sirius staying put on the floor, facing him with his arms crossed. At first, Remus thought he was angry, but the large toothy grin told him otherwise. 

The song faded in the background and _everyone_ in the room ran up to the winner hugging him tightly and jumping as one weird mesh of human. He couldn’t stop smiling at their ridiculous cheering and hollering, but his eyes focussed on Sirius’ who had his hand stretched forward. He took it and they shook them. 

“You won not so fair, but surely square. A drink is _certainly_ on me.”

“I look forward to it.” 

  
  
  
  



	2. Sweet Transvestite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween night and Remus hasn't got anything to wear so Sirius helps out - James has bad timing but is a good friend
> 
> TW: Mentions of homophobic violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Chapter 2! I'm feeling quite confident in this fic so I'm hoping to update every week:)  
> As always, thank you Shay (winterscaptsam) for your help with this one!  
> I have a playlist going of all the songs used in the fic- you can find it here:  
> https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgM2Opou2_SKff4hGUBjf58PcvHWdHjC1 or search: Legato (captain_lupin_x) on youtube.  
> And again, if any of you think of any songs that could be used, let me know in the comments and I'll see if I can fit it in anywhere/in a one shot! I have a few one shot ideas already and would love to make a little series on the side to 'fill in the gaps' if you will:)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Please leave kudos and comments :) -captain_lupin_x

CHAPTER TWO- _Sweet Transvestite_

_“In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”_

**TW: Mentions of homophobic violence**

First year Halloween came around quite quickly. Thankfully, the group of eight friends decided to spend it together after ‘reading week’ ( _a chance to go home for a bit and panic upon coming back to university and not having done any of the reading set)_ and even more thankfully, Halloween was on a _fucking Friday._ Remus’ first-ever reading week was cut off abruptly with the desire to - long story short- get absolutely pissed with his friends dressed in a weird costume. 

Which was one of the problems he had with this day.

Everyone seemed to know who and what they were going as, Mary going as a _sexy_ scientist, and Peter joining her by going as a regular one, despite Sirius practically _begging_ him to get matching stockings. 

_\---“Come on, Pete, you’ll look so sexy, you’re a catch, mate!”_

_“Sirius Black, I swear to all that’s holy if you don’t shut your face-”_

_“MARY! WOULDN’T PETE LOOK SEXY IN STOCKINGS AND FISHNETS?!”_

_“I would_ pay _to see it!”_

_“You guys suck.”---_

Lily, Dorcas and Marlene decided to go as three of the spice girls. Lily opting for the classic Union Jack dress worn by _Ginger Spice,_ Dorcas choosing _Posh Spice,_ dressing in all black and committing to the look with a permanent pout which she found hard to maintain, because James had decided to go as David Beckham. He had an England kit, and even bought a wig for the evening, which everyone found hilarious. Marlene had decided on _Scary Spice_ from the _Wannabe_ music video, her bright green tank top complimenting the shade of her skin, even though she claimed she would never wear it again. 

Sirius kept his a secret, claiming he had a big surprise lined up at the bar they were going to go to for the evening- _The Three Broomsticks._

_\---“How big of a surprise? Like what could be surprising?”_

_“James, you will have to find out, that’s the whole point of a surprise.”_

_“But I wanna knowwwww!”_

_“Alexa? What is the meaning of surprise?”_

_“An unexpected or astonishing event or act.”_

_“Thanks, Alexa- at least someone has sense.”---_

As Remus fretted to what Sirius could surprise him with at this point- _honestly the guy is literally a God. I can’t cope-_ He fiddled through his wardrobe trying to find something to wear the day before Halloween. 

When he was in Wales with his parents during reading week, he looked in his old wardrobe there too- with no avail.

_\---“Sweetheart, what about that skeleton onesie you wore to that other party? I think we still have it in the attic.”_ His mother had said to a stressed Remus, laying down on his bed with piles of clothes suffocating him. 

“ _Ma, I wore that when I was 15.”_

_“And it looked lovely!”_

_“I was also just under 6 foot when I was 15, and I’ve certainly put on weight since then- no thanks to your chocolate cake.”_

_“Oh darling, to me you’re still that little chubby baby with gorgeous blue eyes.”_ His mother had cooed, laying down next to her son and smothering him with kisses.

“ _Okay okay!”_ He had laughed, halting his mother’s affection. “ _It’s a hard pass on the skeleton onesie, mum. Don’t worry, I’ll find something back in the halls.”_

_“Okay, sweetheart.”_ She had said, amused at her flustered son. She walked out of the door but peered her head in before she went the journey of walking down the stairs. _“Oh, and Remus?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“We have chocolate cake for dessert.”---_

Maybe he should have just taken the skeleton onesie and cut the legs off? Who was he kidding that would have looked terrible. He slumped on the single bed, rubbing the side of his temples. His last migraine was back in the summer and he _begged_ for it to stay away as the beginnings of throbs hit the left side of his head.

Wandering into the kitchen, he had to adjust to the bright white light. _Just get your tablets, Remus. You caught it early. Get your tablets and get out again._

He realised he should probably keep his migraine tablets in his room from now on because the stupid white light in the kitchen was so intense and hyperbolic it had to be fake. He poured himself a glass of water and gulped down the tablets, feeling a sense of relief. 

“You alright, _mon loup?”_

And relief flicked to a rapidly beating heart within a _second_. 

Sirius walked into the common room like he belonged. His hair was wet and plastered to his face, and his clothes were practically _dripping_ on to the floor. He was wearing his favourite Queen t-shirt and black ripped jeans, complemented with a black leather jacket that he seemed to never take off and Remus _hated_ him for it. ( _Okay, he_ loved _him in it and that’s why he hated him for it._ ) 

“Yeah, yeah, just got a bit of a headache, is all.” Remus replied.

“Oh! We can’t have that!” Sirius said with worry, dropping his shopping bags where they were and storming up to Remus, placing a wet hand to his forehead. 

Remus stilled with wide eyes, feeling Sirius flip his hand over. _Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shi-_

“Yeah, your head’s quite hot, mate. Then again, my hands are _freezing_ and my fingers may drop off with frostbite any second now.” He complained with a light chuckle but didn’t move from his close proximity of Remus.

“Where have you been out in the rain with no coat on?” Remus mothered, which caused Sirius to roll his eyes.

“Oh don’t you start too, don’t think I haven’t been noticing a collection of hoodies appearing outside my door ever since I went on that run with James with a tank top and shorts on. You two are planning something and it’s _killing_ my reputation of good fashion may I add.” 

“Just don’t want you to die, Sirius.” Remus sighed, wincing as his head decided to throb again. Instinctively, he raised his hand to press against the part of his head giving him pain.

“Holy shit! You really in that much pain, mate?” Sirius asked with wide eyes, batting Remus’ hand away and taking over with the light massage. “You sure you haven’t got a migraine or something?”

Remus let out a cold laugh.

“Well yes, I think it is, seeing as I suffer with them chronically and they’ve stayed away whilst being here and _of course_ one wants to just show up when I have _plans._ Plans of which, I don’t know _what_ I’m doing- I can’t find a costume- I have nothing and yes! Yes, I’ve left it last minute I am very much well aware- but I didn’t want help; I thought I had something and my mum suggested this _stupid_ costume I wore _three fucking years ago_ but it’s so tight and stupid and I’m stupid and I just want this year to _fucking_ end.” 

Sirius stared at him in silence, fingers still circling the point on his head. Remus started to calm down from his hysteria and immediately felt a wave of humiliation. 

“I’m sorr-”

“What kind of costume did your mum want you to wear?”

“I- What?”

“What costume is it?” 

“I- Well, a _skeleton_ but-”

“Oh, fucking hell.” Sirius huffed, but his eyes lit up with humour. “No _wonder_ you couldn’t find anything! Right, come with me, we are gonna find something in _my_ wardrobe.”

“Wait- I can’t let you do that!”

“Well you’re not finding anything in yours, are you? Unless you want to go as a librarian?” Sirius said knowingly.

Remus only nodded in response. Sirius took his hand from his head and gripped onto Remus’. 

_Shit, shit, shit- Oh god his hands are fucking freezing! He can’t feel my pulse can he? Feel like that’s something he would be able to do. Are my hands sweating? They’re totally shaking oh my god-_

“Come on, _mon loup,_ to style central we go!”

He didn’t let go. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Remus had noticed about Sirius Black was that whenever he entered a room, _he fucking entered the room._ His presence was intoxicating and it was hard to not pay attention to his big personality when he did. So when Sirius flung open the door to his room and practically _threw_ his bags in the general direction of his desk, Remus felt out of place and instantly halted by the door as Sirius heaved his wardrobe open with a dramatic sigh.

“So what are we going for then?” He asked, the sounds of hangers scraping against the metal pole of his wardrobe making Remus cringe and hold the palms of his hands over his ears for safety.

“I- I don’t know.” Remus muttered.

He was really feeling out of his element. The initial stress of Halloween, on top of his potentially worsening migraine, and now he was in Sirius Black’s room.

“Aha!” Sirius cheered, pulling out an all-in-one blue leather suit, flared at the legs, fringe at the chest, glittered and starred.

“What the actual fuck is that and what is it doing in your wardrobe.” If Remus was in his right mind, he probably would have laughed, but his questioning came out rather sharply, which made Sirius hug the clothing in defence.

“ABBA? Hello?” 

“Sirius- You know I can’t-”

“Yeah, I know. Worth a shot though, I would pay _big_ money to see Remus fucking Lupin wear something like this.” Sirius chuckled, haphazardly throwing the garment on the floor as Remus tensed. _Was he really the ‘boring one’ of the group?_

His head throbbed again, the pain duller than what it was before, but, nevertheless painful. His brain was racing too as Sirius took a step back and pondered his wardrobe. He looked at the man, still _soaking_ wet from the rain, doing something so unimportant for him, surrounded by colourful clothing. His eyes kept pacing through his collection, and his dark hair (made darker with the rain) contrasted them. He was truly a sight, and then there was Remus. He was _boring._ That much was made clear. _Why can’t I be a member of ABBA for the evening? Even better, why can’t I just be me?_ He thought, his fingers fiddling with each other with anxiety. _Maybe I should just cancel, they don’t want me there, I’m not like them, I’ll never be like them, I’ll never be good enough for him- no,_ them. _Them. But also him- god fucking damn-_

“Remus?” 

“Hm?”

“I said, you have brown trousers don’t you?” Sirius asked, his eyebrows furrowed a little.

“Yeah, an _abundance.”_ Remus spat with self-depreciation, his arms hugging his torso. 

“Okay?” Sirius said, frowning. “Well, I have an idea, wanna change into them for a sec and we can try some ideas out?”

“Hm.” Remus responded, heading straight out of Sirius’ room and into his. 

He slammed the door to his room close and leant against it, letting out a choked sob. _Why was he getting so worked up over a Halloween outfit for fucks sake?_

Taking a big breath, he snatched a pair of brown trousers from his wardrobe and angrily exchanged them with his checkered pyjama trousers. _Oh, fucking hell. I have just been in Sirius Black’s room wearing pyjamas. This day couldn’t get any worse._

Apparently, it could. 

When Remus reentered, Sirius was holding the shirt he was wearing at the first Just Dance party. It was black and had fairly large flared sleeves, which wasn’t the issue; the issue was that it was slightly see-through. He remembered his blushing face when he realised how translucent the material was when Sirius was standing in front of him on the sofa- he could make out Sirius’ nipples and belly button, toned chest and the happy trail that led down to his-

“See? With this top and your trousers, we can make you into a pirate, laddie! _Arghhh!”_ Sirius was beaming with pride, Remus felt his throat constrict in fear. 

“It’s... um- see-through?” He tried, hoping Sirius thought this was him being boring.

“Remus.” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “Would you at least try it on? It might not be as bad as you think.”

He threw the shirt at Remus and he caught it with numb fingers. Noticing Remus still hadn’t moved, Sirius sighed, “I’ll even be chivalrous and turn around for you, alright? Gotta change anyways.” 

And he did- right in front of Remus, all the way to his boxer shorts. _Why isn’t he finding this a problem?_ Thought Remus as his shaking hands pulled himself out of his black pyjama top. _Right, he’s straight, he's used to getting changed in front of other guys without being stared at._ You’re _the problem, Remus, you always are._

He pulled the sheer fabric over his torso and hastily looked at the mirror. _Oh god no I can’t wear this, I can’t wear this, I can’t wear this I can’t wear-_

“Remus!” Sirius called in his ear, holding his shoulders and shaking him. 

It took a second to realise he was having a panic attack as his lungs refused to let him breathe, instead, only allowing him to wheeze and shake.

“Oh shit, okay, okay, come here, Remus? Sit down for me okay? Sit down on the bed. Okay good, good.” Sirius rambled. “Okay, lie down. That’s it! You’re doing so good. Relax, breathe in through the nose and out the mouth. Deep breaths, Remus, okay? Okay. I want you to focus on my face, don’t look anywhere else. Here, here’s a blanket.” He felt something warm wrapped around him. “Okay? And I know lavender helps, so I’ve put on my scented candle and I want you to tell me off for having candles in the dorm rooms in a minute because I know you’re a sucker for the rules.” Sirius laughed gently, stroking Remus’ hair. “Alright, Remus? Just keep focussing on my face and breathe. Well done.” 

After a few minutes of quiet encouragement, breathing, allowing the scent of lavender to relax him, the gentle strokes in his hair and piercing, warm grey eyes watching over him affectionately, he felt his limbs stop shaking and his breathing fall back into pattern, in sync with Sirius’. 

“You’re not allowed candles in the dorm rooms.” He croaked.

“Fuck off.” Sirius said softly, with a sweet smile on his face. 

Remus closed his eyes and smiled back in return. 

“You okay to sit up?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius pulled on his upper arms, steadying him in his seating position and wrapping the blanket around his shoulders tighter. 

“Okay?”

Remus only nodded as a wave of embarrassment hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes started to well up. 

“Hey, hey! It’s okay, don’t worry about it, it happens! Why do you think I have lavender scented candles in here?” Sirius assured, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, rubbing his arm.

“S-s-sorry, I’m so stu-pid. I- I can- go to m-my ro-om-” 

“Remus. Stop it. You can stay here. Just relax, please? For me? You’ve done nothing wrong.” 

After a few moments of gentle arm caresses and sniffling, Sirius asked, “What spurred that on?

“No reason.” Remus answered too quickly. 

Sirius shifted both him and Remus so they were both sat cross-legged on the bed facing each other. 

“Don’t give me that shit, Remus. _Something_ happened there. Is it about the costume? I’m sure no one would mind if you literally wore any of your clothes it _really_ doesn’t matter.”

Remus scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure you will all _love_ that. Boring Remus coming in his boring clothes.”

“What the fuck, Remus?” Sirius snapped. “Who said you were boring? _None_ of us has said nor think that so where are you getting that from?”

Remus cowered away, wrapping the blanket further around himself. Sirius’ face softened. 

“Listen. The whole point of our lives is to be ourselves right?”

“Well, it's to live and then eventually die after a life of misery really.”

“There he is.” Sirius lightly cheered, gripping on to his friend's knee. “But what I am trying to say is _fuck_ what other people think. If you prefer reading than dancing, then that’s absolutely fine. If you want to wear your own clothes to the pub, that is also, absolutely fine. Do whatever the fuck you want! Just _don’t_ think that we don’t want you around. You’re a really funny bloke - don’t know if you’ve noticed but my face practically hurts from smiling so hard when you’re around.”

_Likewise, Sirius. If only you knew._

Remus felt himself blush and he took the chance of looking at Sirius’ face. It was etched with mischief, but his eyes remained kind, thoughtful, _caring._

“I don’t like dressing up for Halloween, but I _want_ to this year, so thank you for putting up with me being a miserable asshole.”

Sirius frowned again. 

“That’s okay.” He hesitated. “But, Remus, if dressing up for Halloween is causing you to have a full-blown panic attack then really, don’t worry.”

He moved his hand from Remus’ knee and took his hand, lightly stroking across his knuckles. Remus withheld his gasp.

“No, no, it wasn’t that. The _migraine_ was probably that, but- it’s easier if I show you.” Remus said tightly, standing up on wobbly knees, focussing on the sound of Sirius’ abandoned hand hitting the duvet. 

With a deep breath, he took off the blanket and watched as Sirius scanned his eyes to Remus’ torso.

“Holy shit- what happened?” 

The see-through top was a little tighter on Remus than it was on Sirius so it left nothing for the imagination. Sirius was staring at different scars, littered across Remus’ stomach and chest. 

“Um, I- Well, you see- um-”

“Wait, wait wait, sorry- you don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry I forced you to try on the shirt in front of me, I was a dick.”

“Thanks, Sirius. But really, I want to tell you, I just- I’ve never _shown_ anyone before and I haven’t really _spoken_ about them either…” He trailed off when Sirius stood up and picked up the discarded blanket. He stood directly in front of Remus, so close he could smell the now-damp hair framing his face. With a quick smile, he reached for his hand and manoeuvred him to sit on the bed again. 

“Here.” Sirius said, flopping down next to him and putting the blanket over both of them. “Lie down again, you’ll be more relaxed.”

Remus decided that lying down under a blanket in Sirius Black’s room would probably be the _least_ relaxing thing he _could_ do, alas, he obliged, noticing that Sirius was lighting a cigarette.

“Sirius, you can’t smoke in here.” He sighed.

“I won’t tell if you won’t” He sassed back in return with a wink that caused butterflies to flutter in Remus’ stomach. 

He waited for the cigarette to start generating plumes of smoke before clearing his throat.

“Well, first I had my appendix removed when I was six.” He whispered, lightly tracing the scar that indicated the operation years ago. “And then they found a tumour in my stomach when I was nine.” he moved his hand down. “And then a couple of years later, another one in my left lung.” He finished with clarity pointing to his chest. “Luckily they were removed when they were- because- well- “ He couldn’t finish.

“You found yourself in the hospital a lot as a child then?” Sirius asked, taking a drag of his cigarette. 

“Yeah. I was a very sickly child. Pneumonia three times, it’s not great, Sirius, that’s why I mother you at times.”

“Fuck, Re, I’m sorry- if I knew-”

“If you knew I had pneumonia as a child you would change up your wardrobe? We both know that’s not true, Sirius c’mon.” Remus tried to laugh but winced as the dull ache that remained at the back of his head protested at any movement he seemed to make.

“Well, you’re _right_ but I wouldn't have been so harsh.” Sirius said boldly, flicking ash in his makeshift ashtray (a ready salted pringle can) before widening his eyes, “Wait, should I be smoking in front of you? I’m not damaging your lungs that way am I?” 

Remus lightly laughed, mindful of his movements, his heart constricting at the worried expression on his friend’s face. “No, no. Don’t worry. I had pneumonia because of my terrible immune system, and the medications for the tumours didn’t exactly help either. My dad smokes like a chimney anyhow.” 

Sirius let out a sigh of relief, taking another drag. “Was gonna say, if I’ve been subtlety causing your demise for the last two months I wouldn’t forgive you.”

Remus giggled, and Sirius joined until they were both out of breath, thrown into an awkward silence.

“The surgeries- that’s not all the reason.” Remus whispered so quietly, he wasn’t sure Sirius heard him, until he felt a hand grip hold of his.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

Remus only shook his head.

“Remember the guy I told you about? The one I dated for seven months?” He continued when he heard Sirius hum. “Well, it wasn’t only his parents that didn’t know- his friends didn’t either.” He stopped, recalling the awful memory. 

“Remus?” Sirius asked after a while.

“Right, yeah, sorry- his friends didn’t know about us or that he was gay. I don’t even think _he’s_ accepted he’s gay, but hopefully one day… Anyways, his friends _did_ find out because his parents brought it to the school as if being _gay_ is against the rules; they were a strict Catholic family, went to church every morning and everything. I remember I was called to the headteacher’s office my last year of high school and _he_ was there, sat with his parents who looked so angry, and he was sat there looking as pale as a sheet. And I just remember thinking that it was over.” 

He sniffed, angling himself further under the blanket so he was in a tighter ball.

“I couldn’t be punished, of course, being gay wasn’t against the rules but his parents made sure he was in none of my classes, and the next day he was snogging Jenny Baxter in the middle of the canteen as his friends chanted around him. His eyes were open the entire time I _knew_ he wasn’t enjoying it, but it still broke my heart.”

“Well, of course, Remus. I’m sorry that happened to you, I can assure you, Jenny fucking Baxter was, and still is, a terrible snog. I’m sure you’re much better. I would’ve closed my eyes to make sure I didn’t see the cow.” Sirius argued, defensively.

Remus let out a strained laugh, keeping the ‘ _I’m sure I am too, wanna try it out?’_ in the back of his mind.

“Nah, she was the hottest girl in our school, I mean, apparently, how would I fucking know.” Sirius huffed at that, putting out his cigarette and turning to his side to look at Remus who stayed on his back.

“That whole school day was awful. _Clearly,_ everyone knew what happened. I was being stared at in lessons, and all the boys straight up avoided me as if I were gonna convert them or something. That day, the three guys before the one I was dating, told the school what we had done and how _desperate_ I was that I would give someone straight a handjob or something.”

“What the fuck? I thought you said they were questioning?”

“That’s what they told me, and they _were._ It was just easy to pin all their sexuality problems on _me_ because I was sure that I was gay, and now everyone knew it.” He grew quiet, the memories of the village he grew up in dissipating to the worst of them all. 

“What happened?” Sirius asked, softly, running the back of his hand up and down Remus’ arm in a feather-light touch. 

“His friends followed me home that day. And the next, and the next. They stayed as a group whilst I was alone; I was _always_ alone. They’d shout derogatory things, slurs, the lot. They even retold one of mine and my ex’s dates, one where I felt we could be it, y’know? One day I really couldn’t stick it and I told them to fuck off, and well-”

“And that’s how you got _scars,_ Remus? What the hell did they do to you?” Sirius sounded flabbergasted.

“Well, they hit me, a lot-”

“That wouldn’t leave scars like that, Re.” 

“No, you’re right. Some of them had keys in their hands or _something_ sharp, I don’t know, and they left me on the pavement. They’d broken my nose, split my lip and eyebrow open, and well, left a whole other mess on me. All because I was gay in a village where I shouldn’t have been.” 

“Remus… no, the village you used to live in are bigotted assholes. You’re a wonderful guy, and you said that those French exchange students were good right? Nothing else happened did it?”

“No, nothing physical. I went to a college outside of the village instead of the one that everyone went to inside of the village and everyone was supportive there thankfully. Just- when I go back home it’s a little bit hard having to walk the same streets where all that happened, and then coming here which is so lovely, so accepting, and having the idea of these stupid fucking scars being out there in a place where they don’t belong _kills_ me. It feels like I’m tainting the place you know?”

Sirius seemed to mull on this piece of information for a while, his hand ministrations not stopping. 

He sat up abruptly.

“No. You make this city, Remus. Whether you like it or not. I’m sure you have a waistcoat? If not I know Pete does, you can wear that over the top of the shirt, alright? And I can doll you up with some eyeliner- and my GCSE art teacher said I could make it so maybe I could draw something else. We are going to enjoy Halloween. As for the guys at home, fuck them. Fuck them completely. What are their names? I’ll fuck them. Not literally, but my family- they have connections, I could-”

Remus grabbed Sirius’ flailing arm as he rambled pulling him back down to a lying position. 

“As sweetly psychotic as that sounds, it’s fine, Sirius. It’s a while ago now and I am happy here. _Truly._ Plus, I’m sure if my parents would be terribly shocked if they find all my old friends scared to death because of me. Also- what the fuck do you mean by connections?”

“Just saying my family can be _influential._ Why would they be shocked? I’m surprised _they_ didn’t fuck them up!”

Remus looked away in shame.

“Oh, Re. You didn’t tell them, did you? They don’t know?”

Remus only shook his head, staring at the ceiling. 

“You didn’t tell them the classic of: _oh I walked into a lampost!_ Did you?”

“I used the: _I crashed my bike into a lampost_ actually, even though those guys stole my bike a week prior and I found it in the skip in front of the school. It was easier than telling them that their only child is gay.”

“Holy shit, Remus. You’re gonna tell them at some point though, right?”

Remus only shrugged and turned his head back to Sirius who was staring at him with determination. Their faces were so close that Remus could make out a wild freckle here and there on the man’s face, and the way his long dark eyelashes fluttered on his cheek. 

“Oh hey, I can see the ones on your face this close.” Sirius whispered, taking his hand and tracing his thumb along Remus' left eyebrow where the hair stopped growing due to the little slit of white line. 

He held his breath, completely aware as to how he was in Sirius Black’s bed, under a blanket, faces inches apart. Sirius brought his fingers down to the bridge of his nose, where another light scar lay, and then, finally, his thumb brushed a path down his cheek and on to his bottom lip, where the last of his facial scars were situated. 

“Sirius…” Remus breathed his name on to his thumb, and his eyes snapped to Remus’ rather than his apt attention to following his thumb. 

Remus had to remember to breathe when he saw the way Sirius’ pupils dilated and how the colour changed to a darker grey. He held in a whimper, instead, releasing a trembling breath when he felt the rest of Sirius’ fingers spread to cup his jaw, and his thumb pull his lip down, letting it flick back up when he left his thumb grazing on his chin. 

Sirius maintained eye contact, something Remus was always jealous about, himself usually opting to stare at the floor unsure of himself. Sirius was _always_ sure of himself. He was sure of himself now as he flicked his eyes once to Remus’ lips and leaning forward, hiding his beautiful stormy eyes away with his eyelids. Remus tried to breathe, he really did, but it came out shaky as _Sirius fucking Black’s nose_ rubbed against his. He closed his own eyes as he felt Sirius’ own shaky breath right against his lips- if he just leant forward _less than an inch-_

“Sirius! I notice my raincoat is outside my door when I _gave_ it to you today so you can avoid the fucking rain!” 

The two boys rolled apart, quickly, Remus so far that he fell to the floor, reaching for his pyjama top and rapidly pulling it over his head, arms pulling through easily, all in time for none other than James Potter to slam the door open, holding said raincoat in a tight grip.

“James! You can’t just walk into my room whenever you feel like it!” Sirius shouted, voice cracking a little bit.

“Well, I normally fucking do!” James shouted back, throwing his coat at Sirius’ head. “Wear your fucking coat. Remus! Tell Sirius to wear a coat outside in the pissing rain, will you? He’s gonna catch pneumonia or something.” 

Remus smiled briefly before a shoe flew past his vision and hit James directly in the stomach with an _oof._

“Get. out.” Sirius said with rage.

“Sirius.” Remus warned.

“What’s up your arse today?” James asked a lilt of a smile on his face and his eyes flicking between his two friends. 

“You, for fucks sake.” Sirius sighed, flopping on his back again.

“Well, I am flattered.” James deadpanned. He began staring at Remus, and he squirmed at his intense glare. “You, alright, mate?”

“Yeah, fine, James.”

He only squinted harder. 

“If you say so. I bought doughnuts, you guys want one? The girls and Pete are in the kitchen, what about a doughnut date?” 

Sirius, who had been evidently frustrated before James came in, leapt to his feet with a boyish grin. 

“Only if I get the pink sprinkled one.”

“Hurry up then, I saw Pete eyeing that motherfucker up.” James teased, slapping a running Sirius on the shoulder as he exited.

“What about you, Re? I made sure I got a chocolate filled one for you.” James asked, softly, clearly noticing something was wrong.

“Ah, no thanks, James. I think I’m just going to read a book in my room or something.” He replied, standing up and heading towards the door that Sirius left open, attempting to avoid James’ eyes. He really _did_ try, until James’ stopped him with a gentle hand on Remus’ chest

“If you wanna talk about anything, I’m also here for you, okay? Anything.” He said sincerely.

Remus nodded in return, quickly escaping the room and entering his own. He slid down the door on to the floor and held his head in his hands. 

_What a fucking weird day._

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**James:**

hey

**Sirius:**

_Hey_

**James:**

girls r still doing makeup.

Re looks cool with eyeliner.

**Sirius:**

_That’s what I thought!_

_u like the pirate ship I drew on his cheek?_

**James:**

looks like something my 5 yr old cousin draws at school lol

**Sirius:**

_Wow._

_My GCSE art teacher said I could make it as an artist u know._

_I don’t accept this slander James Potter._

_Miss McGonagall will be after ur ass I’ll tell you that._

**James:**

lol

I’m saving my ass for Lily Evans btw

**Sirius:**

_Ya we all know ur not exactly subtle._

**James:**

what’s the point?

gone off topic just wanna know how long you’ll be

**Sirius:**

_I told you to go to the pub without me that was the plan_

_Otherwise my surprise won’t be a surprise._

_Don’t you dare ask either, we asked Alexa remember?_

_The bitch knows all._

**James:**

I hate that thing.

yes still the plan just wanted to know when you’d be showing up.

Remus is very quiet today…

**Sirius:**

_Is he_

**James:**

yes… 

???

**Sirius:**

_What_

**James:**

I’m not an idiot Sirius

**Sirius:**

_Ya u are_

**James:**

fuck u. 

I’m just saying

I walked into something I shouldn’t have yesterday didn’t I

**Sirius:**

_Don’t know what you mean_

**James:**

k ur being the stupid one now

**Sirius:**

_I am wounded_

_Truly wounded_

_How can you be so horrid James._

_Ur insults hurt_

**James:**

fuck off. 

look is there something going on between u and Re?

**Sirius:**

_No._

**James:**

fine play dumb with me. 

u can talk to me tho bout anything k? 

**Sirius:**

_Ik James thanks._

_Re was upset yesterday that’s all it was._

**James:**

yh I noticed. He’s still quiet 

**Sirius:**

_Ah_

_Well it’s Halloween in a bar with lots of alcohol._

_I'm sure he’ll be fine in an hour or so._

_Don’t worry mum._

**James:**

haha

I am the mum aren’t I

funny I can’t even cook pasta

**Sirius:**

_Glad u can now admit that_

**James:**

I hate u 

**Sirius:**

_Love u too James xoxo_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Remus:**

This is the 5th time James has asked but

When are you getting here?

**Sirius:**

_Does James want to know or u ;)_

**Remus:**

James.

**Sirius:**

_oh_

_Ok_

_You’ll find out in a bit_

**Remus:**

Suppose this is where the surprise comes in

**Sirius:**

_Ya._

_It’s a big one_

_Trust me_

**Remus:**

Okay. See you in a bit then. 

What would you like to drink?

I’m going to the bar- 

My turn on rounds

**Sirius:**

_Ooh_

_Rose wine pls_

_Thanks_

**Remus:**

You’re welcome

**Sirius:**

_U text funny_

**Remus:**

What do you mean?

**Sirius:**

_Proper words_

_Capital letters_

_Punctuation_

_all sorts_

_It’s cute_

_ur cute :)_

**Remus:**

Right 

**Sirius:**

_???_

_U ok?_

**Remus:**

Yeah

**Sirius:**

_Migraine ok?_

**Remus:**

Think the tablets did the job no worries

**Sirius:**

_not my head massage and blanket then ;)_

_Re?_

_Hellloooooooooo_

_Remus_

_Fine :(_

_For what it's worth_

_We can cuddle under my blanket any time_

_Reeeemuuusssss_

k.

_U may wanna look towards stage in a bit_

**Remus:**

Sirius, you didn’t happen to organise something with Mr Flitwick, did you?

**Sirius:**

_Oh hello Remus_

_Nice of you to reply._

_Ya I did._

_Be patient mon loup_

**Remus:**

I don’t know what you want me to say really.

**Sirius:**

_Something a bit more than nothing?_

**Remus:**

…

Still have nothing

**Sirius:**

_dickhead_

_We will talk about it later_

_Soz thought the girls were gonna do their makeup alone_

_Woulda talked to u then_

**Remus:**

Okay

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus sauntered back to the group’s table with a tray of drinks, blushing when he saw a blonde man shoot him a wink.

“Right, let’s see if I can get this.” he stuck his tongue out in concentration, balancing the tray of drinks in one hand, as he handed each glass to a member of the group.

“Beer for James, Pete, and Marls. White for Mary, Rose for Lily and Sirius, fruity cider for Dorcas and a tall fucking glass of vodka Redbull for me.”

The group all cheered as Remus took a sarcastic bow and sat down.

“Who was that _spicy gentleman_ over there, hm?” Marlene quipped, a large grin on her face.

“Sirius said we should all look at the stage in a minute.” He said, ignoring Marlene and gouging everyone’s reaction. 

“Fucks sake.” Lily groaned. “I don’t know why we didn’t expect this.”

“Anyone know what he’s got planned?” Pete asked, gulping down half of his beer and letting out a belch.

“Charming.” Dorcas guffawed 

“No one knows what he’s going to do, Pete. Remember it’s a _surprise._ ” Marlene teased, laughing when she heard everyone groan

“ _Alexa, what’s the meaning of surprise?”_ James mimicked Sirius’ posh accent (terribly) whilst pretending to flick hair off of his shoulder. 

“It’d better be good after all of this shit I swear to God.” Lily groaned again. 

“My favourite students!” Said a voice from behind them. 

“Hello, Mr Flitwick!” They all called.

Mr Flitwick was the owner of the bar and he never seemed to have a day off. He was a small man with a toupee and crescent moon glasses. 

“Are you looking forward to your friend’s performance?”

“We don’t know anything about it! It’s a _surprise.”_ Mary replied for the gang, eyeing James with her final word causing him to mime putting a gun to his head.

“Ah, It’s a very good surprise I will tell you that.” Flitwick chuckled. “Anyways, here is a tray of tequila for you- it seems like one of you has an admirer.” He sounded excited as he put the tray of _way_ too many shots down. 

“Ooooh!” Mary squealed ruffling her hair.

“Oh not you dear.” Flitwick laughed. “Although you certainly do look stunning!” He added seeing her pout.

“Who then?” Dorcas asked. 

“Why, Mr Lupin here!” Flitwick cheered, slapping a hand at Remus’ back as he choked on his drink.

“ _What?!”_ He coughed.

“AYYYYYYY! Get in, Re!” Marlene practically screamed, giving him an unrequited high five.

“Calm down, Marlene, Jesus-” Remus muttered.

“Oh my god, who is it? Is it that dude who winked at you?” Marlene screeched, her head raised looking around the room.

“ _Marlene.”_

“Mr Lupin, it appears my bartender has had a little bit of a crush on you for the last couple of times you’ve all been in, he was sad he was on his break when you came to order drinks so he sent me over with these.” Flitwick supplied, taking the trays. “I best be off you lot. Be good now.” 

He walked off, and everyone’s attention followed the little man until he was talking to another man, tall and packed with muscle and-

A lot older than Remus.

He sighed, turning back around and reaching for a shot, not daring to look up at anyone’s face at this time.

“Cheers?” He asked, eyes focussed on the table and shot glass raised.

He felt a few clinks against his glass with a ricochet of monotone “Cheers.” back at him, before downing the shot. The burn felt good within his throat and he reached for his second, downing that one too whilst the others cringed and shook from their first.

“Christ, Re, calm down.” Lily croaked, taking a swig from her wine.

“You gonna go talk to him?” Dorcas asked.

“Holy shit- he ordered all these fucking shots- I _need_ to thank him don’t I?” Remus whined slamming his head on the table.

“Oh, Re. The absolute misfortune of having someone fancy you.” Marlene joked. “You’re _sooooo_ gonna pull tonight, _hot stuff._ ”

He looked up at her with a wince.

“Just get me pleasantly drunk before I do anything.” He groaned, taking another shot. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**James:**

m8 it’s been 1hr.

where r u

**Sirius:**

_I’m in a taxi rn so like 5 mins?_

_Why?_

_Everything okay?_

**James:**

yh

Except Re has an admirer

And he’s already shitfaced off tequila

**Sirius:**

_what????_

_U know Re and tequila don’t mix well!_

**James:**

I didn’t buy them

his admirer did

**Sirius:**

_Then don’t let him drink them!_

_Jesus christ James it’s like I’m the only one with sense_

**James:**

seem upset that someone likes Rem 

**Sirius:**

_Stop reaching into things_

_I’m upset cos ur not the one who will have to deal with him_

_Re and hangovers aren’t a pretty sight_

_Who is this admirer?_

_And why is he giving Re tequila shots?_

_Bit weird?_

**James:**

the big bartender

don’t think Re is interested 

so dw. 

**Sirius:**

_I’m not worried._

_Why would I be worried?_

_Just make sure he doesn’t drink anymore_

_You’ve been there an hour how has this happened_

**James:**

hm.

need alcohol to prepare for ur shit

**Sirius:**

_I’m here now._

_So look on stage._

_But also keep an eye on Rem._

**James:**

yes sir

both my boys have my eyes

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**Marlene:**

_Re is really drunk_

_We need to do something_

_Before Sirius comes_

**James:**

Sirius is here

look on stage

**Marlene:**

_fuck_

_Of course rocky horror tho_

_Are we surprised_

**James:**

nope.

**Marlene:**

_Remus is gonna flip shit_

_Ya know_

_When he takes the tray off his face_

**James:**

wdym?

**Marlene:**

_James, don’t do this_

_I know ur not stupid_

**James:**

Marllssssss

knew someone got me

**Marlene:**

_I will never get you_

**James:**

fair

but no I’m not stupid

they don’t wanna talk tho

can’t do anything

**Marlene:**

_ur a gd friend._

_Uhoh_

_Re has seen him_

_Better tell Lily to pull his jaw from the floor._

**James:**

ah Lily

**Marlene:**

_nope_

_Not me_

_Literally anyone else_

**James:**

k :)

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_How d’you do I_

_See you’ve met my_

_Faithful handyman_

Remus’ head shot up to look over the tray he was using a steering wheel. 

_He’s just a little brought down_

_Because when you knocked_

_He thought you were the candyman_

He felt his jaw drop and heard a snicker- _Marlene-_ as he watched Sirius- _Sirius_ dancing on stage with a microphone in hand. He was dressed in tight little leather shorts with fishnet garters. Following his trail down his long legs, he saw high heeled white shoes. His torso was barely covered with a lace-up corset and he wore his eyeliner, as always, except it was graced with blue eyeshadow and his lips were glossed with sinful red. 

_Fuuuuuckk._

“Like what you see, Rem?” Lily cackled, bumping his shoulder with her own.

_Ah, you said that out loud._

“That too.” 

“Fuck.” 

_Don't get strung out_

_By the way I look_

_Don't judge a book by its cover_

He knew Sirius could sing; he had often heard him lightly humming to himself when studying in the kitchen, or even loudly when he walked past his room. But _holy fucking shit_ was Sirius truly in his element, his voice was a melodic gravel and it came out his gorgeous smirking mouth with power that caught everyone's attention. At the moment, he was strutting around on the stage with no difficulty in his heels.

_I'm not much of a man_

_by the light of day_

_But by night I'm one hell of a lover_

And then he had lifted a heeled foot onto a speaker that lay on the floor and _thrust upwards_ gaining cheers and wolf whistles, a particularly loud one from James. It was unfair- completely and utterly unfair at how good he looked up there, and Remus was forced to only resign to watching, as the man who had graced his thoughts every waking moment of the day, sensually shook and thrust his hips in a bar in front of an audience of drunk men and women who _all_ looked at him with hunger in their eyes. Remus felt a growl of possessiveness in his throat but stopped abruptly when Sirius turned to face him, pointing. 

_I'm just a sweet transvestite_

_From Transexual, Transylvania_

_Let me show you around_

_Maybe play you a sound_

_You look like you're both pretty groovy_

_Shit! Shit shit shit-_ Sirius, after shaking his hips and slut dropping, began strutting towards the gang’s table, eyes fixed onto Remus.

_Or if you want something visual_

_That's not too abysmal_

_We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie_

Sirius unceremoniously plonked himself on Remus’ lap, wrapping a bare arm around his neck as the soundtrack in the background continued, the characters of Brad and Janet filling up the pub.

“What do you think then, _mon loup_? Good surprise?” Sirius murmured so Remus would be the only one who could hear. 

“H-m-si-ngh-” Was Remus’ pathetic, incoherent response.

Sirius knocked his head backwards and laughed and Remus thought he couldn’t look any more perfect if he tried.

“You’re adorable.” He said and brought the microphone to his lips again

_Well you got with a flat, well, how 'bout that?_

_Well, babies, don't you panic_

_By the light of the night it'll all seem alright_

He sang right into Remus’ face and booped his nose with a long elegant finger, painted with black nail polish. Remus let out a shuddered breath and shifted in his seat, begging for his body to _not_ betray him whilst Sirius was sat on him. 

Thankfully, he slid off-

_I’ll get you a satanic mechanic_

_Tragically,_ he went back to thrusting his hips, this time grinding them _right next to Remus’ face._

Even more tragically, Remus let out an embarrassing moan… which the entire table (and Sirius) heard.

Marlene and Dorcas were both hysterically laughing, gripping on to each other’s arms for support as Lily and Peter gave him a knowing smirk. James raised his eyebrow, then moved his gaze to Sirius who halted singing, which caused the crowd to cock their heads up to search for him. 

Remus really did try to keep his head down, face flushed with embarrassment and the alcohol soaring through his veins, he _really did_ try- but sensing Sirius _still_ standing next to him, and _still_ not singing the next verse, he chanced a coy glance through his fringe. 

Sirius was looking down at him with hooded eyes and a hitched breath. His eyes flicked between Remus’, not breaking contact. 

Remus’ stomach started to flutter… and then churn. He abruptly stood up and ran to the unisex toilets, emptying his stomach of the vodka and tequila he had devoured- a distant singing voice in the background:

_-bsession_

_I've been making a man_

_With blond hair and a tan_

_And he's good for relieving my... tension_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite_

_From Transexual, Transylvania_

_HIT IT, HIT IT!_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite._

_From Transexual, Transylvania_

_So - come up to the lab_

_And see what's on the slab_

_I see you shiver with antici- pation_

_But maybe the rain_

_Is really to blame_

_So I'll remove the cause._

_But not the symptom!_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus groaned into the toilet, spitting a few times; he felt like he was floating with his mind as foggy as it was. 

“Rem?” Came a voice from behind him.

He only groaned heaving again, but nothing came out.

“What a sight.” 

James leant down and sat on his backside against the toilet cubicle door. 

“You alright, mate?”

Remus shook his head.

“Sirius is proper worried about you.” James said with a smile, lightly kicking his foot into Remus’ knee.

“Nooooo.” He whined, resting his head on the toilet seat.

“Oh, Re.” James laughed sympathetically, standing up and helping Remus up by yanking him from under his arms. “Up you get!” He strained, “I think Marlene is heading back with Dorcas and Pete, I’m sure they’ll let you share their taxi.”

“Leaving already? We’ve only been here an hour?” Remus croaked, lolling his head onto James’ shoulder.

“Bless your little soul, Rem.” He chuckled, patting his head. “You’ve been in the bathroom for the past two hours, mate. We’ve been checking on you in shifts, Pete said you were asleep at one point, do you not remember?” 

_No._

“Hm.”

“Plus, it’s getting weird out there, Mary’s pulled some guy, and Sirius has-” James stopped himself.

“Sirius has what?” Remus asked weakly.

“Sirius has…” James started, fidgeting as he practically shoved Remus to the sinks, turning a tap on and throwing cold water in his face. “Sirius-um-” 

James didn’t need to continue as the door to the bathroom slammed open to reveal a busty blonde girl with-

Sirius attached to her lips.

Remus felt all the blood leave his face as he stared at the couple who had now noticed him and James.

“Er- Remus, you, um, feeling better?” Sirius asked, awkwardly, fingers twiddling on the girl’s waist as she looped her arms around his neck trying to pull him down for another kiss. 

Remus didn’t reply. He took one look at Sirius, his heart pinching and throbbing through his ribcage, and then to James who stared at the floor, shuffling his feet, before shoving past out of the bathroom. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“HELLO EVERYONE!” He screamed into the microphone.

He saw his friends on their table look up at him with alarmed expressions. He didn’t dare let his eyes linger towards the bathroom where he saw, in the corner of his eye, the man in a corset with a blonde girl at his hip.

“IF ANYONE IS GAY AND HORNY PLEASE COME SEE ME RIGHT NOW, I’LL BE BY THE BAR.”

Remus comically dropped the microphone to the floor, the screeching sound igniting groans around the room, and he stumbled towards the bar, practically shoving people out of the way, and collapsing into a bar stool. 

“Your strongest.” He said to Mr Flitwick, who looked at him with a stern gaze.

“Here.” Another bartender said, passing him an amber coloured liquid. “It’s my favourite.”

“How much?” Remus slurred.

“Ah, on the house.” 

Remus snapped his head to look at the bartender- he was the one who bought him all of the tequila. Up close, he could see that he had furry sideburns and almost _yellow_ eyes. His teeth were a bit jagged and wonky, too, and the way he smiled at Remus made him feel a little uneasy.

“Thanks.” He muttered, emptying the contents of his drink down his throat- relishing in the burn.

“Bad night?” The bartender asked as he started to wipe some glasses with a towel.

“Pfft.” Remus huffed, plonking his head on the bar.

“I’ll take that as a yes then?” The bartender laughed. It was horrible, like a sarcastic sneer, but when Remus looked up, his eyes were lit up and his smile was genuine.

“Yeah. Thanks for the shots earlier, by the way, you are?”

The man put down the glass he was holding and flung the towel over his shoulder. He extended his hand which Remus took.

“Fenrir Greyback. Though, people like to call me Fen.” 

“And what can I call you?” Remus asked in a hushed voice.

“Anything you like.” Fenrir replied, leaning in closer.

“OI LUPIN! I’M GAY AND HORNY!” 

He pulled his eyes away from Fenrir’s and saw Marlene parading towards him. He rolled his eyes.

“Not the right gay for me, Marls.” 

“Not the right gay for me either, Re! But you didn’t specify.” She cheered, looping an arm around his shoulder.

“Gerroff.” He mumbled, trying to wriggle out of her grasp.

“No can do, bucko! C’mon, me and Dorky are taking you home now.”

“Don’t wanna...” Remus whined like a child but allowed Marlene to stand him up. 

“I know, love, I know.” She said.

“Remus?” 

He turned to face Fenrir who had spoken.

“Yeah?”

“See you here soon?”

“Sure.”

Marlene started to pull Remus towards the door, holding him up. Somewhere in between, Dorcas and Peter joined in on the strenuous task of holding him up. 

“Jesus Christ, how did he get like this?” He heard Pete huff.

“Ask Mr I-now-wear-this-drunk-girl-as-a-handbag over there.” Dorcas replied.

He chanced a look.

Sirius was still with the girl from earlier; she gripped onto his arm, but he was in deep conversation with James, both boys frowning. He saw how the girl reached up on her tiptoes to Sirius’ ear and how Sirius blinked and turned to face her, disregarding James as he scooped her up into a sloppy kiss.

He whimpered at the sight, wishing it was _him_ that Sirius held tightly like that; _him_ that had Sirius on his lips; _him_ that felt the grinding of hips and the wall behind him. 

That’s as far as he could go though. Only wishing. Because Sirius was _straight._ He was a straight man who liked to cuddle him under a blanket and map out his scars with delicate fingers and look at him as if he was the only person in the room. He was a straight man who stroked his hair in passing and smiled brightly when he entered a room _and then_ openly admit it. He was a straight man who nearly kissed him. Who had nearly _fooled_ him. Remus felt bubbling anger rage within him as he realised he let it happen _again_ . He wasn’t some _fucking experiment_. Pushing Peter, Marlene and Dorcas away, he started to storm towards the bar- Fenrir in sight, when the blonde man who winked at him earlier stepped in front of his path.

“Get out of my way.” Remus hissed.

“Thought you wanted someone gay and horny?” The man flirted, placing a dainty tanned hand on Remus’ chest. 

Remus stilled, his eyes moving from Fenrir to the man in front of him.

“And are you those things?” Remus asked shortly.

“Depends if you are.” The man purred, wrapping both his arms around his neck and leaning in close.

“I am.” 

“We have so much in common.” 

The man closed the distance and Remus enthusiastically reciprocated, tongues finding each other easily and- obscenely- for the middle of a pub.

He heard someone clear their throat next to him. Opening one eye, he saw James.

“Alright?” Remus asked, pulling away a little, the man starting to plant wet kisses on his neck.

“I’m perfectly fine. How are you and-”

“Gilderoy.” The man moaned, rubbing his hands into Remus’ hair and gripping it.

“Yep, we’re just fine too. Thinking we should leave actually, I have a comfy bed. What do you say, Gilbert?”

“Gilderoy.” Both James and Gilderoy corrected.

Remus shrugged and slid his hands in Gilderoy’s back pockets.

“I would love that.” He beamed, his eyes fluttering closed at Remus’ ministrations.

“Great. Let’s get going then.” Remus ordered curtly, avoiding James’ pointed frown and dragging his one night stand out of the bar.

He didn’t notice Sirius watching after him, hair dripping wet from the drink that was thrown at his face- the blonde culprit storming in the other direction slurring something about how _all the good ones are gay._


	3. Hey Mickey!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James gets drunk... multiple times and the boys get their nicknames
> 
> TW: Mentions of homophobic and child abuse and struggles with sexuality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's chapter 3, sorry it took longer than a week to update, but here is 13k words to make you all feel better ;)  
> Thanks to Shay, (winterscaptsam) for supporting me :)  
> I am thinking of rewriting this series again but in Sirius' POV- but I would only do it if people are interested so let me know!  
> Also let me know of any songs you would like to see included and I'll try my best to fit them in here on in a one-shot series I have plans to make (again if there is a demand for it)  
> I also have a playlist which I will be updating with the songs used in the fic! You can have a listen here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgM2Opou2_SKff4hGUBjf58PcvHWdHjC1 or search: Legato (captain_lupin_x) on youtube. (If anyone has spotify and wants to make this a playlist on there let me know and I'll post that link too:) )
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos! I makes my day seeing them:)

**CHAPTER THREE- _Hey Mickey!_**

_“In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”_

TW: Mentions of child abuse/homophobic abuse and struggles with sexuality 

**_Lads Chat_ **

**Prongs:**

alright lads?

**Padfoot:**

_Yes Prongs my darling_

_Lovely to hear from u_

_AT 5 IN THE MORNING_

**Moony:**

_Wtf do you want, James_

**Padfoot:**

_You’ve made Moony use wtf James_

_You’ve broken him_

**Moony:**

_Fuck off it’s 5am_

_I have a lecture at 9_

**Prongs:**

soz moony!

I’ll make u a tea before u go?

I’ll even get up

may even throw in a cheeky choc biscuit

**Moony:**

_Hm_

**Prongs:**

:D

anyways

I have a gd idea

**Moony:**

_I can’t believe you woke me up for this_

**Padfoot:**

_YES!_

_I love Prongs’ ideas!_

_Unless it’s a Lily Evans idea…_

**Prongs:**

it’s about Lily Evans

**Padfoot:**

_Fucks sake James!_

_It's 5am!_

**Prongs:**

I couldn’t stop thinking bout her gorgeous face

**Padfoot:**

_Then have a wank!_

_Don’t message us_

**Moony:**

_As weirdly romantic as this is,_

_I don’t trust your ideas anymore_

_The last karaoke night at the bar didn’t go well, did it?_

**Padfoot:**

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

**Prongs:**

:(

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gang of eight sat at their regular table at _The Three Broomsticks_ on a Saturday night. Saturday nights were karaoke nights and Remus watched Gilderoy Lockhart sing _Milkshake_ by Kelis with flamboyance and narcissism. He cringed at the fact he had _slept_ with the man who was now groping his crotch on stage in a bar, and took a long drink from his cider. 

“Isn’t that the guy you took back to the dorms on Halloween?” Lily asked, also cringing.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Remus groaned, smacking his now-empty glass on the table and avoiding Sirius’ intense glare. 

“Bad shag?” Mary questioned.

Remus rolled his eyes again and stood up. 

“Anyone want another? I’ll pay.” 

“I’ll help carry.” James announced, standing next to Remus.

The boys made their way to the bar, drinks orders obtained. Reaching the bar, Remus placed his elbows on the surface and sighed into his hands.

“What’s up, mate?”

“Nothing really, I just feel _blegh_.”

James laughed, “You’re one with words, Lupin.”

“English Lit student and all that.” Remus retorted, standing up straight as Fenrir Greyback approached them.

“Ah! My favourite customer and his… friend.” He beamed, and then snarled towards James- but Remus probably imagined it.

“Hi, Fen- 2 ciders, double rum and coke, large rose and…” Remus looked to James who had a look of determination.

“Beer. and 10 shots of vodka.”

“ _10 shots of vodka?”_ Remus and Fenrir repeated in shock.

“Liquid courage.” James mumbled, fumbling in his pocket for cash.

Fenrir looked to Remus with a judgmental look, Remus only shrugged, bemused by his friend and Fenrir got to work.

“Liquid courage for what?”

“Karaoke.” James said simply as if the answer was _obvious._

“Uhoh, Prongs! None of us brought our noise-cancelling headphones!” Joked a voice behind the pair- Sirius Black’s voice to be precise.

Remus automatically tensed up, like he usually did when Sirius came near, the image of his face so close to his, then the next day attached to a girl’s etched in his memory.

James rolled his eyes.

“Very funny, _Padfoot.”_

The nicknames had begun the night of Halloween. Padfoot had been James’ idea when Sirius apparently snuck into his room drunk and naked- apart from his heels- which created such loud footsteps in the middle of the night that James was able to hear him from the other side of the corridor. So, the name stuck. Remus remembered, the morning after, leaving Gilderoy asleep in his bed, coming into the kitchen to James retelling the tale.

_\---“And then_ Padfoot _here comes in, and I’m surprised it’s him because of how loud he was! He comes in absolutely starkers! Dick out and everything!”_

_“James!”_ Sirius had hushed, seeing Remus enter with a bemused face.

_“No, No, let me finish! His dick is out and he’s only wearing those stupid heels and asks for a cuddle in this sweetest voice, like he was a little wounded animal so I couldn’t say no.”_ James had continued his tale, standing on the coffee table with the gang, sans Mary, sat around it, watching him with amused expressions. 

_“So why,_ Padfoot? _That seems like a reach, even for you.”_ Lily had commented, the amused expression shifting quickly to a forced scowl.

_“Well, apart from the sound of him walking down the corridor- which I am surprised that none of you heard- it was tragic- his little face looked like a lost puppy so there we go._ Padfoot. _Sounds nice doesn’t it?”_

_“You know what, it can be a_ guy _thing, I want no part.”_ Lily had replied, standing up to make her way to their kitchen, spotting Remus stood at the door. _“Oh hello there, Cap’n! Did you enjoy your pillaging and plundering?”_

Everyone had turned to face him, Marlene and Dorcas immediately snickering and James’ face falling, looking to Sirius who had begun to replay his lost puppy act.

_“Ahoy there, matey! Did you_ drop anchor _?”_ Marlene had teased, bursting with laughter when she saw that Remus had started blushing.

_“Oh, Captain! You aren’t_ harbouring _any_ stowaways _are you?”_ Dorcas had joined.

_“Ooh ooh! Me next! Um… something about swords!”_ Peter had added. He, Lily, Dorcas and Marlene were all rolling with laughter whilst Remus had blushed harder. Sirius’ face had become expressionless, and James had remained very quiet- puns usually being up his alley.

_“Did the other Pirate Captain cut off your ears in your last battle or are you just ignoring us on purpose? C’mon, Rem, we want details!”_ Marlene had eagerly asked.

_“Some of us don’t actually.”_ Sirius had mumbled, storming past Remus and into Room A, just as the door to Room B opened and a dishevelled Gilderoy made his way to the kitchen. Everyone remained silent. 

_“Who was walking about last night? I could barely sleep! Lack of sleep gives you pores and under-eye bags you know.”_ Gilderoy had whined, and Remus had frowned at him- as the others raised an eyebrow to Remus.

_“Padfoot.”_ He had whispered, turning to longingly stare down the corridor as Gilderoy had sat down next to a disgusted Marlene, dressed only in his tighty whities and one of Remus’ Shirts, all buttons undone, and had begun speaking about his skincare routine. Remus only mouthed a quick _‘sorry.’_ before running to his own room and slamming the door.

The next day, Remus and Lily were in charge of cooking, being the better chefs of the group, when Sirius randomly came up to them and showed them a picture of James on his phone.

_“Very nice?”_ Remus had said, looking at Sirius’ giddy face.

“ _This was him yesterday morning.”_

_“Okay?”_

_“Remus! Look! Look at his hair!”_

Remus leaned in to take a closer look, his breath stilling when he felt Sirius’ breath become laboured, the warm air hitting his neck. The picture of James in question, was the lad sleeping, his mouth wide open and drooling, and his hair-

_“Prongs!”_ Sirius had cheered, pointing to James’ hair, which, indeed, looked like antlers of a deer. 

_“So we are calling him Prongs then?”_ Remus asked, non-committedly. 

_“You guys are calling him Prongs. I want nothing to do with it.”_ Lily had interrupted angrily before softening quickly and saying, _”Re, sweetie, can you pass me the knife just there?”_

_“LILY EVANS WITH A KNIFE RUUUUUN!”_ Sirius had practically screamed and ran into the living room and dive-bombed on to the sofa. Remus had heard an “ _oof!”,_ assuming he had landed on James.

“ _Thought that would do it”_ Lily quipped, shooting Remus a wink.---

And that had begun the beginning of the boys’ nicknames. It had taken very well with Remus and Peter, who still didn’t have a nickname, and basked in the rolling eyes and embarrassed faces of the two others when they used them.

Remus looked at James suddenly.

“Wait. We do this karaoke every week _and_ we hear your god-awful singing all the time. What have you got planned, James?”

James only smirked and tapped his nose in time for Fenrir to return with drinks. James passed the cash over.

“Thanks, mate.” He said, reaching for the shots and taking them one by one.

Remus and Sirius shared a surprised look, watching as James began to groan in disgust by his fourth shot.

“You- you bought ten shots for _yourself?_ Let me have one you twat!” Sirius whined, reaching for a shot before James slapped his hand away.

“MINE!” He croaked, taking the next two shots and spluttering.

“Oh no, this screams of Lily Evans all over- James! She’s not interested! Please think about what you’re doing!” Remus begged.

“Nuh-uh! I have a good song in mind and I have the voice of an _angel,_ Rem! She’s gonna love it. Trust me.”

He finished his shots and shook his head in a shudder. 

“If you’re sick in my pub you’ll have to come back and clean it.” Fenrir growled, taking the shot glasses away.

“Don’t think that’s how it works.” Sirius growled back. 

“My pub, my rules.”

“It’s not your pub though, is it?”

“Flitwick isn’t here _din jävla idiot,_ so I’m in charge.” 

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Sirius boomed, pressing himself against the bar so he could be face to face with Fenrir. The other only looked down at him with a smirk, having a few inches on Sirius. “Don’t hide behind Swedish now, asshole. I would gladly insult you with all the French I have but I would much rather insult you in something you can understand you-”

“Okay!” Remus interrupted, pulling Sirius away slightly. “James, take him back will you?” 

James followed direction, taking the drinks with him. Remus turned to Fenrir with wide eyes.

“What the fuck was that about?” 

“Your friends are dicks, Remus.” Fenrir responded matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, well they’re my friends. There was no need for all of that.”

The two remained silent, keeping serious eye contact.

“He really likes you, you know.” Fenrir said, pointing his head to a sat-down Sirius.

“Really now.” Remus scoffed.

“Yes. He looks at you when you don’t realise. His eyes say it all. You do the same.”

“No- I-”

“It’s okay, I won’t say anything for now, just know that I also look at you when you aren’t looking at me. That boy over there- he sleeps with _girls,_ Remus. Not boys. Not you, never you.” Fenrir started, leaning forward and gripping Remus’ hand. “He may look at you the way he does but he won’t do anything about it. Take it from me, I’ve had my heart broken many times by people like him.”

Remus stared at a straw wrapper on the bar, heart beating frantically at the bartender’s words. Did Sirius really look at him as if he were something special? He could never look him in the eye _long enough_ to make a decision on that- his stare was always too sincere, too much for Remus to comprehend and deal with.

“Remus, darling, I know you’re hurting. Please, let me take some of that pain away. I, too, really like you and I don’t care about any consequences or anyone else. I only care about _you._ Let me take you out for dinner one night, you’ll see.”

Fenrir’s grip on his hand got tighter, almost bone-crunching, and Remus snatched his hand away, with a forced smile.

“Thanks, Fen. Maybe.” He said, simply before sauntering to slip into his seat next to Peter.

“-Absolute dickhead!” He heard Sirius finish, flopping back on his seat with his drink in hand.

“Re, you okay?” Lily asked, leaning over the table and touching his hand.

“Hm?” He responded, feeling as if he was in another dimension with the way his thoughts raced through his brain.

“You’ve gone incredibly pale- we aren’t having a repeat of Halloween, are we?”

He felt a stirring of anger tingle at the tip of his fingers and he braved a look to Sirius. His eyes were stormy blue, a deep frown etched on his features which softened as soon as eye contact was made. His eyes looked like a clear summer’s day and they swirled with so much affection that Remus almost began to believe Fenrir. 

“Re?” Lily kicked him in the shin, breaking the spell and breaking his _ridiculous_ thoughts.

“No I’m fine, probably got a cold coming that’s all.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Right then!” Marlene slapped her knees in excitement. “Who’s singing what then? Think me and Dorko are doing Islands in the Stream.” She reached for Dorcas’ hand.

That was a new development in their little friendship group. According to Marlene, she had wanted to ‘get into Dorcas Meadowes’ pants’ from the first day. She succeeded- but found so much more. The two girls grinned at each other, their eyes twinkling with something Remus was jealous of- but he was happy to see his two friends happy.

“Ooh! Who’s Dolly and who’s Kenny?” Mary cooed, stirring her cocktail.

“I’m Dolly, _obviously.”_ Dorcas said.

“ _Obviously.”_ Peter scoffed, sarcastically. 

“Fuck off, Pete. What are you singing this evening?” Marlene snapped, pulling Dorcas to her side.

“Nuh-uh. We made a pact. Me and Remus don’t sing karaoke unless it’s 1: We are too drunk-”

“2: We have lost a bet” Remus assisted.

“Or 3: someone needs a wingman.” 

Peter leaned in for a high five and Remus obliged with enthusiasm.

"Oh, it's Remus and _I-_ "

"Don't make me break the pact, Lupin."

“Okay, well I’m gonna go up now. Joan Jett is practically _screaming_ my name.” Lily announced, chair screeching across the floor when she stood up.

“Ahh, Lilyyyyy” James slurred, his position of lying over Sirius ( _When did that happen?_ ) altering to him flopping himself over the table.

Lily frowned with worry.

“What has he had to drink?” 

“Apart from the 10 shots of vodka at the bar?” Sirius asked innocently.

“ _10 shots of vodka?”_ Marlene, Mary and Dorcas all echoed.

“He did 4 shots of sambuca with me before we came out!” Marlene cried.

“Make that 5 because he bought me in one!” Peter added.

“Jesus fucking Christ he’s going to be so ill. Black! Please make sure you look after him.” Lily said, rolling her eyes before making her way to the microphone.

“Ah, look at her like a goddess walking on air. She cares about me, Padfoot! Did you hear that?” James mumbled onto the table before giving it a few kisses.

Peter began laughing and pulled his phone out to record him.

“Yes, Prongs. I think you’re in for a chance, mate.” Sirius quipped with a smirk, slapping James’ back, hard. 

“I wanna be her girlfriend. I’m gonna make her my boyfriend!” He near-screamed in response as Joan Jett’s _Bad Reputation_ filled the room, alongside the gang's giggles and Lily’s singing.

“I’m keeping my camera on all night, I don’t even care.” Peter wheezed as James put two fingers behind his head claiming he was Shrek. 

“Padfoot! I love you, man, you’re the Donkey to my Shrek.” James claimed, launching himself into a hug with Sirius.

“Sirius, James just said you look like an ass.” Remus deadpanned, finishing the last of his drink.

Sirius sarcastically laughed at him, throwing up a middle finger. 

“Reeeemmmussss! Padfoot has a lovely arse!”

“Thanks, James. Now, moving on-” 

“Halloween- when he came in like a sad puppy because you slept with someone else, he had no pants on, Remus did you know that?”

Remus stilled, looking to Sirius who had a red flush forming from his neck and he refused to look at Remus at all. 

“Reeeemmuussss!”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, he came in naked, you’ve told all of us.” Remus said, patting James’ knee under the table.

“Yeah! And he had such a lovely arse, ReRe the racing car. If I were gay I would hit that.” James winked at Sirius without subtlety, switching his vision between Remus and Sirius.

Remus only blinked at his two friends, his throat closing up. _What had Sirius said that night to James to make him say this?_ Something _really_ could have happened between them- it was obvious the day before Halloween, but Sirius had to go snogging some bimbo and Remus- well he supposed he was also to blame, finding the first man with any interest and sleeping with him out of jealousy and heartache. Memories of the night flashed before his eyes, how Sirius had helped him the day before, how they had nearly kissed, how Sirius flirted with him by text, how Sirius chose _his_ lap to sit in, how awkward it was when Sirius and him made eyes in the bathroom, how humiliating it was. How humiliating _all of it_ was. 

“Excuse me.” He coughed and excused himself to the bathroom. Not confident enough to turn his head to find Sirius’ eyes following him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Remus returned from splashing his face with cold water in the bathroom, as if it were going to erase his memory, James was stood up balancing multiple beer mats on his head.

“Remus! Remus! Look! I’m the leaning tower of Potter!” 

Remus only smiled in response watching how the others just ignored him- except for Peter who was still filming, and Sirius who wore an amused smirk. 

“Very nice, James.” Remus said, sitting in James’ currently free seat next to Sirius.

James seemed to notice the new seating arrangement and waggled his eyebrows atrociously at Sirius. 

“Oi oiiiii!” He yelled, pointing at the two boys. “Careful, ReRe the flower tot! Padfoot may get a hard-on with-”

“OKAY!” Sirius interrupted, clapping his hands. “Think it’s time to woo Evans with your karaoke choice now.”

“SHHHHH!” James stage-whispered, looking directly at Lily. “It’s meant to be a surprise!”

“I _can_ hear you, you know. What are you going to be embarrassing yourself with tonight then, Potter?” Lily asked with annoyance- a twinge of a grin on her face but Remus would never tell.

“Fucks sake guys! Who told her?” James whined, facing Remus and Sirius again.

“Sirius.” Remus said 

“Remus.” Sirius said.

“Donkey!” James cheered with a poor Eddie Murphy impression.

“Ah yes, back to the Shrek content. God tier.” Peter cackled.

“Pete, if you were in Shrek, you would be Lord Farquad.”

James had gained the attention of the whole group now and they all began to laugh.

“Why the _fuck_ would I be Lord Farquad?”

“Cos he’s small! You’re like a little mouse Pete! So squishy!” James mumbled, taking his fingers and pinching Peter’s cheeks.

“Alright, Potter- we all need our roles in a Shrek movie. Hand them out.” Peter replied, pushing him away.

“I’m Shrek cos I’m the main character,” James said, puffing out his chest. “And Lily is my Fiona and Pads is my Donkey.”

Lily rolled her eyes and Sirius beamed.

“And Mary you’re the stepsister!”

“Hey!” Mary said, offended.

“Have you not seen Shrek?! She puts out her leg to distract the guards and she has cracking legs! You have cra- LILY! COVER YOUR EARS! Mary, you have cracking legs.” James reassured plonking his leg on the table and stroking it. 

“I’ll accept that.” Mary giggled.

“Dorcas is one of those donkey dragon baby things”

“Things” Dorcas air quoted.

“And Marlene you’re _definitely_ the dragon- although stay away from Padfoot!”

“I am very much glad to stay away from Sirius, don't you worry.” Marlene laughed, pressing a kiss to Dorcas’ temple.

“Aww, but Marls! We would have the most beautiful babies!” Sirius whined, sarcastically, puckering his lips.

“I suddenly feel the need to throw up.” Marlene deadpanned.

“Remus is Puss in Boots. Have you _seen_ his eyes when Padfoot walks into a room? It’s practically the same look!”

Everyone widened their eyes to Remus choking on his drink. 

“I think it’s time we cut him off-” Sirius announced, shooting a strange look at Remus before Fenrir Greyback called on the microphone.

“We have James Potter with Boyfriend by Justin Bieber?”

Lily groaned as James shot her an exaggerated wink- and then proceeded to weave in and out of the tables, taking an unnecessarily long route towards the stage.

“THIS IS FOR MY BOO BEAR, LILY EVANS” 

_“Boo Bear?”_ Remus mouthed to Lily in question, to which she slammed her head on the table. 

_If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go_

_I can take you places you ain't never been before_

_Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know_

_I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow_

James began to sing in a ‘sexy whisper’ (It was really breathy- sounded like he was having an asthma attack, and it was a beat late.) 

“Wow, Lily you’re a lucky gal.” Marlene sniggered.

“I actually want to die.” Lily replied, her face stained with pain.

_Swag, swag, swag on you_

_Chillin by the fire while we eatin' fondue_

_I dunno about me but I know about you_

_So say hello to falsetto in three, two_

James had begun swaying with his knees bent, throwing up peace signs.

“I’m so glad I have no other friends that need the attention of my phone camera because James Potter saying _swag_ has been the highlight of my year.” Peter wheezed, phone out in front of his face.

“Everyone block your ears- falsetto is coming up.” Sirius warned. 

_I'd like to be everything you want_

_Hey girl, let me talk to you_

“Jesus Christ.” Remus said, wincing at James’ terrible singing 

“I want to die. Now.” Lily reiterated. “Marlene, Dorcas, Mary? You’re all wearing heels, aren’t you? Think if you step on me enough times I will die a painful death?” 

“I think listening to James long enough will warrant that don’t worry.” Remus offered, just as James started to unbutton his shirt whilst thrusting his hips manically.

_If I was your boyfriend, never let you go_

_Keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone_

_I can be a gentleman, anything you want_

_If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go,_

_I'd never let you go_

James’ voice faltered and broke hideously and there was a mutual groan through the whole bar.

“How long is this song again?” Mary asked, rubbing her temples.

“ _Too long.”_ Lily moaned, standing up. “Sirius, can I borrow one of your cigarettes? Gonna go smoke. Anyone come with?”

“Me.”

“Me.” 

“Me.” 

All the girls stood and left the bar as James spun around like an excited child at a party.

_Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don't_

_I could be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe_

_I don't never wanna fight yeah, you already know_

_I am 'ma a make you shine bright like you're-_

James stopped singing, earning a few sighs of relief from the customers in the bar.

“LILY WAIIIIITTTT!” He shouted through the microphone, seeing Lily and the girls by the door. Lily only stuck her middle finger up high in the air and left the building. 

“LILLLLLYYYYY!” 

And that was when James fell off the stage.

And then proceeded to throw up all over himself. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“She liked it didn’t she?” James slurred, hanging off of Remus’ and Sirius’ shoulders, Peter right behind them with the group’s popcorn bowl in preparation for any more vomit. 

“Yeah, Prongs. She loved it- c’mon, bedtime.” Sirius hummed, leading James and the others towards room F. 

Peter ran ahead and opened the door for the 4 of them, all stumbling inside as James flopped on the bed, pulling Remus and Sirius with him.

“You guys are the bestest of friends. I love you guys so much.” He mumbled, kissing Sirius’ cheek, then moving on to Remus’. “Pete? You wanna kiss on the cheek from the old Potterooni?” 

“I’m good, thank you, Jamesatron.” Peter replied, setting the bowl on James’ bedside table and perching on the side of the bed.

“You gonna be okay, mate?” Remus cooed, dragging- with aid from Sirius- him to lay properly on the bed.

“Nooooo!” To everyone’s dismay, James began to sob.

“Why is he crying?” Peter practically shrieked.

“Prongs? What’s the matter, buddy?” Sirius asked, softly, poking James’ shoulder.

“I- just- love- you- guys- _so- much_ ” He hiccoughed. 

“We love you too.” Sirius chuckled.

Remus ruffled through James’ top drawer, pulling out two paracetamols and stood up.

“Okay, James. I’ve left tablets there for you for the morning okay?”

“Noooo! Don’t go!” James sobbed again, making grabby hands at Remus.

He obliged, sitting on the bed with the three boys again. 

James pulled him into his embrace.

“Er- James?”

“I want a lads spoon sesh. Please stay with me- I love you guys.” James begged, wriggling him and Remus so that he had a tight grasp around him, front attached to his back.

“Oh my god.” Peter whispered, snapping a photo. 

“James- I- can’t- _breathe._ ” Remus huffed, attempting to pry James’ hands apart from their tight grip around Remus’ stomach.

“Cuddles, Re. Cuddles.” Was James’ only response as he nuzzled into Remus’ neck and promptly began to snore.

Remus widened his eyes in panic and looked towards Sirius and Peter who had both stood up and were silently laughing, grabbing hold of each other for support

“Help me!” Remus whispered harshly. 

“I’ll go grab my mattress and we can camp on James’ floor, cuddle-bear.” Sirius replied with a wink, leaving the room. 

“Pete?” 

“Oh no, Rem, I’m quite okay sharing with Pads- I’ll leave you two to it.” Peter giggled, taking off his shirt and trousers, leaving him in his boxer shorts. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I usually sleep nude, figured boxers would be alright.”

“How’s it fair you get to sleep in boxers when I have to sleep in jeans, a thick woolly cardigan and a fucking _6ft man_ draped all over me? I’m gonna suffocate!”

“Seems like your average Saturday night, Rem!” Sirius cheered, crashing into the room and dropping his mattress on to the floor. “Nice kit, Pete.” 

“Thanks, Pads.” 

“Guys- Please.” Remus begged, wriggling again, to only have James pull him in closer and throw a leg over his waist.

“Nah, looks like you’re you two are pretty cosy.” Pete teased, settling down on Sirius' mattress.

“Pads.”

“I thought you would love to have a man all over you in bed, Re!”

“That’s not fucking funny, Sirius. I don’t want James and you of _all_ people should know that, you fucking bastard!” Remus snapped, rolling off of the bed, on top of Peter, with James rolling on top of the two of them. 

Peter yelled in pain and James woke up with a shout. The three boys untangled themselves.

“I’m gonna be sick.” James grunted.

Peter reached for the bowl above his head but it was too late. 

Peter and Remus sat there, on Sirius’ mattress, their legs covered in James’ sick. Thankfully, Remus still wore his trousers. 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, JAMES!” Peter screamed, scrambling to get up and Remus did the same. 

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” James groaned, reaching the bowl and throwing up into it.

“Go to the bathroom, James.” Sirius ordered, holding the bowl for his friend as he stood up. 

“I’m covered in sick! I’M COVERED IN SICK!” 

“Jesus Christ, Pete, calm down. I’ll get you some of James’ clothes.” Sirius huffed, rampaging through the wardrobe.

Pete began whining and urging, whilst Remus stood as still as a brick wall. 

“Here you go, you two.” Sirius said, throwing a pair of joggers and a towel for Peter, and a pair of boxers and a shirt for Remus.

Remus looked at Sirius and gave him a grateful nod, and a smile of apology. Sirius nodded back with an understanding smile of his own. He peeled off his clothes as Pete did the same. Sirius sat on the bed and faced away from his changing friends.

“Okay, I think I’ve got all of- OH MY GOD THAT’S PETER’S PENIS!” 

Peter yelped and pulled the joggers on quicker, tripping and rolling on the floor.

“AND THAT’S THE SECOND ARSE I’VE SEEN IN A MONTH! HELLO RE! YOU ALSO HAVE A GORGEOUS ONE!” James sarcastically flirted, giving his bare behind a smack.

“Fucks sake, James.” Remus said with a blush, pulling on the boxer shorts quickly.

“I think this is the greatest day of my life.” Sirius cackled from James’ bed. 

“MOONY! REMUS IS PULLING A MOONY!”

“Oh no…”

“Pads! That’s it! You’re Padfoot, I’m Prongs, Remus is Moony and Peter is-”

“Oh god _please_ don’t finish that sentence.” Peter squealed, burrowing himself under James’ duvet in embarrassment. 

“Wormtail.”

“WHAT?!” 

Sirius was laughing again, clutching his side.

“Don’t you _dare_ call me that! What the fuck, James?!” Peter shrieked.

“Okay, Wormy.” James grinned, tackling Remus on to the bed.

The four fell asleep on the same single bed, with a bit of an effort, whilst Sirius’ mattress lay unoccupied. Sirius squeezed himself tightly against the wall, followed by Peter, then James, and finally Remus, hanging off of the edge. He would have fallen if it weren’t for Sirius’ arm draped across the other’s- Remus held on to it for dear life. The sandwiched boys slept easily, leaving Remus and Sirius awake. Remus could just make out his friend’s grey eyes in the dark.

“I’m sorry, Moony.”

Remus didn’t dare ask why- but felt the tension that had started between them on Halloween deflate, and settled for intertwining their fingers instead, giving them a squeeze (and feeling a squeeze back) before falling asleep almost immediately.

The girls found them in the morning all snuggled up. The picture they took hung proudly on James’ wall.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Lads Chat_ **

**Prongs:**

can’t say the night ended badly tho

we had some good cuddles

Remus Lupin is a good cuddle

**Padfoot:**

_How would I know_

_U hogged him all night_

**Prongs:**

sorry not sorry :D

**Moony:**

_Okay, quite enough of that_

_As amazing that night was,_

_And how you received the finger from Lils_

**Prongs:**

yh progress!

**Padfoot:**

_Haha_

_James got ‘the finger’_

**Prongs:**

always so dirty pads

**Padfoot:**

_Only for u Jam Jam ;)_

**Moony:**

_Sorry to interrupt whatever this is_

_But I wasn’t talking about that night_

_That was what, 3 weeks ago?_

_No- I’m talking about last week_

_How can you forget?_

_How can you forget, Pads?_

_You were the mastermind behind it all?_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“No.” Lily ordered, taking the tray of shots away from James.

“But- but-”

“You’re going to _share_ this time.”

“But it’s only sourz!”

“Either way, you and alcohol are a bad idea.”

The two made their way back to the table, Lily ahead holding the tray filled with drinks.

“More shots, James? Really?” Peter fussed, eyeing the shots with fear.

“It’s only sourz! I’m not a lightweight!” James yelled and if to prove a point, took a shot.

He reached for a second but Remus slapped his hand away, allowing the others to take one. 

“You’re a bad wingman, Moony.” 

“And you’re a terrible drunk, Prongs.”

“Oh, I forgot about these nicknames.” Marlene mentioned, drinking from her drink.

“And I would like to forget.” Peter replied, shivering and taking sips from his beer. 

“Pete, Sirius told us everything.”

“Of course he did!” Peter shrieked, turning to face a laughing Sirius.

“Drunk Prongs is my favourite Prongs.” Sirius announced, handing his shot to a delighted James.

“Sirius!” Lily screeched as James smacked his lips together.

“Oh Lily, I have a plan.” Sirius winked, snatching Remus’ shot and also handing that one to James.

“Hey!” Remus yelped.

“Trust the process, Moony.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus did not trust the process as the process seemed to be: get James as drunk as possible. By getting to this point, meant that Sirius was now, also, very drunk.

A very drunk Sirius also meant a very handsy Sirius. 

As Remus was pulled in for yet, another hug, hands winding into his hair, he had to make it stop, otherwise, his heart may just burst from his chest and flap around on their table like a fish out of water. 

“Sirius.” He sighed, pulling away from his embrace.

“Nooooo! Moony! Come back! Your hair is so soft!” Sirius wailed, hands fisting in Remus’ hair painfully. 

Okay, well... he tried. He sunk back into his embrace, breathing in his scent and making his heart flutter. 

Since the night of the _spoon sesh_ (As James liked to call it) Sirius and Remus had been getting along smoothly. It didn’t mean that Remus suddenly had a _chance_ with someone like Sirius Black, but being his friend was enough and there wasn’t a moment like the day before Halloween- Remus couldn’t work out if it was disappointment or relief that he felt. 

Sirius seemed very interested in Remus’, currently, non-existent love life. He even set up a Tinder for him, swiping left more than right- which Remus decided to lock in a part of his brain for safe-keeping. Overall, it was what a friendship _should_ be.

But then there were moments where he felt Sirius’ eyes on him, or his hand would linger too long on his shoulder. Sometimes he sent winky faces, sometimes he winked in person; it was all too confusing but he valued their friendship. Sirius was the only one who knew of his scars and experiences, and the only one who could help him through a panic attack. He had also begun to notice Remus’ migraines before Remus could himself, and was always a fantastic Nurse. He had gentle hands that would trace patterns on his temples or in his hair that would relax him into slumber. _He would sing to him quietly for fucks sake_. 

Basically, Remus was screwed. He was so, unequivocally, smitten with Sirius Black, even if the other didn’t realise or feel the same. He _was_ a very touchy person, after all, always offering hugs to anyone and massaging James’ feet after a run. It was the kind of person he was and Remus needed to remember that-

Even when a drunk Sirius had him on his lap, one hand massaging his hair, one hand massaging his thigh. 

He tried, he _really tried_ but his body was hopeless when it came to Sirius Black. He sagged in his hold, almost purring at Sirius’ ministrations. 

“Sirius?”

His breath was hot on his neck, and Remus ~~hoped~~ thought that his friend may kiss it.

“Sirius Black!”

Sirius looked up and away from a limp Remus- taking a look at the woman who had called his name. 

“Hey, Emmeline.” He greeted, shifting slightly, making Remus gasp. Did Sirius have a- was he-

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t realise you were gay. You should probably change your Tinder settings.” The girl said.

Remus felt himself being shoved off Sirius’ lap. A few more drinks and he would have landed on the floor.

“I’m not gay.”

Emmeline merely raised an eyebrow, eyes lingering at Sirius’ crotch.

“Right.”

“I’m not.” Sirius growled, storming to the bathrooms. 

Remus felt hurt with Sirius’ reaction for a moment whilst his heart hammered in his chest. He wasn’t the only one who thought that Sirius-

“Em?”

The girl who had ruined Remus’, quite frankly, _orgasmic_ massage, turned to face the redhead who had called to her.

“Oh my, Lily Evans! Didn’t realise this was your local?” 

Emmeline sat beside Lily.

“Yeah, come here every week for karaoke. I haven’t seen you since-”

“Since the night you actually blew my mind with that tongue of yours?” Emmeline flirted.

James snapped his head towards the pair of girls.

“Lily Evans! You’ve been holding out on us!” Marlene cheered.

“Lily! You’re- you’re-”

“Ugh! James, stop drooling! Don’t start being that straight guy who fetishises lesbians.” Lily snapped.

“Well, _are_ you a lesbian?”

“I’m bi.”

“Oh my god, this is the best day. I love this group, we just get better. Soon, James, Pete and Mary will join us!” Marlene squealed, hugging her girlfriend. 

“What about Sirius?” Remus asked.

“Oh, sweetie.” was Marlene’s only response.

“Lily, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!” Dorcas said, elated.

“Well, I don’t have to tell you guys everything! You didn’t tell us, Dorcas! Not until I caught you with Marls together! And Remus didn’t _tell_ us _._ He had to shout it because Mary was gonna kiss him!” Lily shouted with anger.

“Woh, hey! I wasn’t having a go, Lils.” Dorcas defended.

Lily sighed, “Sorry.” She turned to face Emmeline who looked slightly out of place. “Sorry. Yeah, we had a good time. I’m sorry though, I- I’ve kind of met someone.”

“ _What?”_ James practically screamed.

“Remus, will you control your friend please.” Lily ordered, exasperated. 

Remus mock-saluted, dragging James to the bathroom whilst he whinged about the ‘enigma’ that was Lily Evans.

“Moony, did you hear that she’s _met_ someone! It’s too late! I’ve lost her!” 

“Just because she's met someone doesn’t mean you’re out the picture, James.”

“James is out of the picture?” 

The boys turned to see Sirius sat on a toilet seat, the door wide open.

“No-”

“Pads! Your Tinder date and Lily have done the horizontal tango!” James screeched, barging into the toilet stall and falling on his knees right in front of Sirius. 

“Wait for real? Ye olde spicy samba?” 

“Yes! The bedroom waltz!”

“The-”

“Oh my god, _yes,_ they had _sex._ Okay? Lily is _bisexual,_ James. Get the fuck over it!” Remus interrupted.

The other two boys stared at him before James broke the silence.

“I wanna watch strictly now.”

Remus threw his hands in the air in frustration and promptly left the bathroom, leaving his two drunk best friends to it. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gang, sans James and Sirius, who Remus _swore_ he saw creeping around the edge of the room, all drank their drinks at their table. Emmeline had left. 

“I’m sorry for James’ reaction. He’s very drunk _again_ and he really does like you. I think it was the whole _I’ve met someone_ part more than the, you know-”

“Gay sex part?”

“Yeah, that bit.” Remus chuckled, a slight flush creeping up his neck and he tried pawing it away.

“I know, I just wish he didn't act like a dick all the time, y’know? Like, when he’s with _you,_ he’s alright, but then with _me_ he-”

“Is a complete and utter twat? Yeah, we’ve all noticed it’s not just you, Lils. Pads, Wormy and I have tried talking to him about it but he just likes you too much. I don’t know. I’m just saying that I’m sorry for his poor reaction and that he didn’t mean it.” 

“Thanks, Re.” Lily said with a grateful smile. "And I'm sorry for snapping earlier, I just didn't want everyone making a big deal about it."

"No worries."

“Errr- Remus? You don’t happen to know what Sirius’ plan was for James this evening?” Mary interrupted, her and the rest of the group’s eyes falling to the stage.

Remus only closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. Turning around, he saw Sirius holding the microphone.

“LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND MARLENE-”

“Bastard.” Marlene muttered with a smirk.

“I WELCOME JAMES POTTER TO THE STAGE! LET ME HEAR A CHEER!”

The crowd was silent.

“GIMME A CHEER, BITCHES!”

The crowd grunted, a few ‘woo!”s here and there, a particularly loud one from Marlene.

“BETTER! JAMES HERE HAS A SONG FOR THE LOVELY EVANS-”

“Oh boy.” Lily huffed.

“AND I SAID THAT HE NEEDS TO TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH THAN CHIVALROUS. SO, I GIVE YOU, SEXY JAMES POTTER!”

Sirius bowed dramatically, handing James the microphone.

“I swear if he calls me boo bear again-”

“THIS IS FOR YOU BOO BEAR!” 

“-Yep, there it is.” deadpanned Lily.

The group laughed despite Lily’s frustration as the sound of an intense piano filled the room. Remus recognised it, and judging by Marlene’s screeching laughter, so did she. 

“Oh god, he hasn’t!” Marlene wheezed between laughter.

“Why, what is it?” Lily asked, a little panicked.

_I love myself I want you to love me_

_When I feel down I want you above me_

_I search myself I want you to find me_

_I forget myself I want you to remind me_

“Oh my fucking god, I don’t believe this. I _refuse_ to believe this is happening right now.” 

“This is what happens when you let Sirius become the romantic. His future partner has a lot to look forward to.” Marlene cackled, eyeing Remus whilst he decided to ignore Marlene’s choice of _partner_ rather than _girlfriend._

_I don’t want anybody else_

_When I think about you I touch myself_

_Ooh, I don’t want anybody else, oh no, oh no, oh no_

The karaoke track was the Scala and Kolacny Brothers version, so James attempted the high, operatic notes to no success. Sirius and him clearly bonded in the bathroom as they danced a full routine- predominately crotch based and completely inappropriate, _of course._

“Jesus Christ.” Lily muttered, blushing as red as her hair. “Remus? You were right. He’s a twat.” 

Remus, however, was a tad occupied watching Sirius on stage as if he owned the place. They were making eye contact with each other, Sirius’ eyes teasing, flirtatious and mischievous. This wasn’t just a show for Lily, it was a show for _him._

_You're the one who makes me come runnin’_

_You're the sun who makes me shine_

_When you're around I'm always laughin’_

_I want to make you mine_

_I close my eyes and see you before me_

_Think I would die if you were to ignore me_

_A fool could see just how much I adore you_

_I'd get down on my knees I'd do anything for you_

Promptly, both James and Sirius slammed themselves on to the ground with their knees. James stopped singing momentarily to rub his knees in pain, but Sirius whipped his hair around sensually. Remus was practically hypnotised by his movements. 

_I love myself I want you to love me_

_When I feel down I want you above me_

_I search myself I want you to find me_

_I forget myself I want you to remind me_

_I want you_

_I don't want anybody else and_

_When I think about you I touch myself_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah oh ah_

“Well, this is obscene.” Marlene commented, watching the boys mime _touching themselves._

“Dibs not taking them back to their room.” Peter said quickly.

“Dibs!” Mary, Marlene and Dorcas all rushed together.

Remus looked at Lily with a desperate look.

“Don’t you dare Remus John Lupin. I deserve a fucking medal after this evening, I am not going anywhere near those two tonight. Oh, I’m gonna hit him so damn hard.”

Remus sighed, “I suppose you’re right. The rest of you suck though.”

They only grinned in response.

_I don't want anybody else and_

_When I think about you I touch myself_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah oh ah_

_I don't want anybody else and_

_When I think about you I touch myself_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah oh ah_

_I don’t want anyone else and_

_When I think about you I touch myself_

The song came to a halt and the boys on stage bowed, ridiculously, as if they were in the O2.

Marlene stood up and whisked her arm in the air whooping.

“Yes, _thank you,_ Marlene _.”_ Lily said through gritted teeth as the performers skipped towards their table holding hands.

“Well then Lily, what do you think? Wanna go out on that date?” James flirted, dropping Sirius’ hand and coming close to Lily.

“In your fucking dreams, Potter.” She spat, slapping him in the face and storming out of the building, an alarmed Mary in tow.

The rest of the group stood motionless, watching James with wide eyes, as he reached to touch his reddening cheek.

“She’s amazing.” He sighed dreamily.

“This is borderline obsessive.” Marlene guffawed, patting James on the shoulder. “Come on lover boy, me and Dorky will take you back.” She said, linking his arm and shooting a pointed look at Remus, then at Sirius. 

“Oh, I can take James back! That was the plan wasn’t it?” Remus panicked, taking a step forward.

“I think me and Dorcas have him, and Pete?”

“Oh, yeah, coming.” He muttered, noticing Marlene’s stern glare. 

The four left the building, leaving Remus stood gawking at the door, and a giggling Sirius behind him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And then James said _we should make up a routine_ and honestly, Moony, in that moment, I could have kissed him.” Sirius rambled as he hung off Remus’ shoulder. 

“Ah, yes- he does have some ideas doesn’t he?” Remus said, pushing Sirius’ door open and plonking the man on the bed. 

“I could have kissed him, but I wouldn’t have.” He mumbled, fiddling with one of his buttons. 

Remus’ throat constricted. He knew where this was going and he wasn’t ready. He just remained silent as Sirius’ eyes met his.

“I would have kissed you, you know- the day before Halloween. If James didn’t come in, I would have done it.” He whispered.

“I know.” Remus answered, awkwardly shifting his balance between his feet. _I’m not drunk enough for this-_

“You can sit down, you know.”

_-And Sirius is too drunk._

“Probably not a good idea, Sirius. You’re drunk and like you’ve said many times, you’re not gay.”

Sirius flinched. 

“No. I’m not.” he said quietly, rubbing the back of his head. “But, maybe I’m _something?_ I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it before.”

Remus felt his heart beat manically in his chest. He wanted to sit down next to Sirius, he really did but he knew it was a bad idea. A terrible idea, an awful, awful-

He sat down. 

“Sirius, it’s okay if you don’t know who you are yet, you’re only nineteen. Besides, a lot of people don’t like to use labels, so maybe _don’t_ label yourself yet? It’s okay to be questioning for a while.” 

“How am I supposed to know if I don’t experience anything with a guy?” Sirius asked, pointedly throwing a hand on Remus’ knee. 

“Sirius-”

“Maybe if I just tried something? Like- like- I would _know?_ I hate not knowing, Remus.”

Remus sighed, “Yes, I know. But I know who _I_ am. I don’t want to be someone’s experiment again. This isn’t the right way to approach things. I don’t need to snog some woman to know that I’m gay, it’s just who I am. I’m sorry you haven’t figured it out for yourself yet, but you have _time.”_

Sirius was silent for a while and Remus dared to chance a look at the man who gripped his knee desperately. He was staring intently at his own hand, but his eyes were filled with so much despair that it made Remus’ heart clench. 

“Hey, if you still feel this way sober, we can talk again, alright? You’re not alone in this- I’ve dealt with it, Marlene, Dorcas and Lily.”

“I don’t want to talk to them, I only want you. Don’t you get it?” The words were aggressive, but the delivery soft. Sirius leaned forward so his forehead was resting on Remus’ shoulder, hand still on his knee. “My family, they- they aren’t all that wonderful.” He sighed loudly and flopped backwards on to his back. Remus followed tentatively, able to keep a sensible distance. 

“The Black family have been going on for generations. Politicians, con men, racists, the lot.”

_Homophobes_ Remus thought to himself as Sirius gave him a pointed look. 

“My father is always working in the office, but when he’s home, he’s-”

Sirius stopped for a while, eyes dashing to different points of the ceiling. 

“Both of them aren’t good people, Remus. I’m stuck there, I’m different to them, I swear I am.”

He turned to face Remus, grabbing his arm in a tight grip and manic eyes. 

“I know that.” Remus assured softly.

“You don’t understand what they’d do if I- If we-”

“It’s okay, honestly.”

“No, it’s not!” Sirius near- shouted, bolting up and pacing his room. “I did the dumbest things when I was younger and I would get punished.” Remus noticed his hand smooth his cheek. The Black family hadn’t _physically hurt him,_ right?

“Sirius, what are you trying to say?” Remus asked, sitting up cautiously as Sirius returned to perch on the end of the bed, head in hands.

“I was a little shit, you know?” Sirius snorted.

“That I don’t doubt.” Remus joked, bumping his shoulder against his friend’s.

“I would draw on the walls, put up posters with this really sticky tape that would rip the paint off if they were taken down. I would chat back, eat my food with the wrong cutlery, wear shoes inside. Reg-my brother- and I would hide from the nanny or make such a mess that she would have to leave us alone. We were so close.” He took a long breath. “But we grew up, and he decided he wanted to follow _their_ rules. When we were younger, I would take all the blame- I- I didn’t want them to hurt him, not Reggie…”

“What happened?”

“It was only slaps. That’s as far as mother dearest would go. I was awful, Remus, truly, I think I did a lot of things just to wind them up. They hired me a tutor- Kingsley, so I wouldn’t go to school and corrupt the other students. He was a young guy, mature though- and he was actually fun. He didn’t have the same opinions as my god-awful family and we got along really well.”

Remus stayed very still, not entirely over ‘ _it was only slaps’._ All this time he was worried about what his parents would think of him being gay, when, in reality, his parents loved him so much. Sirius’ parents, however…

“It was a month in on lessons and I realised that Kingsley- he meant a bit more to me than a tutor. It was maybe three months that he realised I meant more to him than a student. I was sixteen. Reg caught us kissing in the study. Kingsley was fired and god knows what else, I can’t find him on any social media, I haven’t seen him on the streets I- I- I don’t know what they did to him, Remus and I live in guilt every day.”

Remus’ head was processing this new information. Sirius Black had _kissed_ a male at sixteen, Sirius Black had kissed his _teacher_ at sixteen, Sirius Black had witnessed homophobia from a young age and-

Sirius pulled up his shirt, pointing to his back where fading, purple raised scars lie crisscrossed on his back. 

-and he had been abused because he showed attraction to the same sex. He had been abused by _his parents_ because he showed attraction to the same sex! Fuck fuck-

“Fire poker. Reg told dad immediately. I was sent to boarding school.” He finished, dropping his shirt back and looking to Remus’ eyes with unshed tears. “I don’t know how to get out, Remus. I can’t go back there in the Summer, but I can’t leave Reg-”

“Your brother _told_ on you the moment he found out!”

“Yes, he did. He was scared, I don’t blame him.”

“But-”

“I caught him with one of his friends a couple of weeks before. He was worried I was going to tell our parents but I couldn’t- I _wouldn’t_ put him in danger like that, and now I’m here and he’s _always_ in danger.”

And for the first time, Remus witnessed Sirius Black cry.

He shifted closer, warily wrapping an arm around him. Sirius obliged easily, grabbing fistfuls of Remus’ shirt and slamming his face into his chest. Remus allowed him to, stroking his back and placing a firm kiss on the top of his head.

“It’ll be alright, it’s okay.” He kept murmuring into Sirius’ hair until he felt his friend’s sobs decrease and his breathing even out and his tense muscles relax. Soft snores hit his chest. 

With care, he unclenched Sirius’ hands from his shirt and stood up. He put his legs on the bed and grabbed his blanket, covering him with it. 

He looked at peace, the most he had ever seen him before. This boy who had helped him _so much_ had gone through the worst. 

_My family- they have connections-_

_Just saying, my family can be influential-_

“Oh, Sirius, what have I gotten myself into?” Remus breathed into the air, smoothing Sirius’ hair backwards and stepping away.

“Goodnight.” 

And he left.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Lads chat _ **

  
  


**Prongs:**

ah yh

felt it went well tho?

**Moony:**

_James, she slapped you across the face…_

**Prongs:**

and it was awesome! :D

**Moony:**

_Jesus Christ_

_Sirius?_

**Padfoot:**

_I’m here_

_That night was a blur LOL_

**Moony:**

_You don’t remember… anything?_

**Padfoot:**

_Nah not really_

_Crazy night hey Prongs?_

**Prongs:**

not sure really 

just remember my knees hurting 

A L O T 

**Padfoot:**

_Really now? ;)_

**Prongs:**

back to the dirt I see.

anyways the reason for this early morning wake up

I’ve composed a song.

**Padfoot:**

_Uhoh_

**Prongs:**

I plan to perform it soon, I just need a few things…

**Moony:**

_What do you want, James?_

**Padfoot:**

_This is amazing_

_Anything for you Jam Jam <3 _

**Prongs:**

ngl 

I’ve just changed a few words 

in a song that already existed.

**Moony:**

_Probably would have guessed that_

**Prongs:**

your optimism keeps me going moony 

I’m on amazon

looking at outfits 

**Padfoot:**

_Oh I LOVE the sound of this_

**Prongs:**

4 me

and 4 my 2 backup dancers

who’s in?

**Padfoot:**

_OMG ME HAHAHAHA_

**Wormtail:**

Nope 

**Moony:**

_Absolutely not._

_For fucks sake, Peter!!!!!_

**Padfoot:**

_AHAHAHAHHAHAA_

**Prongs:**

hi Pete my old chum! 

good morning!

**Wormtail:**

Good morning comrades!

Hope u have amazing outfit ideas prongs

Anything to embarrass moony 

**Moony:**

_I hate you._

**Wormtail:**

:)

Anyways going back to sleep now 

Gd luck u guys!

**Prongs:**

night m8

**Padfoot:**

_Sweet dreams xoxo_

**Moony:**

_Sleep with one eye open, Peter Pettigrew._

**Padfoot:**

_So aggressive!_

**Moony:**

_This better be good, James._

**Prongs:**

trust me

best idea yet.

I’ll be in with ur tea in 20mins k?

**Moony:**

K.

**Prongs:**

and a choc biscuit?

**Moony:**

_Ok._

**Prongs:**

3 choc biscuits?

**Moony:**

_Better._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

_How was ur cuppa?_

**Remus:**

Fine, a bit too milky :(

Chocolate biscuits were a godsend though.

**Sirius:**

_Caught Prongs in the kitchen_

_Made him bring in 5 biscuits :)_

**Remus:**

Lifesaver.

**Sirius:**

_U getting ready for lecture?_

**Remus:**

Yeah, I have to leave in half an hour

**Sirius:**

_Curse the lectures for being early!_

_I just wanted to text u before u went_

**Remus:**

Okay?

You can come in, you know?

**Sirius:**

_Yh_

_I wanted to message tho_

_I’m a bit embarrassed_

**Remus:**

Oh

What about?

**Sirius:**

_Last week_

_I do remember_

_And I’m sorry_

**Remus:**

Oh

That’s okay

You can talk to me at any time

**Sirius:**

_Ur the sweetest_

_Truly_

_I just wish I didn’t say all of it drunk_

**Remus:**

I understand.

What's that saying?

Drunk words are sober thoughts?

**Sirius:**

_Right_

_About that_

_I don’t want group knowing about my batshit fam_

_Not yet_

_James knows, I told him the other day_

_Said I can stay with him in the hols :)_

**Remus:**

That’s great! 

It’s okay, I won’t say anything 

**Sirius:**

_Ur a great friend_

_I think I’ll be able to afford a new place_

_My uncle died a while back, left everything for me_

_And Reg will be coming here for uni too_

_2yrs time_

_So he won’t be alone for long_

**Remus:**

Sorry to hear about your uncle.

Glad to hear things are being sorted out though!

You won’t have to worry about your own place for a while though

With James, I’m sure we will all move in together after first year.

Unless that’s something you don’t want

Then, of course, find your own place!

And then your brother can stay!

  
  


**Sirius:**

_Lol_

_Don’t panic moons_

_That’s something I would like :)_

_I just wanna say thank u_

_ik I was drunk and ik u were the one to take me back_

_And ik it was a bit of a deep convo_

**Remus:**

Like I said, Sirius, It’s fine. 

**Sirius:**

_The stuff I said_

_About Kingsley…_

**Remus:**

What of it? 

**Sirius:**

_He was a teacher_

_And I was young_

_He was wrong to do that_

_I was an impressionable child_

_So what I’m trying to say is_

_I don’t think it means anything_

_U know_

_About me_

_Remus?_

**Remus:**

I’m here

Well, yes teacher/student isn’t really right 

But I don’t think you should dismiss it altogether

**Sirius:**

_Y not?_

**Remus:**

Sirius. 

You know why

Please don’t make me say it. 

**Sirius:**

_Yh ik :/_

_I don’t know what to say really_

_I like u Re_

_I do_

_but_

_I just don’t think like THAT_

_U know?_

_I like girls_

_A lot_

_I do_

_I don’t wanna lead u on._

_Pls answer me Remus._

_Don’t make this awkward._

**Remus:**

Nothing awkward here.

Just you nearly kissing me then saying nothing can happen between us.

That’s okay.

**Sirius:**

_Don’t be like this Re_

_I just like girls_

_That’s it._

**Remus:**

Read and understood. 

**Sirius:**

_We’re ok?_

**Remus:**

Yes, we’re fine. 

I don’t want to wreck our friendship anyways. 

**Sirius:**

_Oh_

_Ok_

_Well if u need a wingman at any point ;)_

_What about that guy from Halloween_

_U wanna see him again?_

**Remus:**

No, I don’t think I will

Bit vain. 

I’ll let you know if I find anyone 

**Sirius:**

_Yay!_

_I was going to ask…_

_U and Mary r good friends right?_

**Remus:**

Yeah? 

Why? 

**Sirius:**

_I realised I don’t have her number_

_I think_

_I think I like her?_

_As in like like_

**Remus:**

Oh 

**Sirius:**

_Is that ok?_

**Remus:**

Yeah of course, 

Why wouldn’t it be?

**Sirius:**

_Re_

_ur being weird_

_We said this wouldn’t be weird right?_

_I like Mary_

**Remus:**

Nothing weird here. 

I’m sure you two would be great together. 

**Sirius:**

_Really?_

**Remus:**

Yeah. 

**Sirius:**

_Thanks mate :)_

_U ok?_

**Remus:**

Absolutely fine. 

Go get her. 

Here’s her number 

**Sirius:**

_:)_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was mid-December before any of the outfits arrived; everyone was planning on going home within the next week so James was jumpy and agitated, eager to fulfil his plan that would finally get Lily to like him back. 

He kept his plan secret from Remus and Sirius, telling them to brush up on their Just Dance. They did, almost every evening, much to the delight of the rest of the group who placed bets on the competitive two. (Remus was winning 6-4) 

The boys were called into James’ room. He was practically jumping with excitement.

“Open them! Open them!”

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, Remus with scepticism, Sirius with amusement. Ripping into the packages, flashes of white blue and red hit them. Opening further, pom-poms fell to the floor and the boys regarded their outfits. 

“CHEERLEADERS!” James cheered.

Sirius burst out laughing and Remus looked at his dress in horror. 

“Why-”

“Right so I overheard Lily and Mary talking about what they found attractive, well, _apparently_ men in dresses is one of them so here we are! And Pads! This will totally help with you Mary, although I would say you don’t need to do much more, I reckon today is the day _for both of us!”_

Remus tried not to let the information of Sirius becoming a couple with Mary hurt him, but he felt the sting in his heart and he only barely managed to not flinch or make a face.

“Wow! If I had known that, I would have come out in a skirt ages ago! I’ve got one in my wardrobe for a rainy day.” Sirius announced.

Remus tried not to scoff at _ages ago_ knowing full well that his thing for Mary was a cover-up and had only lasted the duration of December. 

“You are one amazing bloke.” James said in awe.

“Hang on, hang on, so if _you’re_ trying to impress Lily, and _Sirius_ is trying to impress Mary, where do _I_ come into this? It’s not going to benefit me in any way!”

James smirked at Sirius, then at him. _Uhoh-_

“Well, I’ve invited your _friend_ from Halloween, Moony. I bumped into him on campus, turns out he’s still _very_ interested.” 

He wanted to throw James across the room and out of the window. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to repress his sudden anger. 

“As much as I am _pleased_ you’re trying to help me, I _hated_ him. Really. And I don’t appreciate this being done behind my back.” 

“Oh, sorry Moony, it’s just- Padfoot said that you wanted to see him again?”

He snapped his head to a sheepish Sirius.

“I didn’t say that, did I, Sirius? Go on tell James what I said.” Remus sneered, folding his arms. 

Sirius mumbled to himself.

“Can’t hear you.”

“You said he was vain.” Sirius mumbled to the floor, looking like a scolded child. 

“Oh, sorry, Re- I can always ask him to leave-”

“No, it’s alright. Could do with a shag anyways, it’s been a while.” He spat, angling his venom at Sirius. “What’s the plan then?”

James seemed a little confused by what was happening and looked between a frowning Remus and a guilty-looking Sirius before speaking. 

“Gather everyone in the common room tomorrow morning-”

And James began to tell his master plan. 

It ended with a giddy Sirius and- Remus- who was definitely worried about how Lily was going to react.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus stood, hugging himself, outside of the common room door. He was wearing a lycra cheerleader dress, the skirt a little flared, some white trainers that were too small for him as they were James’; his hair had two little top knots-mostly from his fringe- and he held ridiculous red and blue pom-poms. Sirius was next to him, bouncing from foot to foot in excitement, in the same attire, except, his hair was long enough to make two bunches. They both looked ridiculous, but Remus couldn’t help the tug of attraction to the other man as with his hair up, he could make out the strong neck muscles and the tiny freckles that adorned it. He had a beautiful face, so chiselled and so elegant, it pained Remus to stare, so he settled for picking at one of the pom-poms, one of the strings falling out and fluttering to the floor. 

“Re, stop that, you won’t have any pom-pom left otherwise!” Sirius said, placing one of his hands on Remus’, which Remus snatched away quickly.

Sirius looked hurt at the movement, and Remus begged for him to just stay quiet… but this was Sirius Black.

“Look I’m sorry about getting James to invite Gilderoy. I just thought, you know, everyone deserves a second chance, right? And he’s the only guy you’ve ever- you know- done _stuff_ with-”

“It’s fine, Sirius.” Remus cut off shortly.

“-And I didn’t want you to feel left out, James is intent on Lily, I think I’m getting somewhere with Mary and heck! Even Pete has someone in his class that-”

“Oh wow, thanks _so_ much. Remus seems to be the _only one_ without someone, let’s invite someone he _blatantly_ didn’t like behind his back because we all feel _really_ sorry for him. Gee, my hero.” Remus snapped, sarcastically.

“You don’t have to be a dick about it, Remus. I don’t know what’s happened to you.” 

“What’s happened to _me?”_ Remus scoffed. “What’s happened to _you?”_

“ _Me?_ ” Sirius guffawed facing Remus, anger etched on his features.

“Yes, _you!_ You’re the most confusing person I’ve ever met! One minute, you’re _begging_ me to let you fucking _try something_ with a guy, next minute you’re asking me for a girl’s number and pushing me away to someone else!”

“For fucks sake, Remus! I thought we were okay?! _You_ said it was okay that I try with Mary!” 

“Well I wasn’t going to say _no_ was I? If I had known you would turn out like _this_ I wouldn’t have bothered!” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” They were both shouting now, practically nose to nose. If anyone were to catch them they would be in for a sight of two angry cheerleaders. 

“It means that you’ve changed. We were _fine_ until the night you drunk cried on me. I’m not saying that’s a problem, what’s a problem is that you- you’re denying all your feelings! And that is absolutely fine, you can do that in your own time, but whatever _this_ is-” Remus pointed his finger into Sirius’ chest. “You can’t act like _the lad_ when you _know_ what’s happened! You can’t just set up _dates_ for me with any gay guy you know!”

“I’m-I’m just trying to _help,_ Moony-” Sirius stammered, quietly.

“Well I don’t need, nor _want_ your fucking help.” Remus jeered, breathing heavily. He went to move backwards, but Sirius grabbed his arm.

“What are you doing?” Remus hissed.

Further thoughts and words were cut off by Sirius crashing his lips to Remus’. 

He was stunned for just a moment, before growling and pulling Sirius closer, reciprocating the kiss with equal determination. His arm looped around Sirius’ back, the other gripping hold of a ponytail. Sirius’ hands were everywhere; resting on his chest, curled around his back, gripping his hips, holding his face, he was _everywhere._ He was everywhere and he was _everything._

Eventually, they had to breathe, so they pulled apart. Remus' legs felt wobbly and he rested his head on Sirius’-

-until he was pushed a metre away by a shell-shocked Sirius.

“Sirius-” Remus tried, taking a step forward, but Sirius flinched, backing into the wall. “Sirius-”

“That- this- we- this _can’t happen_ \- forget about it.” Sirius whispered with wide eyes.

“Sirius-” Remus tried again.

“I SAID FORGET ABOUT IT!” Sirius roared and slammed a palm to his mouth when he saw the way Remus’ face drop. “Remus, I-”

“It’s forgotten about, don’t worry. It’ll never happen again.” Remus said venomously just as James came out of his room, wearing the same outfit as the others, and his hair pulled back off of his face with a hairband that had tinsel wrapped around it. He held a small boom box.

“What’s all the shouting about?” James asked, a large grin on his face.

Sirius was pale and shaking against the wall, Remus stood tall, chest heaving, cheeks flushed. James frowned. _I’ve fucked things up..._

“You guys alright?”

Sirius didn’t look like he could speak so Remus took one for the team, “Yep. Ready to get the show on the road?” 

James still wore a frown, directing it towards Sirius.

“Pads?”

“Hm- Yeah.” He croaked, coughing to clear his throat. “Ready to woo the ladies.” He said, with a lilt of a smile. Remus didn’t bother hiding his eye roll and James saw. He decided not to comment on it. _I’ve fucked things up..._

“Okay…” He hesitated. “You guys gonna be okay doing this?”

“For fucks sake stop mothering us.” Remus snarled, snatching the boom box from James and striding towards the door. He looked back to see James and Sirius having some sort of conversation with their eyes, but they stopped abruptly when they spotted Remus staring. 

“Alright, then- let’s go!” James’ grin was back.

Sirius and Remus stormed into the common room to find everyone sat on the sofa watching the TV. Marlene and Dorcas cuddled up on one end, Gilderoy on the other looking very out of place. Peter sat on what was deemed _his_ chair, and Mary on the one opposite, with Lily sat in front of her on the floor, head back as Mary fiddled with her hair.

Peter spotted the boys first, an elated, evil smile filling his features and he scrambled to get his phone out. The others followed suit, like a game of Chinese whispers. Marlene actually laughed out loud, holding her girlfriend’s leg for support.

“What the fuck is this?” She wheezed, fumbling for her own phone and taking pictures. Remus watched Mary’s eyes focus on Sirius, as Sirius’ eyes focussed on hers. He thought he saw him wink at her. His pent up anger went out on slamming the boom box on the table and making eye contact with Gilderoy, who was eyeing him eagerly. _I’ve fucked things up..._ He pressed the play button and let the sound of clapping engage their audience as Remus and Sirius began slapping their knees and clapping their pom-poms together. Soon, they began to chant:

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

  
  


Remus heard the namesake groan. The instrumental part came, and Remus and Sirius bolted into their choreographed routine. (Sirius choreographed it.) They bounced from foot to foot tilting their heads side to side and waved their pom-poms around. 

_Hey_ Lily!

In came James, taking his place between the two cheerleaders. He beamed at Lily, who attempted to look annoyed but was smiling brightly at the ridiculous scene. 

_You've been around all night_

_And that's a little long_

_You think you've got it right_

_But I think you got it wrong_

_But can't you say goodnight_

_So you can take me home_ Lily!

Marlene and Dorcas were actively cackling now, and Remus stuck up his middle finger at them whilst he shimmied backwards and forwards. 

“It’s always some sort of song and dance with him isn’t it?” He heard Mary tell Lily who shook her head in disbelief.

_'Cause when you say you will_

_It always means you won't_

_You're giving me the chills_

_Baby, please baby, don't_

_Every night you still leave me all alone_ Lily!

The music ramped up, and the three jogged on the spot. Remus tried to imagine his utter happiness if it was Peter instead of him doing this. His cheerleader outfit was a little bit too tight, and too small for his long legs so he kept self-consciously pulling his skirt down, much to Gilderoy’s delight as he eyed the bottom of Remus’ boxer shorts peeking out from under his skirt. The chorus came, the three boys all shouting the lyrics:

_Oh_ Lily _, what a pity you don’t understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

_Oh_ Lily _You’re so pretty can’t you understand_

_It's_ girls _like you_ Lily

_Oh what you do_ Lily _, do_ Lily

_Don't break my heart_ Lily _!_

They all dramatically pointed to their hearts and jumped around energetically. Remus was actually enjoying himself when he looked at Lily’s flushed face. 

_Hey_ Lily!

_Now when you take me from the hooves everyone’s gonna know_

_Every time you move I let a little more show_

_There’s something we can use so don’t say no_ Lily _!_

_So come on and give it to me any way you can_

_Anyway you wanna do it I’ll treat you like a_ queen 

_Oh please, baby, please, don’t leave me in a jam,_ Lily! 

James was on his knees, directly in front of Lily, looking as if he were begging, but his face was wrinkled with joy. He stayed where he was, singing incredibly out of tune into Lily’s face. 

_Oh_ Lily _, what a pity you don’t understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

_Oh_ Lily _You’re so pretty can’t you understand_

_It's_ girls _like you_ Lily

_Oh what you do_ Lily _, do_ Lily

_Don't break my heart_ Lily _!_

The backing track went back to just the clapping beats. Remus and Sirius fell back into slapping their knees and pom-poms.

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

James was running around the room, trying to engage the others by clapping high above his head, shooting pointed looks at the members of the room. Marlene was the first to humour him, clapping along, which led to Dorcas and Gilderoy doing the same.

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

Pete took one hand from his phone and tapped his head to the music, not letting up his photography. Mary tentatively joined, still paying more attention to Sirius than any other in the room. Lily was the only one not clapping so James stood in front of her, pulling her up and twirling her around.

_Oh_ Lily _, you're so fine_

_You're so fine you blow my mind Hey_ Lily _!_

_Hey_ Lily _!_

Lily seemed to give up pretending she wasn’t enjoying herself and shook, twirled, shimmied and swayed along with James as the song picked up again.

_Oh_ Lily _, what a pity you don’t understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

_Oh_ Lily _You’re so pretty can’t you understand_

_It's_ girls _like you_ Lily

_Oh what you do_ Lily _, do_ Lily

_Don't break my heart_ Lily _!_

_Oh_ Lily _, what a pity you don’t understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

_Oh_ Lily _You’re so pretty can’t you understand_

_It's_ girls _like you_ Lily

_Oh what you do_ Lily _, do_ Lily

_Don't break my heart_ Lily _!_

James had hold of Lily’s hands and they were dancing, James absolutely pleased with himself that Lily was laughing with abandon. Remus wanted to smile, but the feeling stopped when he saw Sirius was no longer dancing, but was sat on Mary’s seat, with her on top of him in a heated kiss. The next thing he knew, Gilderoy was beside him, pulling his shoulder towards him. _I’ve fucked things up..._

“May I have this dance?”

Remus swallowed and nodded quickly enough to give him whiplash. Gilderoy wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck and they swayed, far too romantically for a song like _Hey Mickey!_ on in the background. _I’ve fucked things up..._ The song faded out and Marlene, Peter and Dorcas let out large cheers.

“Bravo! Bravo!” Peter whooped, finally taking his phone from his face and standing up to shake James’ hand. 

James swivelled around to face Lily again.

“So Lily, do you want to go out-”

“Lily, are you ready to go out?” Came a voice from the door of the common room. 

Everyone’s heads turned to the voice. A boy with black greasy hair and a large nose stood there, apparently now taking in the scene in front of him as he looked flabbergasted. 

“ _Severus Snape?”_ James squeaked.

The name sounded familiar…

“James Potter.” Severus scorned in return, his face crumpled with disdain. 

“What are you doing here?”

“James, Sev and I, we are _seeing_ each other, actually.” Lily said, dropping James’ hands and walking over to Severus, gripping his. “We have been for about a month actually.”

James looked shocked.

“Well, as _lovely_ as this seems to be, Lily and I must be leaving to grab breakfast. Coming, honey?” Severus said, grinning maliciously at James.

“Yeah, bye guys! Thanks, James for all of this, it was fun.” She said softly before the two took off hand in hand. 

Sirius was up in a flash, gripping James’ shoulders.

“You okay?” 

“Er- yeah! Yeah, I’m- er- I’m fine.” James stammered, blinking a few times.

Sirius looked to Remus for help, his eyes not meeting the others fully, causing a pang to shoot through his chest. _I’ve fucked things up..._ Remus came over too, hugging James from behind. Soon, Peter joined, then Marlene, Dorcas and finally Mary. Fuck, even _Gilderoy._ James soon pushed them all away. 

“Well, I’ve been on a date with that boy thanks to Lily, I know he has _terrible_ table manners. I feel sorry for _her.”_ He announced, head held high.

“Hell yeah!” Sirius shouted, punching a fist in the air. 

“And she’s missing out on some James lovin’.” He finished, pressing play on the boom box as _Hey Mickey!_ started up again. 

“FOR PADFOOT!” He roared.

_Oh_ Mary _you’re so fine_

_You’re so fine you blow my mind hey_ Mary! 

_Hey_ Mary!

  
  


Mary jumped in the air and clapped her hands excitedly as James spun her around and practically threw her at Sirius, who grabbed her confidently and dipped her to kiss her. _I’ve fucked things up..._

The room erupted in cheers again. Remus stood still, heart racing knowing that it was _him_ who had Sirius on his lips less than 10 minutes ago.

He had fucked things up well and truly. He got so angry at Sirius, knowing full well that he was unsure of his identity, and he pushed him too far. Now nothing would ever happen between them as Mary swatted Sirius on the ass, telling him to change so they could go out for breakfast themselves. He watched as Sirius left the room, purposely avoiding Remus’ intense staring. He watched as Mary gathered Marlene and Dorcas into the kitchen to erratically talk about, what Remus presumed, Sirius and their plans. James had changed the lyrics _again,_ directing his affection towards Peter- who had stolen one of Sirius’ pom-poms and was wearing it as a hat. 

Remus felt overwhelmed very quickly, his breath became laboured and his throat constricted. He felt beads of sweat trickle from his forehead and he excused himself to James, who looked worried.

“Hey, do you want me to keep you company? You don’t look so hot-”

“I would like nothing less, Gilderoy. Please leave me alone.” Remus sighed, pushing past the man and through the doors, desperately trying to reach room B before he broke down completely. 

Alas, the universe was unkind as he knocked into Sirius who was on his way back to the common room. Leather, musk and flowers penetrated his senses and it took all of his effort to not let out a whimper. 

“You okay, Re?” Sirius asked, a little stiff and angling himself away from Remus.

Remus got his bearings back and nodded, sliding past and into his room. Landing on his bed in a heap, he cried and cried and cried, until he felt sleep consume him.

He awoke later, his eyes fixing on a lavender-scented candle lit on his desk, the dancing orange light seducing him into another slumber.


	4. Last Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texting at Christmas and opening Secret Santa gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!  
> 2 chapters in the same week? You lucky stars ;)  
> granted, it's a short chapter of texting! I know text fics do well so wanted a go  
> I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this fic but in Sirius' POV pls let me know if you would like to see this?  
> I also want to make a fic of one shots of things that happen between each chapter, I have a few ideas already but if you guys want to see anything in particular let me know!  
> I also have a playlist which I will be updating with the songs used in the fic! You can have a listen here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgM2Opou2_SKff4hGUBjf58PcvHWdHjC1 or search: Legato (captain_lupin_x) on youtube.  
> I will be putting it at the start of every chapter to get your head into the fanfic!  
> If you have any song suggestions you want to see or think will fit, let me know and I will see what I can do!  
> Again- I'm here to shout out the lovely Shay(winterscaptsam) for all her support x  
> Anyways- enjoy the chapter, kudos and comments would be lovely!

** CHAPTER 4- _Last Christmas_ **

_“In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”_

**_Flatmates_ **

**Marlene:**

_MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES_

**Lily:**

2 early

**James:**

haps crimbo! :D

**Sirius:**

_IIIITTTSSSSSSS CHRIIIIISTMAAAASSSSS!!!!!!!!!_

**Peter:**

Merry Christmas u guys!

**Dorcas:**

_Merry Christmas_

**Sirius:**

_ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAARRRRRR!!!!!!!_

**Lily:**

Jesus Christ

**Mary:**

Aww, babe, u excited? Xxx

**Sirius:**

_Abso-fucking-lutely!_

_JAMES!!!!_

_It’s not too early to wake ur parents up right?_

**Lily:**

Sirius its 3am 

**Sirius:**

_But it’s Christmas! :o_

**James:**

6 is fine pads

**Sirius:**

_But that's ages away :(_

**James:**

come in with me m8

**Sirius:**

_:DDDDD_

**Mary:**

Should I be jealous lol x

**James:**

very much str8

very much have a thing for red heads

**Marlene**

_What’s everyone up to today?_

**Mary:**

Me and the fam going for a walk on the beach with JJ x

**Sirius:**

_AHHH_

_JJ :)_

_I miss his little fluffy face_

_I want a dog so bad_

**Mary:**

He misses you too babe x

And me!! Xxxxxxx

**Marlene:**

_U guys are so gross_

_Any other intel pls_

**James:**

me and pads and parents just gonna chill n play games

**Dorcas:**

_Same_

**Peter:**

Same

**Lily:**

Petunia has invited her awful boyfriend 

Sev is coming for dinner 

**James:**

at least u n sis have something in common 

**Lily:**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**James:**

nothingggggggggg

wyd Marls?

**Marlene:**

_Well I’m with dad in the morn_

_Then off to mums for dinner_

_So I expect a lot of eye-rolling listening to them complain about each other?_

_Just a hunch tho_

**Dorcas:**

_Have they still not sorted their shit out?_

**Marlene:**

Nope.

Think this is how we are all gonna be forever

**Dorcas:**

_:( <3 _

**Marlene:**

<3

**Sirius:**

_Did everyone get their secret Santa gifts on time?_

**Peter:**

Yes

Although mine is very phallic shaped

So it screams Prongs Padfoot or Marlene.

**Marlene:**

_Offended?_

**Sirius:**

_We are gonna tell each other who we got right?_

**James:**

yh I can’t live with myself if I don’t say anything

**Mary:**

PLEASE!!! X

**Marlene:**

_Oh ofc_

**Dorcas:**

_Sure_

**Remus:**

_That isn’t the purpose of Secret Santa._

**Lily:**

That’s not how secret Santa works?

Oh, hi Rem! 

Merry Christmas to my favourite welsh boy x

**Remus:**

_I’m the only Welsh person that you know, Lily._

_Are you guys seriously (siriusly) telling each other who we have?_

_Can we at least wait until we are back in the dorms?_

**James:**

Don’t think me and pads will last

**Remus:**

_Fine._

_And in case anyone was wondering-_

_My plans are to GO BACK TO SLEEP._

_I think you all should do the same._

_Merry fucking Christmas._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

_Merry Christmas Re x_

_Got much planned?_

_??_

_U ok?_

_James said u guys texted…_

_Oh_

_Ok_

_We’ll talk soon?_

_Pls?_

_Ok_

_Xx_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Flatmates_ **

**James:**

whoever got me David Beckham life size cut out 

marry me

I’m SCREAMING HAHAHAAHAH

**Dorcas:**

_That would be me XD_

**James:**

I’m taller than David Beckham

it feels so gd

the power

**Dorcas:**

_Glad you like it James_

_U strange, STRANGE guy_

**James:**

Mary, u opened urs?

**Mary:**

‘How to train your dog’

‘How to train your boyfriend’

Excellent choice of reading- thank you...

James?

**James:**

guilty! 

**Mary:**

Brilliant

Wanna be trained, Sirius ;) 

**Sirius:**

_I’m an untamed man_

_I’m free to run through the wind_

**Lily:**

…

Okay…

Pete- I had u :)

**Peter:**

Can’t go wrong with an advent calendar filled with cheese, thank you

I had u too actually! 

**Lily:**

Ohhhhh

Well, can’t go wrong with vodka either ;) 

**James:**

how have u made an advent calendar phallic

**Lily:**

It’s very long and I put stress balls at the bottom just to fuck with him 

**James:**

Ur amazing 

**Dorcas:**

_I’m guessing mine is from Mary?_

**Mary:**

Yeah! 

How did u guess?

**Dorcas:**

_Lily has been taken_

_Marls told me she had Re_

_Ur the only one who would buy me clothes_

_But I love the jacket, thanks Mary x_

**Mary:**

No problem :) xx

**Marlene:**

_Dork! Spoilers!_

_Remus I had u heheheh_

**Remus:**

_Yes thank you, Marlene_

_For my monocle, walking stick and grey hair dye_

_But I will gladly accept the portable scrabble._

_Mum wants to play later-_

_Someone dare me to use a rude word._

**Marlene:**

_You’ve been dared._

**James:**

Dare u to use a dirty word dirty boy

**Sirius:**

_If u need help with a word gimme a text!_

_Rem, u had me didn’t u?_

**Remus:**

_Yeah._

**Sirius:**

_Thank u. I’ll have a bath later and use them._

**Lily:**

Ooh, what is it?

**Sirius:**

_Bath bomb set, oils and salts all that jazz_

**Mary:**

Oh

That's nice?

What scent?

**Sirius:**

_Lavender_

**Remus:**

_Lavender, it’s Sirius’ favourite._

**Mary:**

Didn’t know that

Hm, ok. Very nice Re. 

Who did u have, babe? x

**Marlene:**

_MEEEEE!_

_I don’t know how u found doc laces with fucking TITS on them_

_But I love them_

_My dad does not but fuck him!_

**James:**

I’m sure Re could do that for u…

**Remus:**

_It’s true, Marlene_

_I’m sorry you had to find out this way_

_But I’m in love with your father_

**Marlene:**

_But the only thing we had in common was that we both liked vag!_

**Remus:**

_Not anymore_

_Sorry not sorry_

**Marlene:**

_If I had to lose him, I’m glad it was to u xxx_

**Lily:**

RIGHT

Well this was fun

Thx again, Pete! 

**Sirius:**

_Yh thanks Re_

_Merry Christmas everyone x_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

_Seriously_

_(Siriusly)_

_Re… thank u for the present x_

_I got u something too_

_It’s just chocolate_

_But it was in the shape of a wolf_

_And u know_

_Ur Wolf McWolf_

_Mon loup :) x_

_Remus?_

_James said u texted him to tell me thanks?_

_I’m right here._

_Pls don’t do this_

_I know I fucked up_

_But r u done with me?_

_I don’t want that Re :(_

_Remus._

_U know what_

_Fuck u_

_I don’t need this shit rn_

_Text me when you’ve grown up._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**James:**

merry christmas Remdawg 

**Remus:**

_That’s a new one_

_And to you- and Sirius._

**James:**

thx m8

how’s Hope and my man Lyall?

**Remus:**

_Dad is grinning ear to ear knowing you called him ‘his’ man_

_Mum is fussing with hot chocolate_

_Ready to open presents in a bit_

_How are your parents?_

**James:**

still sleeping

Pads is gonna climb the walls in a min 

**Remus:**

_Haha_

_Talk later, Prongs_

_Have a good day x_

**James:**

U 2 m8 x

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**James:**

I’m gonna ask u

and I hope for a proper answer

what’s going on with u and pads?

**Remus:**

_Nothing?_

**James:**

convincing

so why is he sulking

N why aren’t u replying to his texts?

**Remus:**

_It’s not my place to say, James._

_Can you tell him thanks for the chocolate wolf?_

**James:**

nope.

I’m not some messenger

thank him urself

text him

**Remus**

_I can’t do that right now- can you please just thank him._

**James:**

K.

I did 

n now he's sulking more

what happened?

**Remus:**

_James._

**James:**

Remus. 

**Remus:**

_Ugh_

_Fine_

_Between you and me- okay?_

**James:**

ofc 

**Remus:**

_We had a bit of a fight_

_Before the cheerleader dance_

**James:**

I knew something happened

what about

**Remus:**

_Okay this is something you’re going to need to talk to Sirius about_

_But I pushed too hard_

_And he got upset_

_And I got angry_

_And I just need my space away from him for now okay?_

**James:**

I think he forgives u

he’s been sulking and talking about u all day 

n he really loves his gift btw 

U guys gonna be ok?

ur not gonna give him the silent treatment whilst at dorms r u?

**Remus:**

_I don’t know_

_It’s a bit awkward between us_

_He’s just texted me to tell me to grow up so…_

**James:**

yh that's pads tho innit

and tbh 

I think u need to grow up 2

ur the only one making it awkward by ignoring his messages 

ur prolonging something that doesn’t need to be prolonged 

I love u both 

n if neither of u wanna tell me what happened that's ok 

just know I’m here for u both 

n remember this is his first xmas without his deranged fam 

**Remus:**

_Yeah, you’re right…_

_I’m just not ready yet…_

_Is he okay?_

_I mean with the whole family thing?_

**James:**

I mean he got a card from them

telling him he’s disowned

something like that

he didn’t let me read

so he’s officially out of there

**Remus:**

_Shit_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Remus:**

_Hello_

**Sirius:**

Hey 

**Remus:**

_James told me about your family…_

_Is it about what I think it’s about?_

**Sirius:**

Kingsley. 

**Remus:**

_Shit_

_I’m sorry, Pads._

**Sirius:**

Nah 

They were right for doing so

Long time coming 

And this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had 

The Potters are lovely 

**Remus:**

_It’s good to hear you’re having a good Christmas_

_But your family weren’t right for disowning you for being gay..._

**Sirius:**

Ffs

I’m not gay

Can we stop having this conversation???

I’m literally with Mary

**Remus:**

_Here we go again_

_Look I’m just saying I’m sorry your family disowned you_

_For the reasons that they did_

_But you telling me that they were RIGHT to kick you out because of their beliefs of you being gay_

_Tells me that you’re a bit homophobic, Pads._

_That doesn’t feel good_

**Sirius:**

NO!

No I’m not homophobic!

Jesus Christ, Rem! 

Don’t think that of me, wtf?!

**Remus:**

_It’s the way you’re acting_

_And what you’re saying_

**Sirius:**

No! 

Remus! 

Please don’t think that of me, I just meant

It’s hard to explain. 

**Remus:**

_Fuck it._

_The reason why I’m messaging is to check you’re okay and wish you a merry Christmas._

_And I’m letting you know after everything that happened_

_I just need my space._

_You might have moved on, but I haven’t_

_Far from so actually._

_And then you go and say things like that…_

_And you’ve got a girlfriend_

_She’s on my case about sending you bath bombs for fucks sake._

**Sirius:**

I didn’t mean it in the way u think 

I promise 

Wdym about Mary?

I’m sorry for everything 

I still want to be friends, Remus

If space is what u need then have it

Just don’t shut me out completely?

Re?

Sorry- space.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Last Christmas is on the radio :)

It reminds me of u. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Hey

We played charades

James did 'gone with the wind' and literally marched around the room making fart noises

I got it straight away :) 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

We had Christmas cake

I’m not sure why it’s a thing tbh

I know u have an essay about it in ur head about how desserts shouldn’t have fruit in them ;)

Classic moony analysis. 

Hope ur enjoying a chocolate themed dessert :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

I told Mary off btw 

I told her about my panic attacks

I left urs out dw 

And she understands it wasn’t a boyfriend steal

I’m sorry she said that

She’s lovely, but she’s actually really insecure 

Apparently her grandad said she looked slutty at the dinner table ?!?!?

Bit fuming about that tbh

Ah well hope ur ok 

Talk soon

X

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

I see that u used ‘condom’ and ‘erection’ in scrabble 

I applaud u. 

But ur mum pulling out ‘lubricant’

Had my drink coming out of my nose 

And I choked so hard 

James had to slap my back 

He also found it funny btw 

Just not to choking level apparently 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Last Christmas is on again 

There’s not a lot of Christmas songs actually is there?

Anyways that’s all 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Oh and again 

Once bitten and TWICE AS SHYYYYYY

It’s actually quite a sad song

I’ve never listened to the lyrics before…

It reminds me of u tho

Just have a feeling it’s ur fave one?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Nope-

Fairytale of New York is ur fave 

100% 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Sirius:**

Night, Re.

Merry Christmas 

Xxx

**Remus:**

_‘Merry Christmas’ I wrapped it up and sent it_

_With a note saying ‘I love you’ I meant it :)_

_X_

**Sirius:**

Knew I shoulda stuck to George Michael ;) x


	5. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily's birthday shenanigans
> 
> TW: Minor homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! sorry this took a while to get out. The truth is, I really struggled writing this chapter and I'm still not 100% with it :/I'm probably going to take a little break from writing but do expect at least 1 more chapter this month. I have written below my plans for the fic is people are interested so maybe you'll get an update from one of those first? We shall see :)
> 
> I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this fic but in Sirius' POV pls let me know if you would like to see this?  
> I also want to make a fic of one shots of things that happen between each chapter, I have a few ideas already but if you guys want to see anything in particular let me know!  
> I also have a playlist which I will be updating with the songs used in the fic! You can have a listen here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgM2Opou2_SKff4hGUBjf58PcvHWdHjC1 or search: Legato (captain_lupin_x) on youtube.  
> I will be putting it at the start of every chapter to get your head into the fanfic!  
> If you have any song suggestions you want to see or think will fit, let me know and I will see what I can do!  
> Again- I'm here to shout out the lovely Shay(winterscaptsam) for all her support x  
> Anyways- enjoy the chapter, kudos and comments would be lovely!

**CHAPTER 5- _Changes_**

_“In music legato means to connect each note smoothly without much articulation between notes.”_

TW: Minor homophobia 

  
  


“It’s Bowie night at the Three Broomsticks this Saturday.”

Remus glanced up from his book, chewing on a grape and stared at Sirius who had interrupted the group’s silence. It was Monday evening in late January, and the gang were relaxing in their common room after a week filled with lessons and tests after their Christmas break. Remus sat on a stool in the kitchen, engrossed in his book for the new literature module, the rest sat on the sofas and chairs nursing beers or coffee. 

“It’s also my _birthday_ this Saturday, Sirius. No offence, but I don’t particularly want to go to our regular for my birthday.” Lily said, noticing Sirius’ eyes lighten up at the sound of David Bowie.

Sirius huffed. “Where else do you want to go? Where else _is there,_ Lily?!” He flopped back dramatically on the sofa, kicking his legs up on the coffee table. 

“Literally the entirety of London?” Lily replied, laughing a little. “I kinda wanna try out that new place, Leaky Cauldron?”

“Noooo!” Marlene interrupted, shaking her head fervently. “Me and Dorko went there when it first opened and some old dude put his hand on my thigh and I told him I was with Dorks and he called me a dyke.”

“I’m not a violent person, Lils, but the way I wanted to rip off his dumb ass moustache was getting concerning.” Dorcas added.

“Okay, absolutely _not_ there- What about that one that’s next to big Tescos?” 

“Rachel broke up with me there.” Peter pointed out, swigging his bottle of beer.

“Not there either then… ooh! What about the club-”

“No!” Sirius interjected. “Remus doesn’t do clubs.”

“I’ll go to a club if it’s for your birthday, Lils, don’t make a decision like this just because I hate the sight of people.” Remus quickly assured.

“Nah, Sev doesn’t like clubs either, I wouldn’t want to deal with him being moody all day, and I want you guys to meet some of the guys from my course, and you wouldn’t be able to hear each other in a club after all. The only other one I can think of is by the eye but I don’t fancy having to try and get back here after…”

She trailed off and made eye contact with Sirius who was grinning like the Chesire Cat.

“Fine!” She sighed. “Three Broomsticks it is.”

Sirius cheered and ran around the room accepting high fives from everyone. 

“Plus, Bowie night seems cool! I’ve got this blue suit I’ve always wanted to wear for an occasion, I could jazz it out to be him from the _Life Of Mars_ music video?” Lily added, excitement adorning her features. 

Once again, Remus felt a cold shiver run down his spine at the prospect of dressing up. He tried his best to smile, but as always, Sirius caught him.

“I’ll help you out.” He whispered to him before returning to his seat next to Mary, placing his arm along the back of the sofa. 

“And it’s a Saturday so you know what that means!” James hollered.

“Oh god someone stop him from singing, please?” Lily whined. 

“I have an idea, what if we make a bet? If James can make it the _whole week_ without talking _to_ or _about_ Lily, James gets to sing karaoke.” Marlene began. It seemed reasonable- until she cast a mischievous look towards Remus. “If he fails, Remus has to sing.”

“What? Why? That makes no sense! James is happy either way!” Remus shouted, causing the group to giggle.

“True, okay so if he fails, Remus sings karaoke, and never has to for the duration of the academic year, and James is not allowed to for the rest of the academic year either. I think that’s pretty fair?”

“So either way, I suffer. Thanks, Marlene you’re a gem.” Remus deadpanned, throwing a grape at her. 

“So dramatic, Lupin!” She laughed, “Go on boys, shake on it.”

James stood up and walked towards Remus. He lifted his hand to his mouth-

“I am _not_ spitting in your hand.” Remus declared, slapping his hand away and settling for shaking it.

“But spitting makes it more official!”

“Yeah, Remus, I think you should spit on James!” Sirius encouraged, a toothy grin enlightening his features. 

“I’m not-”

“The man asked you to spit on him, are you really going to deny his wishes?” 

Remus clamped his mouth shut, staring at Sirius incredulously before picking up a grape and squishing it into James’ hand.

“Did you just-”

“That’s all I’m offering- now go away.” He said in return, turning back to his book.

“Would you _please_ stop wasting my grapes, Remus?” Mary sighed, rubbing her hand down Sirius’ arm and back again.

“Oh, sorry, are they yours? I thought I bought them?”

“I bought them _for_ you, but still- I would prefer it if you _ate_ them rather than throw them at us.”

With a shit-eating grin, he took another and threw it at Mary-

-For it hit the back of Sirius’ head. He snapped his head to face him. Remus swallowed, looking anywhere other than to the other man. 

Since returning to the dorms, Remus and Sirius had barely said a word to each other, opting for sad smiles and desperately leaving the room if they were ever left alone. Remus felt like utter crap since Christmas ever since he openly admitted his feelings for Sirius… to only be shot down time and time again. He knew he needed to move on, and fast, but something, a voice, that sounded suspiciously like Sirius himself, told him to _hold on_ and to _wait._

James raised his eyebrow at the way Remus’ face reddened and slapped his back heartedly.

“Right then! I’m off to the gym, Evans do you wanna-”

“It’s been less than five minutes and you’ve already lost the bet, congratulations, Potter!” Lily teased and the room erupted with laughter.

“No! Starting from now!” Remus interjected, slapping James across the head with a muttered “ _idiot”_

“Fine, but if you think he will last the _week_ then you’re stupid.” Lily cackled.

“No, you’re stupid.” Remus mumbled like a child, and quickly slammed a hand to cover James’ mouth as he opened it. “James, I’m serious. I’m relying on you.”

“No, I’m Sirius!” Sirius cheered.

“Hi Sirius, I’m dad!” James cheered back, managing to wriggle out of Remus’ grip.

“I actually hate you all.” Remus groaned.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thanks for lunch, Re! Feel like we haven’t had _us_ time in so long.”

Remus smiled at Lily and moved his castle across the chessboard to take out her knight. 

“Check.” 

“Shit, I don’t know why I bother playing with you, you’re too good!” Lily laughed, dipping a carrot stick into the bowl of hummus and moving her king away. 

“Don’t compliment me, you know I can’t deal with it.” Remus replied, taking Lily’s queen with his castle. “Check.” 

“Yes, of course, sorry, _hot stuff_.” She smirked, taking his castle with her king.

“And for that comment-” He moved his queen. “Check _mate_ _.”_

“Remus Lupin, you sly, sly fox.” She said, shaking his hand. “Okay, can we play something dumb now, I saw Cards Against Humanity on the bottom shelf.”

Remus packed away the chessboard as Lily went to get their new game.

The games cafe was Lily and Remus’ favourite place to go. Before Christmas, they went every Wednesday for lunch (well, for carrot sticks and hummus as they _were_ struggling students after all) and Remus would have tea, Lily, hot chocolate. It had become a ritual since bumping into each other on campus the very first Wednesday of term, and awkwardly deciding to have their lunch together. Now, after many Wednesdays and parties in their dorms, they became best of friends. 

And they were very glad to continue said ritual as the new year began. 

Lily dealt the cards as Remus took his own bite of a carrot, gnawing on it to make it last longer. 

“That’s attractive.” Lily snorted.

Remus smiled, a big toothy grin, revealing bits of carrot and hummus stuck in his teeth. “What about now?” He said incoherently, chewing down the rest of his mouthful.

“You’ll always be hot stuff to me, Re.” 

He groaned, picking up his cards.

_Hey baby, come back to my place, I’ll show you_________

“Dead parents.” Remus said, plonking his card down. 

“Stranger danger.” Lily said, plonking her card down.

“Yours doesn’t make sense because if you’re showing me your place, then you already know me!” 

“Oh, Remus, you poor innocent soul.” Lily replied, patronisingly. “Yours is funnier anyhow, take the damn card.”

_I got 99 problems but ______ ain’t one!_

“Teenage pregnancy!” Lily giggled.

“My vagina.” Remus said with confidence, enough to gain a few glances from other members of the cafe.

“Fucks sake, yours is funnier, but because that old woman is looking at me like I just poisoned one of her eleven cats, I’m taking it.” Lily whispered harshly.

_I drink to forget _______

“Alcoholism!” Remus beamed with pride, gaining more looks from customers.

“The size of my penis!” Lily yelled even louder, gaining tuts from the old lady, who now stood up to leave with a frown.

Remus choked on his tea, pushing the card towards his friend.

_You are not alone, many Americans struggle with ______ every day._

“Sexting.”

“The amount of gay I am.” Remus announced with a grin.

“And they’re missing out!” Lily joked, handing the card over in defeat.

_What’s fun until it gets weird?_

“Three dicks at the same time.”

“Yes please!” Remus awed sarcastically before revealing his own card, “Cuddling.”

“Very different approaches.”

“Well, the same thing really.”

“I like to cuddle you! Don’t make it weird!” Lily gasped with an amused smile.

“Does that mean I get the card?”

“Absolutely not!” Lily shrieked, slapping Remus’ hand away from the card.

_Why am I sticky?_

“Necrophilia!” Remus cackled, earning a ‘ _shhhh!’_ from the cafe worker.

“Daddy.” Lily whispered.

“Gross!”

“Don’t have a daddy kink then, Re?” Lily asked, smirking.

“Why the _fuck_ would I want to be reminded of Lyall John Lupin when I’m with a partner?” 

“Well, I know _I_ would.” Lily winked at Remus’ grimace.

“Necrophilia has a double entendre!” 

“But daddy makes you blush and I say that’s a win.” Lily giggled, as Remus rubbed his face in embarrassment. 

“Do _you_ have a daddy kink?” Remus groaned in despair, but soon noticed the way Lily’s eyes widened. “Oh my god.”

“No-”

“Lily!” Remus mock-gasped. “I wonder what James will say when I tell him-”

“You can have the card!” Lily rushed, throwing the card in Remus’ general direction and covering her face with her mug of hot chocolate.

“Can we revisit this-”

“NO!” Lily screeched, reaching for a new black card to continue the game.

_What ended my last relationship?_

“Bitches.” 

“Self-loathing.” Remus gulped, putting the card down tentatively. 

The pair stared at the two cards left on the table in silence. It was broken by Lily passing the scenario card to Remus.

“Remus, you have to get over whatever happened with Sirius.” she said softly, her fingers reaching to twirl around Remus’.

“Nothing happened-”

“Oh, fuck off. You can pull this shit with the rest of the gang, even James, but not me. I’m your best friend, you can’t lie to me. I’ve given you your space and your secrets, but you’re _miserable_ and I need you to tell me what’s up because it’s fucking killing me seeing you this way.”

They fell back into silence.

“James is less pushy than you.” Remus grumbled, kicking Lily lightly on the shin. She smiled.

“Now _that_ surprises me. Okay, let’s go through it: you guys had some crazy sexual tension when we first started, then James mentioned to me that he caught you two acting weird in his bedroom-”

“That fucker!” Remus gasped. “What, so you all talk about Sirius and I behind our backs now?”

“Used to yeah.” Lily shrugged. “We all thought you’d end up together, and then he went after Mary. Even _Mary_ thought something was going on.”

“Oh god, she doesn’t _still_ think that does she?”

“Kinda. But Sirius has backed away from being around you, or you’ve backed away from him, I’m not sure. Re, what happened?” Lily asked again.

“We kissed.”

He wasn’t sure if Lily heard him until he looked up to see a sad smile.

“When? Was that when James found you two or-”

“Oh, no. Um, the day where we all dressed as cheerleaders for you-”

“Holy shit, that’s when he and Mary got together!” Lily puffed, but then realised her friend’s grimace, and quickly stood up to join him on his side of the table, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Re, I shouldn’t have pushed. I just hate seeing you unhappy, y’know? And as for Sirius, you’re going to disagree with me until you turn red but he’s being a dick-”

“No, he-”

“Please listen. He used to flirt with you all the time. I know you probably convinced yourself it was just his personality or that you were imagining it, but you weren’t. We were all there Halloween, he had eyes only for you, and you for him-”

“Yeah, and then he went and hooked up with that girl!”

“He didn’t. He saw you went to the bathroom, and we were all teasing him and he left in a strop and found the first girl he came across. When you left with what's-his-face, that girl threw her drink at him and he went back to the dorms soon after. And of course, he got his dumbass nickname that night because he was sad that it wasn’t _him_ you were going back with.”

Remus began to feel his carrot sticks and hummus churn in the pit of his stomach. He only slept with Gilderoy because he thought Sirius was with someone else- because he thought Sirius was the bad guy in this situation- but in reality, it was _him. He_ rushed Sirius, _he_ pushed him, _he_ slept with someone else. His throat constricted and he let out a strangled sob.

“Hey! Hey, no sweetheart.” Lily cooed, pulling Remus so his head rested on her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair. “I know what you’re thinking and I’m saying _no._ You’re a catch, Remus, and Sirius would be very lucky to have you. He’s missing out big time, and Mary is one of my closest friends.” 

He stilled his breathing using a technique fucking _Sirius_ told him about and focussed on Lily’s ministrations in his hair. 

“Listen, I think Sirius has been a dick, and I think he’s being a dick now. And do I think you and him would be better than him and Mary? Yes- but it doesn’t seem to be that way. Look, I know it’s hard, but you can’t wait for him forever. You deserve some happiness too.” She pressed a kiss to his head and he sat up, rubbing his eyes furiously.

“And how do I do that?” He murmured. 

“I have a guy in my core journalism course, I think you’d get on very well, I can give you his number? Or he’ll be coming to the bar with us on Saturday, I can strategically arrange everyone so you can sit with him?”

“I- I don’t know Lily, the last time I was with someone I now find out that my reasoning behind it all was wrong…”

“That’s okay, he’ll still be at the bar, I won’t say anything to him, we’ll see how it goes, yeah? Just promise me you’ll at least say hi, and not ignore him in favour of staring at Sirius all night?”

Remus scoffed, but nodded his head, sniffing.

Lily smiled in return, kissing his cheek and pushing the bowl of carrots towards him.

“You have the last carrot, love.”

“What would I do without you, Lily Evans?”

“You never have to find out.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Remus resigned to his fate of being the boring one of the group and not dressing up. It wasn’t Halloween anyways, and he felt his t-shirt with ‘ _we could be heroes, just for one day’_ written on it was good enough. (styled with the thickest of cardigans, of course.) He sat on his desk, typing away about the connections between family and conflict in Henrik Ibsen’s _A Doll House,_ humming along to the music through his headphones when he heard someone clear their throat at the door. He ripped his headphones out of his ears and swivelled to face a smirking Sirius, leant against the door frame with his armed crossed, an unlit cigarette dangling off of the edge of his lips.

“Sirius! Hi!” Remus’ voice cracked. _Get a hold of yourself damnit!_ He self-consciously ran a hand through his hair, knowing it hadn’t been washed for a few days and groaned inwardly at his largest, baggiest jumper and jogging bottoms that he wore.

Sirius chuckled, his cigarette bobbing at the movement and asked, “Was that _Changes_ by Bowie?”

“What?”

“You were humming something.”

“Oh.” Remus grabbed his phone and showed Sirius the screen, _Changes David Bowie._

“Ah, I was right, usually am.” He winked, finally removing the cigarette and tucking it behind his ear. “You practising for Saturday’s karaoke then? _Changes_ is a good one.” He made himself at home, flopping on the bed and taking _Romeo and Juliet_ from Remus’ bedside table, flicking through the pages.

“No, I’m not losing the bet.”

“You have a lot of confidence in James.” Sirius mused, the award-winning smile only he seemed to master adorning his features.

“Don’t you?” Remus gulped, opting to stare at a patch of mud stained on Sirius’ boot- which was soon transferring on to his duvet. 

“Remus, seriously-” He chuckled briefly like he usually did when anyone said _serious_ or _seriously._ “James Potter will never shut up about Lily Evans, I’m surprised he has lasted this long, to be honest. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him since Monday…”

“Me neither, actually.” 

“I feel like this is cheating.”

“Leave it out, _please_.”

“Anything for you, Moony!” Sirius hollered with yet another wink that made Remus’ stomach flutter. He turned on his seat back to his laptop and went back to typing out his essay. Sirius was quite content to lay on Remus’ bed, his copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ open in front of him, and an arm tucked under his head. 

Remus tried to focus. This was the first time they were willingly alone since they kissed, and Sirius was just so _calm._ Could he even read Shakespearian without needing a translation? When Remus felt he was able to write, Sirius would flip a page or sigh or fidget and it would make Remus tense up, and attempt to gain the strength to write his essay again. He spent about ten minutes staring at his screen, only having typed ‘suggesting that’ when he decided to turn his body so that the back of his chair was in front of him to face Sirius.

“Enjoying it?” He asked, nonchalantly.

“Hm?” Sirius murmured, reading a little longer before looking up.

He looked beautiful. There was no other way to describe him at this moment. If Remus could paint a picture, he would paint Sirius, just how he was, tongue between his teeth in concentration, grey, dazed eyes, eyebrows furrowed, hair static, his body relaxed. He rested the book on his stomach and flexed his other arm to join his other in resting behind his head. His t-shirt rose up a little, revealing a slither of pale skin by his stomach and Remus forced himself to look away. Sirius wore a knowing smirk _like fucking always_ and shrugged.

“I like Mercutio.”

“Of course you like Mercutio.” Remus snorted, resting his head on his hands on the back of the seat. 

“Well, he’s obviously the best character!” He cleared his throat and recited, “I am hurt. A plague o’ both your houses! I am sped! Is he gone, and hath nothing?” with a dramatic flair, raising a hand to his forehead daintily. 

“You can’t be serious right now?”

“Actually, right now I’m _Mercutio._ ” Sirius replied with a grin. He rushed off of the bed and fell to his knees in front of Remus, grabbing hold of his knees. “Help me into some house, Benvolio, Or I shall faint. A plague o’ both your houses! They have made worms’ meat of me: I have it, And soundly too: your houses!” With that, he held up a fist and pretended to jab it into his stomach like a sword, and stuck his tongue out. He flopped his head on to Remus’ knee and made himself boneless.

“Um...” Remus responded after a while, the sight of Sirius’ hair fanning out on his lap not doing any favours.

“You’re supposed to give me a round of applause.” Sirius whispered harshly, not moving from his spot.

“Oh right, woo, bravo, your talent is wasted.” Said Remus, impassively.

Sirius sat up with a mock-frown plastered on his face.

“When I’m famous and I get my Emmy for being the best Mercutio to have ever graced the stage in the world, I shall say in my speech: I would like to thank me, myself, and I for all the support they’ve given me in this difficult career, and absolutely _no thanks_ to Remus John Lupin who watched my debut performance and didn’t _immediately_ shower me with flowers and chocolate.”

“That’s oddly specific but you have my deepest, _sincerest_ apologies that I don't have roses in my room.”

“Ah but you’re Remus! So I know you have chocolate.” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Touch my chocolate and I’ll fuck you up.” Remus replied.

Sirius let out a wondrous laugh, deep from within his chest, something that was difficult to witness without joining in yourself, and Remus _hated_ him for it. 

“Anyways, I just popped in to check in on you, have you got your Bowie Night outfit planned?”

“And here I thought you came into my room to make a mess.” Remus said, pointing to his bed, which was indeed, a little muddy from Sirius’ boots, and his duvet wrinkled- his copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ left open in the middle of it.

“Got to leave my mark somewhere!” Sirius beamed, standing up and throwing Remus’ wardrobe open. “Right, what have we got here.”

Remus felt goosebumps prickle his skin as the sense of Déjà vu hit him like a ton of bricks.

“I- I have a top actually, it’s got a Bowie quote on it, I think that’s enough.” 

“No! There has to be something-”

“I said I think that’s enough.” Remus interrupted, a little more firmly, his brain plaguing him with similar memories which led to teary confessions and a near-kiss, and his heart infested him with frantic beating; he wanted to pull it out of his chest and throw it out the window in the hopes a double-decker bus would run over it as it went over the speed limit. 

“Alright.” Sirius grumbled, moving to perch on the end of the bed again, head held low. “Just thought it would be something we could do _together_ that’s all.”

The boys were plunged into silence. Sirius began to pick away at his already-chipped black nail polish and Remus watched him nervously, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. How did it get to this? How had it got to the point where they had to walk on eggshells around each other? When was the _exact_ moment that they stopped looking at each other for more than a few fleeting seconds before distracting themselves elsewhere? 

“What- um- what are you and- er Mary going as?” Remus asked though he didn’t want the answer.

“Goblin King.” Sirius answered, still a bit grumbled but he had a lilt of a smile.

“Of course.” Remus sighed to himself. O _f fucking course Sirius Black would not pass up the oppurtunity of tight leather trousers and picking a character which was his sexual awakening._ “Ah right, and Mary as hallucination Sarah?”

“Nah she’s just wearing a dress, she said I could draw some shit on her face though, but I don’t think she actually wants me to.” Sirius looked up, an eyebrow lifting upwards. 

Remus squirmed under his gaze knowing full well what Sirius was implying. He wasn’t going to give in, absolutely not, no way-

“I guess you could do mine instead then.”

_Fucks sake._

Sirius’ smile lit up the whole room. 

“I don’t want random shit on my face, Pads.”

“I would never!” Sirius feigned offence, a hand touching his chest. 

“What will you do then?”

“It’s a surprise.” and he winked _again_ and Remus had had enough. 

“About Gilderoy, I didn’t-”

“OI! _RE_ AST INFECTION, I BOUGHT YOU MAGIC STARS!” 

James barged in the room with a large grin, holding two packets of magic stars. He noticed Sirius and his smile grew wider.

“Did you just- did you just nickname me after a _fungal vaginal infection?_ ” Remus stammered, shell-shocked.

“That I did, Re, that I did.” He patted Remus’ head, throwing one pack on his lap, before joining Sirius on the bed, opening the other and grabbing a handful of chocolate-shaped stars and throwing them in his mouth. Sirius seemed to find the situation silently hilarious, holding back laughter as he, too, took a handful of magic stars. “So, what’s going on here then, lads! You having a shindig without me?” 

“Moony just agreed for me to paint his face for Bowie night, you know, for _Lily’s_ birthday?”

“Ah, that’s- well I was going to say _great_ but your pirate makeup wasn’t all that good, mate.” 

“Hey! He pulled off the eyeliner!” 

“That he did!” James agreed, joyously, revelling in the blush on Remus’ cheeks. “How long do you think we can keep going with complimenting him before he explodes?” He fake whispered, earning a highlighter pen thrown at his face. “First grapes, now pens?”

“Oh yeah, thanks for that by the way, I had mushed up grape in my hair after you threw one at my head.” Sirius mused, pouting.

“I was aiming for Mary.” Remus muttered, maybe with a bit too much aggression as the boys stopped laughing. 

“So-” James cleared his throat, reaching for more chocolate. “Did you enjoy your Wednesday carrots and hummus?” 

“You can talk about her if you want, James. I won’t tell.”

“I will!” Sirius interjected, raising a hand.

James rubbed his face in annoyance; Sirius laughed at him.

“Oh come on, mate, you can’t have seriously-” another chuckle, “lost your head about this girl. You’re mad-”

“I’m in love with her,” James said suddenly, wincing. “I’m not mad, I’m not _obsessed,_ I genuinely have feelings for Lily fucking Evans and it annoys the fuck out of me that you all make fun of it. I _know_ I’m ridiculous in the way I try to get her attention, I realise that, but it’s who I am! I love to love, and with _her,_ I’m just- well, a _twat,_ first and foremost, but I don’t know how to act _normally_ around her! She’s wonderful, like a fucking badass angel, she’s so clever and beautiful, and she’s so great to everyone, has one of those kind hearts- and she’s with that fucking twat, an even bigger twat than I am. He’s got no soul and I’m worried he’s sucking hers away- I don’t want that to happen, her soul is the loveliest part of her.”

Remus stared at James, who had mussed his hair with his hands with his rambling, and Sirius did the same.

“Well fuck.” Sirius finally said, “I thought you were doing it as a joke, I didn’t realise you were actually in love with her.”

James let out a non-committed hum. “Yeah, I am.” a beat- “I suppose you’ll be telling everyone I broke the bet.”

“I’ll let you off this once. But anything else about her from this moment, I should let you know, I’m putting on my phone recorder. Not long left to go now, mate, then you can talk about her all you like. Now you’ve told us what you truly feel, we can give you some assistance. _Proper_ assistance, none of this background dancing shit, although that is fun actually, we can do that sometimes-”

“What Pads _means_ to say is that we are happy for you, and proud, and we will help you where necessary and appropriate.” Remus added, a genuine, comforting smile gracing his face.

“Thanks, guys, love you.”

“Love you too Prongsy.” Sirius cheered, tackling him into a headlock and rubbing hair.

“Oi! Leave my hair alone, I’ve got to look good for Evans!”

“Okay, you can’t get away with that one.” Sirius scoffed, finally letting go of his friend. “Get ready, Moony! Karaoke awaits!”

“James you were right.” Remus said.

“What about?”

“You _are_ a twat.”

“I save all my best features for you.” James chortled.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Remus:**

_Lily, help me_

_I’m freaking out big time._

**Lily:**

Why what have u done?

What has Sirius done?

**Remus:**

_Why do you automatically think my freakouts are to do with Sirius?_

**Lily:**

…

**Remus:**

_Okay, yes, it’s about Sirius._

**Lily:**

Thought so

Whats up?

**Remus:**

_Well firstly,_

_Happy Birthday_

_I said it earlier, I know but_

**Lily:**

TY

But stop stalling

**Remus:**

_Right,_

_Well I was in his room_

_He was putting makeup on me_

_But he doesn’t just sit me on a chair and bend down to do it_

_He lays me down on the bed_

_And fucking straddles me_

_I think you know where this is going so I don’t have to elaborate_

**Lily:**

Oh my god 

PLEASE elaborate

**Remus:**

_You’re cruel._

_Well, okay, we were in a compromising position_

_And Sirius moves a little and_

_Well, the blood from the blush on my cheeks_

_Rushed somewhere else if you get my drift._

_I tried to not think about it_

_But he kept moving, Lily._

_He._

_Kept._

_Moving._

_And Mary walks in and is confused and I don't blame her_

_And Sirius tells her to stop overreacting_

_But I know she knows_

_About my little problem_

_So I panicked and ran away_

_And now I’m in my room_

_With a half-coloured-in lightning bolt drawn across my eye_

_And a raging hard-on._

_There’s my elaboration._

**Lily:**

Brb

I’m SCREAMING 

Also, ‘little’ problem? 

I doubt that entirely, hot stuff ;)

**Remus:**

_Yes, thank you, Lily._

_You're a great help._

**Lily:**

What do u want me to do?

Go sort out ur GARGANTUAN problem

And come to bar

Me, Marls, Dorks and Sev r here

James and Pete just got here

And my course buddies.

Ooh!

Maybe don’t sort out ur problem

Fabian is here he’d probs like it ;)

**Remus:**

_You’re a liability._

_Happy fucking Birthday, bitch._

**Lily:**

Love you too bitch :* 

BTW

Marlene agrees with me x

**Remus:**

_About what?_

_Lily?_

_LILY_

_ABOUT WHAT_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Marlene:**

Alright, hot stuff!

How’s the boner?

**Remus:**

_I hate you._

**Marlene:**

That’s funny

Ever considered a career in comedy?

**Remus:**

_Ever considered a career in shutting the fuck up?_

**Marlene:**

OOF

So harsh

**Remus:**

_Sorry, I didn’t mean that_

_I’m all wound up._

_I’ve left the dorms now I’ll be there in ten._

**Marlene:**

Nah, ur alright :) 

But wound up u say ;))))))))

**Remus:**

_Go away._

**Marlene:**

:DDDDDDD

Or should I say…

8=====D 

**Remus:**

_NEVER do that again._

**Marlene:**

Sorry- I meant

8==========================D

**Remus:**

_Bye._

**Marlene:**

PAHAHAHA

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Operation: Remus’ Redemption_ **

**Lily:**

_Thought it would be easier to message all together_

**Marlene:**

I can continue here then?

Okay!

8==============================D

**Lily:**

_I don’t want to know what u guys were talking about._

**Remus:**

_Nothing special, Lily_

_No thanks to you._

_What's 'Remus’ Redemption’?_

**Marlene:**

Me n Lily think u need to get over Sirius

**Lily:**

_*Lily and I_

**Remus:**

_*Lily and I_

_And Jesus Christ_

_What’s been said between you two?_

**Marlene:**

LiLy aNd I

Nothing actually!

But now you’ve confirmed that u obviously have a thing for Sirius

N me and Lily

**Remus:**

_*Lily and I_

**Marlene:**

Have been talking since Halloween

More so after the hey Lily fiasco. 

We are team Sirius and Remus 100%

But he’s not in the same headspace

Even tho sometimes he clearly is without realising.

So u will be sitting with me tonight 

I’m sat next to Fabian

**Lily:**

_That’s the guy in my course Re_

_I think u guys will get on_

**Remus:**

_I gathered._

_Lily is less pushy_

**Lily:**

_Wow Marls_

_He said that James was less pushy than me_

_U must be something else_

**Marlene:**

Oh I am

Just ask Dorcas ;) 

Either way

Remus, I approve of Fabian

Very clever 

Good ethics

Tall 

I don’t wanna say hes hot but Lily?

**Lily:**

_I can confirm all of that_

_And yh hes hot_

**Marlene:**

There we go

We both approve

And we are the only opinions that matter

**Remus:**

_Does mine account for something?_

**Marlene:**

Oh sweetie...

Oh darling...

Oh gorgeous...

**Remus:**

_I take that as a no then._

**Marlene:**

Good boy!

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

When Remus entered the pub, he noticed James _straight_ away. He was hard to miss really; he decided to wear a bright orange wig styled as a mullet. How he had so many wigs was beyond him _._ He was stood at the bar with Peter, who, as usual, was dressed in his usual attire, checkered shirt and some jeans. Remus was starting to feel a little self-conscious with his ridiculous face makeup, half-done but certainly glittery. He scanned the crowd looking for Lily and their friends, hands burrowing themselves further inside his warm cardigan with anxiety. He saw them, fairly quickly, Marlene waving frantically, not so subtly darting her eyes next to her where a red-headed man sat, deep in conversation with someone else that Remus didn’t recognise. His initial anxiety ebbed when noticing that the man also had a ridiculous lightning bolt across his face, except his was finished and far more glittery. He felt a smile creep up on him, much to his shock. 

He began his walk to the table, taking big strides and arriving at the same time as James and Peter. 

“Hello, Moony! Padfoot not with you?” James asked.

“Err- no.” He choked, choosing to sit in the unoccupied seat across from Marlene, earning him a glare and a pointed look towards the empty seat next to Fabian.

“Moony?” Sev sneered.

“That’s an interesting name! I’m Fabian.” The red-headed man reached across the table to shake Remus’ hand. He reciprocated with a blush, Fabian’s hand strong, and Marlene’s grin mischievous. 

“Er, no my name is Remus, Moony is just a silly nickname Prongs here came up with on a drunken night. Nice to meet you.”

Fabian smiled at him, something genuine and it made him look younger somehow. He blushed further when he realised he had been staring.

“Remus, this is _Fabian._ “ Lily said, “and you’ve met Sev, this is Caradoc, this is Dora, and this is Evan. Guys, this is none other than Remus Lupin. Just Dance extraordinaire, chocolate enthusiast, tall motherfucker-”

“Yes okay.” Remus hissed, reddening so much he thought he must resemble a tomato by now.

“Why are you so tall?” Dora asked, a bit aggressively.

“Errr…”

“Dora! Don’t mind them, Remus, they have no social skills.” Caradoc intervened. He was quite muscly, with a strong jaw and a simple blonde haircut. He didn’t seem to enjoy the Bowie festivities and opted for wearing a simple white shirt and light blue jeans.

“It's okay, neither am I.” Remus joked, “What I think happened was that I was born and then genetically modified so that I would be strategically placed around short-arses, so then people can comment on it, which sets off my social ineptness.” 

“Wow.” Dora laughed. “That sounds believable.” 

They had one of the most awesome mullets Remus had ever seen, one half of their head hot pink, the other lilac. They had striking blue eyeshadow which they extended all the way to their ears, and had three pairs of different coloured lightning bolt earrings. Their general aesthetic screamed Bowie, Sirius would love them. 

“Oi! Speak for the rest of the riff-raff, I’m not a short-arse!” James complained, plonking a vodka Redbull and a peach schnapps shot in front of Remus.

“Shots already, James?” 

“Yeah! It’s my birthday! Are we all okay to go back to dorms when we’re finished here? We were talking about birthday parties and Marlene brought up spin the bottle and I literally haven’t played that since I was 13.” Lily cheered, shooting James a smile.

“Fuck yeah!” Marlene shrieked, “Here’s to having your first heterosexual kiss, Re, hey?”

Remus groaned, taking the shot. 

“What’s heterosexual?” Evan, who had been silent up until now, asked curiously. He also didn’t appear to want to be involved with Bowie night, wearing a black beanie and a simple black top and black jeans.

“The opposite of homosexual, Evan. You know, _normal, straight.”_ Severus replied, shooting a sly scowl towards Remus.

“Excuse me?” Marlene raised her voice, gripping hold of Dorcas’ hand until they were both whitening with the intensity.

“You didn’t mean that, Sev, right?” Lily worried, eyes darting between all of the people on the table, most of them horrified and angry.

“No, not in the way you took it, I meant normal for _him._ My apologies.” 

He didn’t seem very apologetic at all, but Lily seemed to accept it and kissed him on the cheek. Marlene glanced at Remus shaking her head and scowling at Severus. 

Marlene and Dorcas had blue eyeshadow too, only they had matching winged eyeliner in pink, something Remus imagined Dorcas doing for the both of them. Dorcas wore green dungarees with geometric shapes on them that screamed the 80s, with an oversized zip-up hoody over the top. Marlene wore a sequined leopard-print crop top with a red blazer. After Severus’ (who wore some preppy suit in the most common of common bars like some psychopath) off comment, they kept themselves to themselves, whispering harshly to each other but never letting go of each other’s hands, and only pausing to glare daggers at Severus. Evan seemed to accept the definition he was given, so Remus decided to stay clear from him, he probably felt the same way about Remus, too, seeing how he failed to make any eye contact since his arrival, and stared solemnly at the table. Dora looked as annoyed as Marlene did, except they _kicked_ Sev under the table, claiming it was an accident, but smirking into their drink whilst apologising. Fabian looked a bit peeved too, though he didn’t make any comment, sipping on his beer. James, however, looked as though he was going to take his glass and _smash_ it over Severus’ head. He was _seething,_ and Remus now knew it was more to it than jealousy and for the slight homophobia- James was right, Severus was a soul-sucking fuck face; Lily was far too good for him. Remus patted James’ shoulder lightly, earning a slap in the back in return. 

As if the scene couldn’t get any more awkward, Sirius and Mary decided to make an appearance. Mary’s hair was dishevelled and she had missed a button on her dress, and Sirius, well Sirius-

Sirius was perfect. 

Sirius was always perfect

Sirius was _mouth-wateringly_ perfect dressed as the fucking Goblin King. 

“There they are! What took you guys so long?” Lily greeted.

“Happy birthday, Evans! I don’t think you want me to answer that question, it’s not polite to say at the dinner table.” He winked, and winked again at a giggling Mary. 

“Right, well I’ll introduce you to everyone so you can sit your arse down.”

Once introduced, the couple searched the table for somewhere to sit, there being no seats placed next to each other.

“Prongs, Wormy, do you mind-”

“Remus, you wanna sit next to me? Give the late arrivals some space?” Fabian asked, patting the seat next to him.

Remus looked up at Sirius who had clenched his jaw at Fabian.

“Actually, I think Moony would like-”

“I don’t mind at all actually.” Remus interrupted, standing up and moving around the table to sit with Fabian.

Sirius’ jaw remained clenched as Peter wordlessly moved up a seat so he and Mary could sit together. Remus noticed Marlene raising an eyebrow at him and shaking her head again. Lily craned her neck to look at Remus and smiled gleefully when they made eye contact.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lily:**

Proud of u xx

Talk to Fabian kk? Xx

**Remus:**

_Yeah, I will_

_Thanks, Lils_

_Love you xx_

**Lily:**

Love u too xx

**Remus:**

_You look amazing by the way!_

_Blue suits you_

_I demand you wear it more often._

**Lily:**

Ahhh TY!!!!

Thats what Marls said!

Sev doesn’t like blue tho 

Dont answer me

Talk to Fab!

x

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Marlene:**

_Did you see Sirius!!!!_

_It makes me mad_

**Lily:**

Ik

He doesn't have a right to be jealous

He has a gf 

Feel bad for Mary tbh 

**Marlene:**

_God me too!_

_Can't be mad at him for long tho_

_Love myself a bit of Sirius Black_

_In the most lesbian way possible_

**Lily:**

Oh 100%

Wish he worked out his feelings quicker

Poor guy

N poor Re :(

**Marlene:**

_Wouldn't say poor Re atm…_

_He and Fabian r getting on well!_

_I think I saw Re touch his arm when he laughed_

_Classic move_

**Lily:**

That would explain why Sirius just took 3 shots lmao 

**Marlene:**

_I just wanna bash their heads together_

_Do u think Sirius will change?_

**Lily:**

Honestly?

idk 

**Marlene:**

_I ship Remus and Sirius until I die_

_But I can't lie_

_Fabian seems gd for him_

**Lily:**

Right!!! 

U gonna sing?

I was gonna do life on mars 

To show off the blue suit 

But Sev said it would be embarrassing :( 

**Marlene:**

_Ugh_

_Fuck Sev._

_I’ll duet u_

_Tho u will show me up_

_Lily Evans in a blue suit?????_

_SMOKING_

**Lily:**

Stop teasing me or I’ll leave him for u;) 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We’re waiting on you, Moony!” Sirius slurred, throwing an arm around Remus after his more than impressive show of _Rebel Rebel._

Sirius was _drunk._ Therefore, whoever stood in his bubble was awarded with hugs, kisses and caresses. It looked as though Evan wanted the ground to swallow him whole when he was the reciprocate of a smacking sloppy kiss to the forehead. 

“Ah yes! We get to hear your lovely voice instead of James’ this evening. I can tell he hates it, look at him he’s practically shaking in his seat!” Marlene cackled, pointing to James who was drumming the table with his fingers, staring towards the stage.

The rest of the group laughed, well, apart from Evan who had decided to just _disappear._ Remus stopped abruptly when he caught what James was truly looking at-

Lily and Sev were dancing to someone’s karaoke version of _Modern Love,_ Lily kicking and twirling and Severus looking very uncomfortable, rooted to the spot, but with a large grin on his face. She laughed heartily, leaning back as Severus held on to her. She sprang back up and kissed him lightly before going back to dancing.

No wonder James was like he was. Remus took pity on his friend and manoeuvred a drunk Sirius to land on James’ lap.

“Proooooonngssss!” he drawled, wrapping both arms around his neck in a tight hug. James raised an eyebrow at Remus who only winked in return. Fabian passed him a shot of tequila, a wedge of lime and an opened salt sachet in all.

“For luck?” He offered with a soft smile. 

“Sure.”

They held eye contact when licking a line of salt off of their wrists, followed by the shot, and continued their eye contact when sucking on the lime. 

The evening had been interesting, to say the least. Fabian was truly a great guy; he and Remus had a lot in common: their favourite books were a mix of Nineteen-Eighty-Four and Moby Dick; they both _hated_ sport; they both thought Queen was overrated (which caused quite a drunken debate with Sirius who was a big Queen fan.) they were both fairly introverted, both liked vodka…

...both were _gay,_ which was a nice change of pace for Remus after the fuck-ups of relationships he has had in the past, and his _current problem,_ of whom had been shooting daggers whenever Remus or Fabian laughed or decided to go to the bar together. Remus didn’t understand why Sirius had _such a problem_ with Fabian. Or him. Maybe it was him. Oh god, it was the makeup earlier wasn’t it? He was embarrassed and horrified of Remus and was trying to warn Fabian? He preferred Fabian’s makeup? He _was in love with_ Fabian? Shit, he was spiralling he needed to calm down. He passed Fabian his empty shot glass, their fingers touching lightly but purposefully.

“Right, I'm off then.” Remus declared, earning whoops and hollers as he hastily strode towards the stage. 

He inwardly groaned when he spotted Fenrir Greyback waiting at the corner of the stage with the microphone, a fiendish grin on his face.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Remus Lupin! I thought I saw you here! I was also very excited to see your name on the sheet. Changes is a good one.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” Remus replied, stiff with discomfort.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, darling, how are you?”

“Er- yeah I’ve been good, went home to see the family for the holidays, you?”

“Ah, I worked Christmas Day, no family to go back to, unfortunately.”

“Oh, er- sorry.” Remus’ voice died down in his throat of the sheer-awkwardness of it all. 

“Remus. I don’t really celebrate Christmas, you must know, but I did think about you this year.”

“Oh! Um-”

“I missed you, I think it would be wonderful if we went for dinner soon, what do you think?” Fenrir advanced on him, wrapping a cold, boney hand around Remus’ wrist, tightly.

“I- um, that’s really _nice_ of you-”

“I know a really delicious Italian place not too far away from my place. I bet you would love the bruschetta, it’s to _die_ for.” He squeezed a little harder, making Remus gasp. “What do you say, darling?”

“Hey, babe! You going up to sing now?” Remus felt a hand wrap around his waist, and his body pulled towards someone. Fenrir dropped his hand as if it burnt him. Remus stared at Fabian in shock. He only looked back with a smile and raised an eyebrow pointedly. 

“Yeah, yeah I am, we’re going after this, right?” Remus fell into the act, moving his own arm to grip Fabian’s waist. 

“If you want, this guy bothering you?” he nodded towards Fenrir who was- was he _growling?_

“No! No he’s-”

“Who’s this?” Fenrir spat. 

“This is-” 

_Say it, go on._

“This is Fabian, my-”

_Say it, say it goddamn it!_

“My-”

_Say it!_

“My boyfriend.” He blurted. How convincing. 

It seemed to be enough for Fenrir though, who sniffed once, head held high in the air and nodded, passing him the microphone.

“See you in a bit, babe. You’ll be great.” Fabian said, leaning forward and stuttering with his movements slightly. _Was he going to kiss him?_

Remus settled it and angled his head to press a chaste kiss to Fabian’s cheek and let him go. Fabian’s eyes lit up with hope and smiled sweetly, walking backwards towards the dancefloor to meet up with Lily. Remus smiled in response, stepping up to the stage when Fenrir grabbed his wrist again.

“Have you told _him_ about your relationship?” he whispered harshly, nodding his head towards where he had come from.

Sirius invaded his line of vision. He noticed he was standing nearby, frozen in space with hurt painted in his eyes. He was close enough to have heard and to have seen everything. Remus gawped at him as he ran a hand in his hair and tripped to leave Remus’ line of sight. He snatched his hand away from Fenrir’s grasp, noting his feral smirk and stood centre stage. 

He noticed that the gang were on the dance floor, eagerly staring at him as the instrumental tune of _Changes_ filled the bar. Lily gave him two thumbs up and began dancing with Fabian who smiled at him reassuringly. Marlene, Dorcas, Pete and Dora were there too, dancing as a four. Caradoc with Mary, Sev sat down with a scowl and Sirius and James sat the furthest away in some sort of deep conversation. Remus stared at them and darted his eyes back to Lily, his _guardian angel_ who waved a hand of dismissal towards the two boys. _Exactly._ Remus thought, _fuck Sirius, I’m moving on._

_Still don't know what I was waitin' for_

_And my time was runnin' wild_

_A million dead end streets and_

Marlene raised her arms in the air, releasing a loud shriek as if she were at a concert. He rolled his eyes at her, eyes zoning to Lily who had a slack jaw in shock. He fidgeted awkwardly, not particularly enjoying everyone’s eyes on him. 

_Every time I thought I'd got it made_

_It seemed the taste was not so sweet_

He saw Fenrir raise an appreciative eyebrow and decided to not look in that direction again. Lily and Fabian were talking with each other, Lily with a knowing smirk and Fabian looking bemused. He noticed that Pete was filming him so flipped him off, which earnt laughs from the pub’s customers. 

_So I turned myself to face me_

_But I've never caught a glimpse_

_How the others must see the faker_

_I'm much too fast to take that test_

James had joined the floor now, pushing a limp Sirius in front of him. He made brief eye contact with the latter, the grey-blues were vulnerable and Remus felt his heart skip a beat. _It wasn’t fair._ Saving himself from misery, he switched his gaze to James who cupped his hands around his mouth joining him for the chorus.

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_Don't want to be a richer man_

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_There's gonna have to be a different man_

Marlene slapped James on the chest and he stopped his yelling. He noticed Dora was handing the group shots of some sort on a tray. Remus signalled them over, and they went with ease.

_Time may change me_

_But I can't trace time_

He knelt down, accepting his shot and swigging it down.

“Lily never mentioned she had a singer in the group!” Dora exclaimed, handing Remus another shot, which he took gratefully.

“That would be because Lily did not realise she _did_ have a singer in the group!” Joined Lily, pulling a grinning Fabian with her. 

He winked at her, and stood back up, reeking with unexpected confidence.

_I_ _watch the ripples change their size_

_But never leave the stream_

_Of warm impermanence_

_And so the days float through my eyes_

_But still the days seem the same_

The group had now formed some sort of line, arms around each other’s shoulders swaying to Remus’ voice. He thought he saw Severus roll his eyes, but quickly focussed on someone else- Sirius- no that was a bad idea, he still looked like a wounded puppy- Mary- she had a tight smile, maybe it wasn’t good to look at her either. His heart panged. He realised he missed Mary a lot. They were fairly close before Christmas, and now he had well and truly fucked things up. She wouldn’t want to be close again and Remus knew he deserved it. If she weren’t with Sirius, she would be _exactly_ the person he would go to for advice about Sirius, now though, well, he felt it would be a bit awkward: _Hi, Mary, I have a big fat crush on your hunk of a boyfriend, so tell me, what’s he like in bed?_ He shook the thoughts from his head and moved his eyes to the other side of the line- Fabian. Yes. 

_And these children that you spit on_

_As they try to change their worlds_

_Are immune to your consultations_

_They're quite aware of what they're goin' through_

Fabian radiated the chance of new beginnings, of hope, of something special. He needed to _trust_ that. 

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_Don't tell them to grow up and out of it_

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_Where's your shame?_

_You've left us up to our necks in it_

_Time may change me_

_But you can't trace time_

Remus extended his arms out in a floaty dance, paying all of his attention to Fabian, and Fabian only paid attention to him. They had their eyes locked together, challenging the other to look away.

_Strange fascinations fascinate me_

_Ah, changes are taking_

_The pace I'm goin' through_

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_Ooh, look out, you rock 'n' rollers_

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch-ch-changes_

_Pretty soon now you're gonna get older_

_Time may change me_

_But I can't trace time_

_I said that time may change me_

_But I can't trace time_

His friends all shouted the last lyrics with him, raising their drinks in some sort of solidarity. Remus had the sudden urge to drop the microphone in his own move of solidarity and confidence, but he had a telling off from Flitwick after Halloween about his _gay and horny_ speech. He settled for walking to the side of the stage, and passing the microphone to Fenrir without making eye contact, already seeing his group of friends make their way towards him. 

“Just Dance extraordinaire _and_ singer!” Lily cheered.

“You kept that hidden, mate! If I had known you could sing, I would have made a bet with you ages ago.” James called from the back of the group.

“Would you have done, really?” Peter asked, stretching his vowels in disbelief.

“Nah.” James laughed. “Could have duetted me many a time, Remus Lupin, it might have helped me out with-”

“Are we quite done here?” Severus sneered.

“Yes! Dumbass party games await!” Lily shrieked, pulling Sev out of the bar, creating a conga-line of drunk students following them until only Remus, Fabian and Sirius remained. Remus eyed Sirius shiftily, unsure of how to react to the look of awe on his face. 

“Amazing.” Sirius whispered.

Remus nodded once at him and outstretched a hand to fit into Fabian’s, desperately trying to scribble the look of betrayal and longing on Sirius’ face out of his brain.

“Come on, I’d like to get blackout drunk now.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus had decided to go home, saying that drunk party games were childish to which Lily stuck out her tongue to. She didn’t seem all that bothered that her boyfriend wasn’t coming to her birthday party, Remus decided he would talk to her about it later. The group was stupid (and drunk) enough to let Marlene create her Magic Mix™, hence why they were all giggling sat around their coffee table. Remus was pretty sure there were no mixers in Marlene's concoction of full bottles of malibu, rum and vodka apart from one Smirnoff Ice bottle (normalise using Smirnoff Ice as a mixer people!) It was positively disgusting, and they all had to dig it out of James’ sock drawer which he emptied and took into the common room. Remus _thought_ he had to pull a variation of fluff and thread from his mouth whenever he neared the bottom of his cup, it was best not to think too far into it.

They had played truth or dare, that was why James had a dick drawn on his forehead, Sirius was speaking solely in French, Dora had blue highlights on the purple side of their head, Fabian had no shirt, and the reason why they were laughing to Mary’s confession of having a secret crush on the KFC Colonel. 

“I bet he’s finger-licking good!” Dorcas cackled, taking a shot of orange juice, which should have probably been put in Marlene’s Magic Mix™, but they were drunk and it was Lily’s birthday! 

“He can lick my finger anytime- no wait that’s not what I meant!” Mary slurred, bursting into giggles with the rest of the group. 

“Je voudrais te lécher, mon amour.” Sirius supplied, waggling his eyebrows. 

Remus cleared his throat. He cursed the gods (and Peter, who dared him to do so) that Sirius was dared to speak French until the end of the game. His foggy brain wasn’t as good as ignoring Sirius and his effect on him as when he only felt a little tipsy. He wriggled when Sirius stared at him, sipping his drink whilst doing so. 

“I finished my bottle of beer!” Caradoc announced, slamming the glass bottle on the table.

“Yes! Finally, spin the bottle!” Lily clapped her hands excitedly, reaching for the bottle to rest it horizontally. “Okay, so the rules are… whoever it lands on: you kiss, no exception. None of this bull shit kissing on the cheek, you can give a little tongue if you’re nasty, and the most fun part is you take a shot before _and_ after! I have some amaretto from Sirius gimme two tics.” She stood up, wobbled, and naruto-ran out of the common room. Peter, the most sober of them all, (and that was _saying_ something as he was sporting a red lacy bra belonging to Marlene and had four empty cans around him) stood up to make sure everyone was sitting on the floor around the coffee table rather than some on sofas and chairs. 

Lily returned, shimmying with her bottle of amaretto. She plonked herself practically on top of Mary who squealed with laughter and moved her off so they were sat side by side. Lily poured amaretto into the shot glasses on a tray in front of her and clapped once. 

“Okay, I’ll go first and then we move around the circle okay? Okay!” 

She spun the bottle, it spun for a while at her enthusiastic hand and it landed on Remus. Lily looked delighted and Remus chuckled. He accepted her shot with a ' _cheers'._

“I am happy that you’re the first girl I will ever kiss. And I’m hoping you’re my last too.”

“I’m offended?” Marlene said, raising a hand to her chest. “I thought we had something?” 

“Fuck off, Marlene he’s mine.” 

Lily leant over Marlene and Dorcas as Remus leant over Fabian and Caradoc and placed a light kiss on Lily's lips. 

“How was that? Was that good for you?” Lily worried as they clambered back to their spaces.

“I’m still gay?” Remus offered.

“Brilliant!” 

Marlene’s, Dorcas’ _and_ Caradoc’s spin all landed on Dora.

“Guys seriously, I’m flattered.” They laughed. “But please, Fabian, if you pick me too, I actually refuse.” 

Fabian smiled at them, and spun the bottle- Remus' heart began beating faster. The tip of the bottle landed on Peter and Remus pushed the feeling of disappointment down. 

Remus was next, his landed on James.

“Pucker up, big boy!” James declared, leaning over bodies to grab Remus’ cheeks and plant a wet sloppy kiss directly on his lips. 

The game continued, shots of amaretto passed around. Peter had to kiss Mary, Dora had to kiss Lily, James had to kiss Caradoc, Sirius got to kiss Marlene- _“You got Lily, I got Sirius, I think that’s pretty fair.”_ \- Mary kissed Caradoc (was that a bit of tongue?) Lily kissed Fabian, Marlene kissed Mary, Dorcas kissed Pete, Caradoc kissed Sirius (Remus made sure he did not look at that and made the effort to hold his tongue when Dorcas began questioning the experience of Sirius’ ‘first’ homosexual kiss.) Fabian kissed Mary and it was Remus’ turn again. He felt limbless as the gang tapped their laps in a drum roll-

\- And the bottle landed on Sirius. 

The gang cheered, even Lily. Remus swallowed and looked up to Sirius who shared a similar worried look.

“Shot!” Lily shouted, passing them both a shot and Remus swallowed his cautiously, beginning to feel a bit ill. He took a chance to glance at Mary who wasn’t smiling. He leant over the coffee table and Sirius did the same. 

“Kiss then!” Dora urged.

“Hi.” Sirius whispered, nervously.

“Hi.” Remus repeated, rubbing his clammy hands on his thighs.

Sirius reached forward and cupped a hand on Remus’ cheek, far too gently for the format of the game and Remus let out a shuddered breath. He watched how little baby hairs flew backwards at the motion and he couldn’t handle it any more. He leant forward entirely and kissed Sirius, meaning for it to be a peck but not expecting Sirius to hold him to his face for a longer kiss. Remus widened his eyes in shock, staring at Sirius’ closed eyelids. He looked _at peace_ and Remus hated to be the person to bring worry back on to his features, but the feelings that were so close to the surface threatened to bubble over. He scrambled away, practically falling on his arse on the floor. The whole ordeal was incredibly awkward, and the room seemed to feel it too as it fell into silence. Remus took another shot and looked at Peter as if to dare him to ask a question.

“Go on then.” He snapped, pointing to the bottle.

Mary laughed without any humour before standing up and excusing herself to the bathroom. James punched Sirius in the arm which cut off his unrequited staring contest with Remus with those _fucking Sirius Black eyes_ , and scramble up to follow. 

No one made a move for the bottle, but Lily did stand up to connect her phone to the Bluetooth speaker, the sounds of _Love Shack_ echoing through the room. Marlene, Dorcas, Caradoc, Dora and Peter all stood up to join Lily with a cup of Marlene’s Magic Mix™ each. James eyed Remus warily before getting up himself. He felt Fabian touch his arm.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly.

“I- I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to tell me, but I sense there was a little bit of tension there… is it something I should be worried about?” Fabian made his point with an eyebrow raise and a hand grip.

“It _shouldn’t_ be but he’s- well, I’m sure you’ve noticed how he’s been tonight…”

“Were you two together? Am I dealing with a jealous ex?”

“What? No!” Remus shrieked, “His girlfriend is Mary, he’s _straight.”_

Fabian seemed shocked at this information, blinking a few times.

“Him and _Mary?_ ”

“Yeah…”

“Oh, I mean, they haven’t really been with each other tonight- I thought they had sex now and then. They aren’t very affectionate with each other.” He observed, frowning.

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed.”

He did. It was some kind of hope he held onto when they first got together. When either entered the room, the other would give them some attention, and then for the rest of the time, they wouldn’t talk or touch. Remus found that strange on Sirius’ part, his childhood having been so touch-starved, of which he made up for now with hugs and caresses to his friends. He would have thought that Sirius would have been an attentive partner, not whatever _this_ was.

His thoughts were interrupted by the couple in question returning, hand-in-hand and adorning gigantic grins.

“What are you guys doing? Come on! Back to your seats, we _at least_ have to finish the circle!” Mary sang, pulling Sirius down to the floor and waited eagerly for people to return to their seats in confusion. “Go on, Pete!”

Peter spun the bottle; it landed on Fabian-

The game commenced once more, the prior awkwardness streaming through the cracks of the doors and into the wilderness.

Dora kissed Remus, James kissed Marlene (Lily insisted it didn’t land on her) Sirius kissed Lily and Mary- 

She didn’t spin it at all, opting to just move the bottle to face Sirius. 

“That’s now how the game works…” Caradoc started but was shushed. 

“I would just like to say, ME AND SIRIUS FINALLY SAID THE L WORD TO EACH OTHER!” Mary squealed.

The group reacted quickly, congratulating the couple. Remus felt his throat constrict tightly, feeling so _fucking stupid_ for _still_ feeling _anything_ for Sirius. They caught eyes and Remus was able to smile and nod at him, before Sirius was grabbed and kissed by Mary. He dropped his smile as fast as he conjured it, mentally trying to shake himself out of it.

“You okay?” Fabian murmured.

That’s right, _Fabian._ Remus said he would move on, didn’t he? And Sirius was doing a fine job of it himself. Taking a deep breath, he turned his head to a concerned, and slightly sad looking Fabian. He gave him the most genuine, toothy grin he could muster and tapped his knee affectionately.

_“Completely. “_

“Alright alright! Stop now! If I can’t snog my boyfriend on my birthday neither can you.” Lily laughed, pulling at Mary’s arm to stop her.

_“_ That could be easily _rectified.”_ James flirted.

“Still not a good enough excuse to use the word rectified, James.” Peter patronised to a pouting James after Lily flipped him off. 

Lily brought the gang’s attention to the game again, spinning the bottle until it stopped on Sirius. 

“You mind?” She asked Mary, sarcastically, who shooed her off and moved backwards so they could kiss.

Marlene ended up kissing Remus, Dorcas kissed Peter and Caradoc kissed Dora. Fabian spun the bottle and it finally, _finally_ landed on Remus. 

Remus bit his lip to stop him from grinning too ridiculously, the same could not be said for the red-head. Remus could see Lily grinning too, shooting him a wink, and leaning forward so she could hand the amaretto shots to the two boys. They knocked them back with ease and returned to staring at each other with smothered grins. Remus placed his hand on Fabian’s upper leg as he sat up and leant towards him.

CRASH

“Sirius! Shit! The uni is gonna kill us!”

Remus snapped his head from a dazed Fabian to Sirius, who was holding a broken wine glass and red wine staining his trousers and the white carpet underneath him.

Remus sighed, smiling apologetically at Fabian before standing up and announcing, “I’ll grab the soap and vinegar, then we should all probably head to bed. I’m tired anyways.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hold on, I’ll just grab a spare tea towel from my room, I bought a bunch when James had the bright idea to staple the three under the sink to make a mega dish towel.” Remus announced, stepping over various bodies as they scrubbed the floor. 

  


“It was a carefully devised plan to dry more than one dish at a time!” James defended. “And why have you got a secret stash of tea towels?”

  


“Emergencies for when you decide to staple any others.” Remus replied matter-of-factly and headed out of the common room. 

  


He pulled open the door to room B and stepped inside. He startled to hear it close, Sirius leaning against it.

  


“Er, hi?” Remus greeted awkwardly, bending down to pull open his drawer and retrieve the tea towels. 

  


“Why won’t you look at me?”

  


Remus stood up straight, facing Sirius.

  


“I _am_ looking at you. Ready to go? We need to remove the stain.” He replied, strongly. 

  


He stepped towards the door, reaching for the handle behind Sirius, to only have an arm wrapped around his neck. 

  


“Sirius.”

  


“Remus, please- I- I don’t know how I feel.” 

  


“What’s that supposed to mean? You told Mary you love her so you _clearly_ know how you feel. Congratulations by the way.” Remus said, without bitterness. He was proud of himself. Sirius seemed to latch on further, massaging his fingers in Remus’ hair.

  


“No, I don’t think I do. I don’t know- sometimes I think I do, but then you-”

  


“Sirius, no.”

  


“But Remus-”

  


“I said no.” Remus boomed, throwing Sirius off of him and scoffing at his wounded-puppy eyes. “This is crazy. _You_ are crazy!” He threw his arms up in frustration.

  


“I’m not crazy…” Sirius murmured, shuffling on his feet and clenching and unclenching his fists.

  


“You can’t keep doing this, Sirius. It’s not fair on either of us.” Remus whispered softly. “And this only happens when you’re drunk-”

  


“Why do you think I drank so much today, hm? You think it’s _easy_ seeing you with that guy?” Sirius snapped, pointing to the general direction of the common room.

  


“That guy?” Remus repeated, confused. “ _Fabian?”_

  


“Yes, _Fabian.”_ Sirius replied, air quoting the man in question. “He’s all over you!”

  


“I- _what?_ Why does it matter if he is? What does it matter to _you? You’ve_ moved on! You’re fucking _straight,_ Sirius!”

  


“But, maybe, maybe-”

  


“No.” Remus cut off, holding a hand out in front of him to halt the man. “I’m not going to be the person you do this to. Not now, not again. Talk to someone else about it. Let me move on.”

  


“But-”

  


“Sirius. I mean it.” Remus interrupted with clarity, eyes boring into Sirius’ with anger induced intensity. “Let me move on.”

  


Sirius looked up at Remus through dark lashes and he gulped at the sight. He would have to be strong for the both of them, there was no way this was going to happen _again_ especially when Sirius only acknowledged his feelings when drunk. Remus nodded towards the door, signalling his desire to leave and Sirius stepped to the side, small, damaged, bruised, allowing Remus’ departure.

  


He heard the door close behind him when he reached the common room, turning to see a flurry of black hair and leather enter room A with a slammed door. Remus let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

  


James came running out to meet him, Caradoc, Dora and Fabian right behind.

  


“You got them? Oh, thank god! Mary just spilt more on the cloth we were actually using.” James rushed, snatching the tea towel and running back inside.

  


“Yeah, we’re off, mate. Thanks for a good night, hopefully, Lily will invite us out with you lot again!” Caradoc said, shaking Remus’ hand.

  


“You guys gonna be okay getting back?” 

  


“Oh yeah, Caradoc here splashed out on one of those penthouse complexes so we are gonna camp out there. Uber is five minutes away.” Dora supplied, reaching forward for a quick hug. “Nice to meet you, Remus! We will have to have a coffee date to chat about Oscar Wilde! Lily has my number.” 

  


“Sounds good to me. Get back safely, okay? Give Lily a ring when you’re back.” 

  


“Yes, mum!” Dora laughed, weaving their arm through Caradoc’s and taking him through the exit, leaving Remus and Fabian alone in the hallway.

  


“So…” Remus huffed, a little dreamily.

  


“So.” Fabian replied. They both chuckled awkwardly. “Oh god, I was hoping this would be a lot smoother but… pass me your phone.” He held out an expectant hand. 

  


Remus rushed to follow order, watching Fabian smirk as he punched his number into the phone. He took Remus’ hand and placed his phone back into it, manually curling his fingers around it. 

  


“Call me, okay? Or text, I would like to meet up sometime if- if you’re keen?”

  


“Like a date?” Remus flirted, swaying a little bit closer.

  


“If that makes you keener then absolutely.” Fabian flirted back. 

  


They smiled in silence, hands still caressing when Fabian said, “You owe me a kiss.”

  


“That can be easily sorted.” Remus breathed, leaning forward as Fabian leant to the side, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek.

  


“Let’s go on that date first, make it special.” Fabian whispered in his ear and pulled away, taking a step back.

  


Remus laughed a little frustrated, “We were literally going to kiss in front of a bunch of other students in some stupid game whilst drunk, you call that special?”

  


Fabian chuckled, interlacing their fingers again, “It was Lily's birthday and she made the rules. It’s now past that. Text me.”

  


“Okay.” Remus whispered, rooted on the spot as Fabian made his way to the exit with a smirk rested on his face. 

  


He watched him leave, his stomach in an array of hopeful flutters. He realised he must have been a sight, swaying with a goofy smile and red cheeks, staring at the long-closed door, but he couldn't find himself to care. Not even when he heard the tell tale signs of Sirius Black’s vinyl record player flowing from room A. He spared a glance to the end of the hallway feeling nothing but pride for himself. He was doing the right thing.

  


“REMUS GET IN HERE! JAMES HAS FOUND A STAPLER!”

  
  
  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear:  
> I am a BIG Queen fan so Sirius is rightfully angry in my eyes
> 
> and the games cafe that Lily and Remus go to is based on a cafe in my hometown! It's really lovely but yes, the stuff there is very expensive. 
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TOMORROW MR REMUS LUPIN!


End file.
